This Just Cracks Me Up

I've got a ton of things to do today. Chores, errands, calls to make, etc. You know, pretty much the typical "keep your household running stuff". It's a little after 8 A.M. and the kids just left for school. I was on the way to the kitchen to knock that out first but somehow I ended up sitting here at my computer. I decided not to spend much time here rambleing on about this and that (mainly that....but sometimes this). So I decided to share with you my all time favorite joke in the entire world. Granted, I haven't heard every joke in the world and I usually forget most of them as soon as I hear them, but I LOVE this one. It is SO funny to me. Some of you have heard it, I've told it to some people and they just stare at me with blank eyes-----but actually I get alot of that even when carrying on every day conversations. Anyway, here it is (I don't know who originally said it and please no copyright infringements or calls of plagiarism (I was sure that was spelled plagerism but I got the "little red Line" so I looked it up and this time I even read the definition, so there really is an "I" in plagiarism) ....oh yeah, here's the joke:

"Mahatma Gandi walked barefoot most times which produced impressive calluses on his feet. He ate very little, making him rather frail. With his odd diet, he also suffered from bad breath...,

This made him........


A Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed by Halitosis."


That just cracks me up every time I read it.
OK, I am off to clean up the kitchen.
BTW, In reference to yesterday, I stood firm! "No Video Games and No Computer Time" all day!! (I am woman hear me roar....) And I was right, sometime around 4:00 he quietly made his way to the computer. When I confronted him he said "He Forgot"! To help him remember, I said if he forgot again then there would be none today either. He didn't forget again. And today, he trotted off to the school bus.....the knives are gone......for now.

Now, I am really going to go clean the kitchen.....right after I check my e-mail.

Who's In Charge?

I wasn't going to blog today. I wasn't even going to be home. I was supposed to babysit my sister's daughter but my youngest son (little Alberquando) had to stay home from school. He's not feeling well. He says his stomach hurts and it feels like (and I quote) "There is a knife poking his stomach from the inside". I gave him the typical mom's response of "Go poop and you'll feel better". Well, that didn't help. Now I am not an uncaring or mean mom. As a matter of fact, I have been told on NUMEROUS occasions by NUMEROUS people that I am too easy on my kids, but this is VERY inconvenient. Oh of course I cannot send him to school with knives poking in his stomach but I KNOW , I mean I really KNOW that he is OK. (of course I still can't send him to school because what if there is that 2% chance that something really is wrong....I hate making these decisions)I also KNOW and I mean I really KNOW when he wakes back up (I sent him back to bed) , that he is going to feel SO much better sometime around 3:30 (when school is over for the day). Then he is going to expect me to let him play on the computer or video games. The rule here is if you don't go to school then No computer and No video games that day...PERIOD. (ok, maybe I should say COMMA instead of period because I have been known to let the rule slide but this time I mean it!!) Never-the-less, this evening around 4:00 he's going to ask to get on the computer. I GUARANTEE it. I would bet you a million dollars that he is going to ask. I'm going to say "No" and he's going to look at me like I have just shot him in the foot. He's going to be shocked and surprised that I could be so cruel, after all, he'll say he feels better so what difference does it make? We'll argue about it because I haven't done a great job at always holding my ground. He'll beg because I haven't done a great job at sticking to the rules and he'll ask "Why?"even though he knows why. Hey. WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE? (me,right?) Now I am holding myself accountable to myself and the entire googleing blogging world that today THERE WILL BE NO VIDEO GAMES OR COMPUTER GAMES. There will be no joy in Mudville but I Will Be In Charge!! Now please remember that if I truly thought there were knives in his stomach that I would be the first one racing him to the hospital or calling 911, but his track record says that there is a 99.99% chance that he will be fine. (did you know that 97.4% of all statistics are made up on the spot?).
Now here's where are this is going (bet you thought we'd never get here). I was going to babysit my niece today. So I had to call my sister and cancel at the last minute. I have 2 sisters and we are all as different as night and day...and night. The sister I was babysitting for is a planner. Spur of the moment things put her in a tailspin. (I on the other hand live that way daily). She is NEVER late, always has her day planned out and probably has her daily planner filled (including playdates, lunches and menus) thru 2009. I'm sure that she had her entire day mapped out, probably had her GPS programmed, had decided what she was going to wear and was actually dressed, shoes by the door, and ready to go. Then her phone rang and I bet her heart skipped a beat when she saw my name on the caller ID. So you see, my day is messed up but I have probably thrown off the rest of her month. I feel pretty bad about that. Not to mention she had already told her daughter I was coming (Her daughter loves me....because I'm such a pushover).
Well, here I am, stuck at home with a child that has knives in his stomach but I feel worse for my sister. I wonder what's she's doing now? I know eventually today she'll be reading this so I'm Sorry CK.
Final note....This morning when my son asked if I was mad because he was staying home (since he knew I was supposed to babysit) I said "Of course not sweetheart, I love you". He smiled and crawled back in bed and looked at me and said "Promise?" I said "No honey, I'm just a little disappointed. Not for me but for my sister and of course for you and your brother. I was going to make $50.00 today. It wasn't for me, I was going to put it in our summer fun fund......It's ok, you rest, Good night sweet pea".......hhhmmm who's in charge now.

Blog Number 4 which is still actually a continuation of Blog #2!

