Sunday, August 31, 2008

Time Out

What quality of Christ's do you most see in yourself?

I'm taking a time out from my usual blog to try to answer this question that was asked at Edie's Blog.

At first I wasn't going to do this. I explained that I am not the best at showing emotions. (something about bricks, mortar, walls, etc). She "sweetly" told me of course it's ok if you don't participate, somehow in that phrase I heard "Do It!" here I am.

First of all....I found out immediately that this was a trick to get me to read my Bible more---that's ok though. Whatever it takes.

I even went searching for info on the internet. What I found in my searching was that Jesus was the master of the one-liners.

Matthew 23:24 (Jesus speaking) "You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel."
Matthew 7:4 (Jesus speaking) " How can you say to your brother Let me take the speck out of your eye when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?"

Jesus' stories and parables also had a way of starting of one way and ending on a completely different note than was expected. Sound like someone you know?

Also, I can't help but think that there was a twinkle in his eye when he first met with his disciples after his Resurrection. Picture his disciples just hanging around and all of the sudden Jesus pops out with a "Gotcha!" or a "Told you so!"

The times were different.
The humor was different.
And I don't recall any knock-knock jokes in the Bible, but I think Jesus had a wry or ironic sense of humor. Maybe even sometimes "off the wall".

So maybe humor or the ability to make people laugh...or at least smile, is the quality of Christ I see in myself.

Also, I feel strongly about not laughing at other people's expense. Not making fun of someone, just to make people laugh.. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others upaccording to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29.
Colossians 3:8 "But now you must rid yourself of all things such as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips".

I can't find much info on God and humor but he does tell us "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones" Proverbs 17:22 (also, written in my comment section of my last post).

On a final note, if you don't think God has a sense of humor, then open your eyes and look around at the world. Look at yourself, look at me, look at giraffes and kangaroos. Look at porcupines and aardvarks. Oh come on, you can bet he was cracking up at some point during that 6 day period.

Friday, August 29, 2008


My good blog friend, Edie, left SUCH a nice post and AWARD for for me on her BLOG.

She said my blog was funny? I had no idea. This is supposed to be a very serious blog recounting the life of a typical modern housewife/firefighter. Although I knew there was drama and suspense in my blog, I had absolutely no idea that people came to me for comedy. Comedy? What an awesome concept!

"Comedian-a person who amuses others by behaving in a comic way. an entertainer who tells jokes, sings comic songs." (hhmmm, link, link, everybody link, linking on computers is makin' me think. Click this, Don't click that, can't you learn to link?)

"Comedienne" (from a 1953 dictionary) " a woman comedian"

"Comedo- 1. glutton, 2. a plug of dirt and fatty matter in a skin duct"
Why would they put such a yucky word in the dictionary right between comedienne and comedy?---other than the fact that it falls there alphabetically? I'm going to change that. From this day on, whenever I use the word "comedo" in my day to day life (as that word does typically come up at least once or twice a day), I am officially changing the spelling of it to Komedo.

(hold please while I post an e-mail to Webster so he can officially fix it for future dictionaries)

OK, I'm back.

Comedy....I think that could be fun! I could write comedy. That would be something new and fun.

Funny....I could be funny....maybe...

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen.
A funny thing happened to me on the way to the computer....."

hhhmmm, I think that's been used.

"Good afternoon ladies and germs...."

already been done.

COMEDY. Comedy. comedy. CoMeDy.
Comedy. Comedy. COMEDY. Comedy. Comedy. comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy, COMEDY!! Comedy, Comedy,Comedy, COMEDY, comedy.

PRESSURE. This isn't as easy as I thought it would be. HHmmm, I think I'll try this a different way.

"Teacher: Jason, go to the map and find North America.
Jason: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered North America?
Class: (in unison) JASON!"

"How did the giant's wife know that Jack was coming? She could hear Jack and the beans talk!"

"What sound does a chicken crossed with a cow make?......Cock-a-Doodle-MOO."

You aren't laughing.....(starting to sweat) According to Alberquando's JOKELOPEDIA , those jokes should have you cracking up.....I know I feel like I am.....cracking up that is.

Ok, I have one of his other joke books.
"What do you call an elephant that never washes?.........A Smellyphant!!!!!!


I GIVE UP!!! I can't take the pressure! I'm sorry but if you came to me for comedy I cannot do it. I'm going back to my old writing style. Just the typical mundane, day-to-day, normal, routine, PROSAIC (is that where they got the idea for the name of prozac?.....not that I would know), everyday, commonplace, banal, ordinary......OK, PUTTING AWAY THE THESAURUS NOW......writings of your typical housewife/firefighter.

