Adventures in DMVing

Before I get started here, I want to give you a little tip. When your driver's license renewal form says be sure to renew during the month of your birthday, it actually means "be sure to renew during the month BEFORE your birthday", if you are born on the 1st day of the month. (I know, April Fools on me!). Otherwise you'll be obliviously driving around with an expired driver's license.

Do you ever get that feeling, when you step into a DMV, that "You are now entering The Twilight Zone"?


(a quick picture puzzle for your enjoyment) (do you get it?)

Anyway, I knew before I left my house that it was going to be "one of those days". First of all, I was quite proud of myself for not waiting until the last minute to go renew my license. But as I was talking to Chatty Kelly on the phone, I re-read the renewal form and got that feeling in the pit of my stomach that rather than going 2 weeks early, I was 2 weeks late.

So off I go to DMV. I should have known things weren't going to go as expected when I missed my exit and had to backtrack. Oh well. After I arrived, I reached into my "bag of expressions", grabbed my Scarlet O'Hara smile, plastered it on my face and approached the counter.

"Hello, I'd like to renew my driver's license please".

The lady at the desk took my form and then, while simultaneously picking at the piece of a breakfast burrito that was stuck in her teeth, proceeded to inform me that it was expired.


"Do you have your birth certificate or passport?".
Hhhmmmm, I was SURE I had brought them. I always keep them in my back pocket...just in case.
That Scarlet O'Hara smile didn't even phase her.
"I'll need to go home for that."
She didn't even look back at me....."Next!"

I rushed home. I just knew they had a policeman stationed outside to building, waiting to pull me over for driving with an expired license, but I made it without incident. Oh, yeah, It had started to rain too. I Knew exactly where my birth certificate was (HA, one of those organizing tips worked after all), and returned to DMV. Went BACK to the lady at the desk, got my number and took a seat. I was #A 48. As I sat down, they called #A 46. This was going to be a breeze.

Then they called the next number. It was #E 169. HEY, what happened to A's? Then they called #C 243 and #B 123. HHmmm, this could be a while. #C 244. THAT'S NOT FAIR. C's are mover quicker than A's!

As I looked around at the other patrons, I had the strangest feeling that I had somehow slipped out of Virginia and was sitting somewhere in the middle of Deliverance, USA.


Finally they called my number. After I somehow pulled off the eye exam, they informed me that I needed a new picture. Hey! I like my old picture. It was 8 years ago. Too bad. "Have a seat and we'll call you back for your picture". *sigh*

They called my name to take the picture. "Sit down in that chair and we'll take your...FLASH...all done."

"Go wait and we'll call you when it's ready."

I really, really had to go to the ladies room by now, but I just KNEW that if I went, they would call my name. I waited and waited and finally decided I really didn't have a choice. Of course as soon as I entered the stall, I heard over the loudspeaker..."MyADHDMe, Please come to the desk"

After I returned from the ladies room, I went to the desk, "You called my name?"
BLANK STARE

Finally, someone said, "Oh yeah, you're done".

I looked at the picture. I didn't like it as much as the last one, but in 8 more years I'll probably love it and once again dread parting with it. (it's amazing how much younger one looks 8 years ago!)

Oh, and the reason I mentioned the rain earlier...well....you guessed it. Roseanne Rosanna Danna.
On a final note, I must admit it could have been worse. $32.00 renewal fee for 8 years really isn't that bad AND they didn't even charge a fee because it had expired.

"Well Jane, it just goes to show you....."