I enjoy showing my intelligence to the entire world. In my 2nd blog I actually looked up the word PSYCHIC in dictionary.com. Unfortunately, it was pointed out to me that when you look up a word, you should also read the definition. I wrote PHYSIC. That is a word, just not the word I meant. A physic is "A medicine that purges"....maybe I did mean that??? It wouldn't have been so obvious except that I actually mentioned that I looked it up and STILL had the wrong word. Thank you to my very good friend for pointing that out. Also, thanks for sending it in email rather than in the comment section. Never-the-less I decided to announce to the world the mistake.
That's what I get for depending on "The Little Red Line".

Blog Number 3 but Really Continued from Number 2

Ok, it's been at least an hour since I checked my most recent blog and there are no comments. Granted I have only told a VERY few people about this and YES I know that most people that do read it will probably need to take a couple of Motrin after they read it but I am NOT going to become obsessive compulsive about checking this!!!!!!!!!....(really, I'm not).
HHmmm, did I remember to take my Adderall (compare to Ridalin) today. AAhhh, that's the problem!
(or is it?)

The Little Red Line

Oh my goodness! I have 3 comments. People are reading!! PRESSURE !! Then as I sat down to write I realized I need a title for each new blog. MORE PRESSURE!! I needed to come up with something new, eye catching and funny. When my second son was born his name was Baby Boy T. for 2 days. How can I name my blog when I could hardly name my son. I looked thru book after book of baby names. Eveyone was giving me advise. The nurses were pressuring me, Finally I took the baby book and said I am going to open the book at a random spot and point and THAT will be his name. I cannot remember what the name I pointed to was but it was something like Alberquando. Now please don't let me upset or offend those of you that have that name or have named their children that. I am sure it is a lovely name but, well, first of all I couldn't pronounce it...so actually I'm really not sure it is lovely since I don't know what it sounds like, and number 2, well, I forgot what number 2 was but there was another good reason. Oh yeah, I didn't want to be greedy. You see, one of my sisters hadn't had her children yet and the other was going to have another (I know that because I'm psychic ....Actually I'm really not psychic because if I was I wouldn't have had to go to www.dictionary.com to find out how to spell psychic) ANYWAY, what if I picked all the good names and didn't leave any to share with my sisters. That would be so unfair, even cruel. I just couldn't do that. The bottom line is (there is always a bottom line but don't always expect me to get there), anyway, the bottom line is that I decided to pass on the name Alberquando just so my sisters could use it if they wanted to. And then of all the nerve....they had their children and didn't even use the name after all. How Rude Is That!! Ok, well they did have girls but they could have altered the name a little bit to AlberquandA. BUT NO, I gave up a perfectly good name just for them and they didn't even use it. Instead I chose Eric. (I know, I'm not supposed to put names in here, so I need the jury to please ignore that last part). Also would the court reporter please delete it from the records....You know they say it is released from the records and the records will be sealed but it's still there. It's there just waiting for the whole world to find out what you named your child. Sounds sneaky to me. I'm very happy with the name Eric but every once in a while I'll tear up and think of little Alberquando...sigh.
Ok, I'm done and I still need a name for this blog.
I'm exhausted! This blogging is hard work.
BTW, I made it to the post office yesterday. Don't you hate it when you type in a word and that little red line comes up under it? It is shouting at you "Hey Stupid!, You spelled that wrong!) I realize that yestUrday should be spelled yestErday. So what if I forgot! BUT NO, it had to scream in my face. Hey I found out something new. If you spell a word correctly but put a capital letter in the middle, then the little red line still comes up. So there you go...the name of my blog...The Little Red Line
Have a great day! I need a nap. whew........

Monkeys Really Aren't That Funny

Monkeys Really AREN'T that funny. Ok, maybe some people are already disagreeing with me. I have nothing against monkeys or the people that find them comical.
HHmm, where was I, oh yeah, My favorite comic strip in the whole wide world is my "Monkeys Are Funny" Dilbert comic strip. It IS me. Hopefully, you can see it now above this post. I'm not sure if you can or can't because I am 100% computer illiterate and I just asked my sister to do that for me. Of course I had to give her all my info....passwords, logins etc but that's ok because there is a strong possibility that this strong urge that I have to blog will be gone tomorrow and I'll never be heard from again.
Great, I'm getting sidetracked again. That's when the monkeys come back. (BTW, I really do not have a deep rooted fear or love of monkeys).
SO, if you read the comic strip and don't think it is funny at all.....then thank you for joining us but you are not going to enjoy reading my blog. I'm surprised you're still here. But if you think it is funny or get it at all....you still might not enjoy reading this but at least you know what you're getting into.
Maybe I'll write again tomorrow. Maybe this evening...of course it could be next week....but definately by next Thursday...well, Thursday might not be good for me but if it's good for you I'll see what I can do.
I hope I remember my password (I can always ask my sister).
I really hope my sister was able to put the comic strip on here, otherwise, none of this will make sense. Or maybe it is just so deep that you need to ponder.....hhmmm
OK, I'm really done now.
That's all.
WOULD YOU PLEASE HANG UP NOW SO I CAN GO GET SOMETHING DONE AROUND HERE!!!!!
Actually, I really need to go to the post office. I've been on my way out the door for 3 hours. Then I stopped to check my email, then I read a few friends blogs, then I called my sister. Where was I....
I was just going to create a profile, 10-15 minutes and that's all....................... later