Thank you.....Thank you very much...........

Thursday, August 28, 2008


I'm sure everyone's been to Google for some reason or another. You key in your word or words and 10 million (possible exaggeration) sites come up.

Well, I typed in Alberquando and ONLY links to my blog and blogs belonging to those of you who mentioned my little Alberquando, came up. (and a few that weren't written in English). Can you imagine? There was that "wonderful" name that I passed up and NOT ONE other person in the entire internet universe has chosen it! Amazing. Those of you that haven't been here from the start may not realize it but my 12 year old son's name isn't really Alberquando. It became his blog name by accident. CLICK HERE to read how. (yes, this is a BLATANT way to show off my new linking skill!)

"LINK: establishing a connection or union between objects. To join. A connecting ring of a chain."

"A torch can also be called a link. hence the definition of a "Link-Boy" is a boy or man formally hired to carry a link or a torch to light one's way home at night."

"Link, link, everywhere a link. Blocking out the scenery making me think. Click this, don't click that, can't you learn to link?"

"Link Link bottle of ink, cork fell out...I learned to link"

"Linkoping- A city in South East Sweden"

"A tiskit, a tasket, a red and yellow basket. I mailed a letter to my friend with info and I linked it"

"Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold. Now that I have learned to link, I'm feeling rather bold!"

"of course, Art Linkletter"

"Big wheels keep on linkin', Proud Mary keep on thinkin'. Linkin'! Linkin'! Linkin' on computers!"

"Four score and seven years ago...." --who else---Abraham Linkin' (ouch)

"Linkin' Logs and Linkin' Blogs"

Whew! I'm exhausted. Oh by the way. Did I mention that I learned to link?

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Art "Link"letter

I have 2 friends who are desperately trying to help me learn to link.

My normal way of linking about things while I'm writing my blog is to give these directions:
1. Minimize my blog page.
2. Reopen your internet home page.
3. Type in www.whatever
4. Search for whatever it is I was talking about.
5. Read it.
6. Close that page.
7.Enlarge my blog and continue reading it.

My other way is to say:
1.Go to my comment page
2 Click on Chatty Kelly's page from one of her comments
3.Find the person I want you to link to and go for it.

Anyway, these 2 friends insist there is a better way. They say there is a way to do it where people will actually go to the page you want them to. One of these friends I've known forever and one I've know just a few short weeks (Chatty Kelly and Edie).....actually, I cannot honestly say I've known Kelly forever because since she is younger than I am (and believe me, she would be the first to let you know,), the first 4 years of my life were spent not knowing her. BUT she's known me all of her life....and I can assure you that there was a time span during my teenage years when she would have loved to NOT know me. I'm not sure why. As I'm sure all of you can imagine, I was the most angelic older sister ever born.....NOT.

Our dad worked all the time (4 kids and a mentally unstable wife). Our mom was....hhhmmm....I have to phrase this delicately....."mentally unstable" (and believe me, that IS phrasing it delicately). I was the rebel. Kelly was the quiet one that did "everything" right. She did everything she could to please others and I did everything I could to make sure they knew that I didn't care. She got her feelings hurt easily and was emotional and I went out of my way to prove to the world...and the family, that I had NO emotions or feelings.

Those of you that know us personally and even those of you who only know us through our blogs probably could have already figured all that out.

Well, we grew up, life goes on. We have our issues. But don't we all?


Monkey's are funny. Monkey's are funny. Monkey's are funny!!

Do you know why I say Monkey's are funny when I get off track. I explained it all in my first post. I'm sure that all my readers that began to visit my blog after I had written numerous posts went back and read all the previous ones....what do you mean you didn't? Didn't the curiosity drive you crazy? Or maybe you had such a headache after reading just one that you had to take 2 Tylenol and lay down. NOT TO WORRY. To get to my first blog to find out whether or not I really think monkeys are funny:

1. Just go to my older posts.
2. Scroll down to the earliest ones..
3. .....KIDDING.

It would be so much easier if I could link you there. You might even check it out if I make it easy. Kelly sat me down and showed me how. Edie sent me detailed instructions. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

To see whether or not I think Monkey's REALLY are funny....Click Here!!

Well, did you do it????? Did It work???

I had a hard time coming up with a name for this post. For some reason the name Art Linkletter just kept popping up. Some of you will know who is he and some won't. I don't know why I thought of him. The only thing I remember about him was that he was the host of a video (I think they probably called it a movie back in those "olden" days) I watched in elementary school. It was about not getting into cars or going away with strangers. He was the host of a tv show called "Kids Say The Darndest Things" (before Bill Cosby). He was a huge anti-drug advocate. He has been quoted saying "Sometimes I'm asked by kids why I condemn marijuana when I haven't tried it. The greatest obstetricians in the world have never been pregnant". If he said that today, it would be wise to change it to "MANY of the greatest...." You've come a long way baby!

That is your trivia for the day.

Losing focus...Monkey Are Funny!

Monday, August 25, 2008

ET, Blog Home

Am I the only one who has noticed that ET hasn't commented yet about my mini-series? It was her house where all the action took place. She got home Saturday. It is now Monday at approx 11:30 am.


Sunday, August 24, 2008

My Passion

I am supposed to write about my passion. I know I am supposed to because Edie's blog, Rich Gifts, said so. Of course I did it backwards. I posted my passion under her comments, then went to Mr Linky Dink and spent about 25-30 minutes figuring out how to do it correctly. After figuring it out, I realized it was something that should have taken about 2 minutes. THEREFORE just pretend I didn't tell you it took me 25-30 minutes.

SO, I poured out my heart under her comment section about my passion. I just can't type the whole thing over again. I am a slow typer (typist?). It isn't that good anyway....and after reading it again (after I already posted it) there is not even a drop of humor in it. (yawn)

SO, if you want to read it....then go read it. If you don' biggie, then don't. But you may want to check out her blog. It's pretty darn cool, and if I say that it's pretty darn cool...then it must be! (That was D-A-R-N, sometimes those letters get bunched up and it looks like something else....not on THIS G-rated blog!)

(of course I'm clueless about linking you there, but you can get there through my comment section). I'm going to learn how to do that soon. I promise. Actually, I'm going to need to "re-learn" as Chatty Kelly already taught me once.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

"ET Phone Home"----well, come home, and Welcome Home

Today is our last day of staying at ET's house.

My intention was to have everything packed and partially loaded into the car last night....oh well.
I'll get on that soon. I'm going to make the boys do most of it anyway.

It is somewhere around 9:00 AM right now. I forgot to ask ET when to expect them back. Hopefully it will be after I finish cleaning up the kitchen. Most of the other cleaning has been done. The boys did most of it. I waited on them all week and even chauffeured (I'm tired of looking up that word on really should remember it by now) them to the mall twice more after the first fiasco!

I really enjoy getting away from home with my kids. It was a fun week. No matter what we do or where we go, it is almost always a stress-free and relaxing time.......after all, if no one lost their temper during the first 24 hours here, I think we are doing pretty good. When we are away from home we are all more relaxed and even my headaches seem to subside. Too bad those darn voices don't subside too!

NOTE: Please realize that when I refer to the voices I am KIDDING!!! is more of a general humming.....which is better than a admiral humming....or a lieutenant humming----KIDDING!!) Actually ( and really) it is just the typical ADHD rush of thoughts that are always swirling much to little of it matters...most of it is random....but it there just begging to be said.

Anyway, as I said, ET will return home, she and her family will get their van unpacked, they'll do a few things, maybe relax and grab a bite to eat....uh there any food left? Oh yeah...there are plenty of cans of veggies...sigh. Anyway, then she will sit down at her computer. She'll probably check up on her e-mails and do some random things. At that point she may decide to see what is going on in blog land. She is a regular reader of mine.....I'm pretty sure she'll read my mini-series....gulp......I think I'm going to go and finish cleaning up that kitchen now. Maybe I need to run to the store and buy a bottle of wine too. Remember that one that was already half empty....remember those 2 glasses I had on the first night.....did I fail to mention the glass or two that I had on a few other nights? (OH STOP.....Just a glass or too in the evening....not even tipsy------"Have I been drinking officer? Well, Just barely. I only had 2 beers with dinner." (a few of my policeman friends say that is one of the most heard phrases they get).

Well ET, hope you enjoyed your vacation. I don't think we broke anything. Actually, there was that door knob on one of the closet doors but Alberquando said it just fell off in his hand. I think I'll go see if I can fix that before you get home. Also, you may want to go to the grocery store soon.....after all you did say help yourselves...once again, "peas and corn anyone?".

What is that you asked? Of course we'll come back next year! Looking forward to it already.
(ok, now I'm reallly going to go and clean that kitchen!)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

T, C, & C ...oh my....CONCLUSION

Welcome Back.

Note: Make sure you didn't miss part 4. It was posted this morning.

Our first 24 hours recap has almost come to the end. What else could possibly have happened in such a short time span?

As I sit here typing, I can understand how the writers and producers of the TV show Happy Days felt. I have "Jumped the Shark". But, I have signed a contract for 5 episodes of "T,C, & C....oh my....... " , so here I go.

We arrived, had unpacking issues, alcohol has been hidden, had toilet plunger near emergencies, made it through the mole emergency and have gone bowling. I fixed dinner.....slaved away for hours over Hot Pockets and Rammen noodles. By the time I cleaned up the kitchen (ok, I straightened it but will clean it tomorrow....really I will.) I was exhausted. I climbed the stairs to the bedroom and lay down in the bed.....reminding the kids to turn off the lights when they went to bed....if they went to bed.

Next morning when I wake up, every light in the house is still on,. The tv is on and there is a teenager sprawled out asleep on the sofa, one asleep in another bedroom and a 12 year old curled up next to me.

The kitchen, although it wasn't spotlessly clean when I went to bed, had been straighted the night before. Well, it now looked like a military group had posted command there and had to leave in the middle to go fight a war. It looks like the entire weeks worth of food has been eaten. Hhhmmm, how odd, the cans of veggies are still here.

Did they not know that the white rectangular object next to the refrigerator is called a trash can? Did they not know that Pizza Roles, Toquitoes and Hot Pockets are very hard to scrape off the plates if they aren't rinsed afterwards? Don't they even know that if you don't feel like putting dished in the dishwasher, that you can at least put them in the sink? Do they know that it isn't necessary to open every snack on the first day? Do I need to explain-again-the meaning and use of a "chip-clip"? Also, I KNOW I started out with a case of soft drinks AND a gallon pitcher of Tea, a gallon of milk and a pitcher of kool-aid and at least 12 water bottles. It doesn't bother me so much at the incredible decrease in available beverages but I am a bit annoyed at the number of half full drinks that are sitting around. There will be a discussion about that today when they wake up-----whenever that will be. On a brighter side, the hidden alcohol is all still intact......minus 2 glasses of wine....but that was for me.

Ok, even though this is about the next day, it is still in the first 24 hour period....although I must confess that by the end of this story we will have passed the 24 hour time frame. Just think of it as a Bonus Extra like they have on DVD's.

Everyone is awake, there have been discussions of picking up after yourself and not wasting and also the threat of "do you want to eat nothing but canned veggies the last 4 days we are here?"

The big boys want to go to the mall. Alberquando wants to stay here and play on the computer. Due to the car "mishaps" that recently took place, I need to chauffeur them. No problem. Alberquando and I drive them to the mall, listening to loud awful "grind core" music, laughing and talking. We drop them off and go home without incident.

When it's time to go back and pick them up I have no idea how I got there in the first place. (duh). I call JM and feeling rather foolish, ask him for directions to get back to the mall. (he drove last year). 2 turns. That's all. Turn left at the CVS and turn right on a street I'll just call Elm street. No problem. We drive and drive and drive. FINALLY, I see CVS but I have a yucky feeling that I've gone way too far. I turn left and end up at a dead end. I call JM. After much discussion, we realize that the CVS he was talking about had changed into a Walgreens since the last time we were here. So Alberquando and I back track. We drive and we drive and we drive....(kind of reminds me of "they rocked back and forth and back and forth"....ooopps, sorry, I said I wasn't going to talk about that anymore). We get to Walgreens and make the appropriate turn.

Then we drive looking for Elm street. We drive and we drive and we drive (ha). WHERE IS ELM STREET?!! I KNOW I didn't pass it. I KNOW that Elm Street is the correct name because it is one of the few things I did notice when I dropped them off earlier. I call JM again......(you're right "On Purpose", he is definitely being primed for major counseling). He can't figure out what I did wrong. So I back track AGAIN! Finally I turn down "Green Street" on a whim. 2 blocks later in the distance I see the mall!! I look at the street sign and of course now it says Elm Street. Only in my world does the street name change right in the middle from one name to another, (yes, I know this happens in other worlds also but this is my story so I can say that if I want to).

I am not normally normal. Opps, what I meant to say is I am not normally ditzy, dizzy, or airheaded but I felt completely foolish as I finally drove up and picked them up. (I'm just glad it wasn't late or that the mall had closed). That 20-25 minute round trip ended up taking about an hour and a half. I am exhausted....where did I hide that alcohol?

Well, my story is reaching the end. My 24 hour recap is almost over as is our week here. Soon it will be time to pack up and head across the country to make that 45 minute drive home.

Ladies and Gentlemen......Fonzie has jumped the shark!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

T, C, & C ...oh my....PART 4 (4 of 5)

You all must be going crazy trying to figure out what we decided to do!

( if you aren't up to date by now then I'm sorry but it isn't fair for the rest of the class to wait. Therefore you'll need to catch up on your own time.)

OH ALL RIGHT!! We'll wait just a few minutes for you to read the last 3 posts so you can catch up with the story. This is a huge inconvenience for all of the consistent readers. Please try to be more considerate next time.

OK, We were looking for something to do that we all would enjoy. That's when we decided to rent a rocket and take a trip to the moon. KIDDING!! Just making sure you were paying attention.

We are in an average sized town...trying to watch our beach or local themeparks. Just a typical neighborhood. Sooooooo.....We Went Bowling!

CRASH!! That was the sounds of disappointment heard throughout the blogging world.

Tip to all new bloggers......never build up something that isn't spectacular. I've been sitting here FOREVER trying to make "we went bowling" live up to everyone's expectations.

It was fun though. I haven't bowled in many years. Did you know that you use muscles when you bowl that seldom get used? Did you know that unused muscles don't like to be rudely put to work after they have been asleep for a long time? Did I mention how stiff I am today?

Well, we've almost come to the end of a recap of our first 24 hours here. What else could I possibly say to finish this off? What could we possibly do in a 24 hour span that could top or even equal what has happened so far?

"What?" You ask.

Tune in next time!
Same Bat Blog!
Same Bat Story......................

T, C, & C ...oh my....PART 3

Ah, so it seems I have some people's attention now.

So here we are, a recap of the first 24 hours at ET's house. We are somewhere around hour 3 or 4 at this point. For those of you who haven't read the last two posts, you need to go and read them to catch up. We'll all sit here and wait while you do so, but this is the last time....after that it will be you're own responsibility. tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock...ok, all caught up? Good then we can continue.

We all hear the high pitched screaming sound and I must admit it was making me a bit nervous.

CAUTION: To the faint hearted....Do Not Read The Next Paragraph.

We followed the noise and there, in a mousetrap, was a MOLE. Of course it was not dead...but poor was wounded quite terribly. You would think that a firefighter, who has seen people in worse condition than this mole, would have no problems but I almost freaked! This mole had to be put out of his misery and it had to happen fast! I called JM to come and get it, take it as far away from the house as possible, lay it on the ground, and then I told him to get a very large brick or cinderblock...quickly! I told him what to do....and the screaming stopped (may the mole rest in peace). While I was telling him what to do, I couldn't help think of all those stories of how serial killers start out by killing small animals. Well, I knew he wasn't doing this for fun but I had to say a sentence I never imagined hearing myself say, especially to one of my children....."Kill it, BUT DON"T ENJOY IT!" He looked at me like I was crazy. he's probably where did I hide that bottle of wine? Oh, and a note on that to ET...this wasn't to make you embarrassed...Most people end up having a mouse in the house at one time or's just a fact of life....a mole is in the mouse family...sort of...right?

OK, we got through that.

The boys ask me to play hide and seek...not the 12 year old.....the 17 year olds!
For some reason that has become like a tradition when we stay here.
I'm not up to it now, but promise I will later.

What can we do now? For Fun? Something oriented.....wholesome...challenging......Something that all of us will enjoy.....something memory making......what can we do?

I KNOW!!!!!

To be continued...............

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

TVs, Computers, and Cells...oh my ...PART 2

I see that 3 faithful readers have commented. The rest of you will need to read the previous post before you read this one for it to make sense. Well, to make as much sense as I normally do anyway.

Where were we.....

Oh yeah, I was on the phone with Chatty Kelly while house sitting for my other sister ET. (for those of you who are too lazy to go back and read the previous post, I am writing a recap of the first 24 hours spent housesitting and/or on our mini vacation.)---really, it would be much easier if you just go back one post and read that before you read this one. Go ahead......I'll wait here for you.....dum dum di dum dum dum (that is me humming while I'm waiting for you to catch up and read the last post.) All done? ok.....

I'm on the phone with Chatty Kelly and I hear....
"Mom, do you know where they keep the toilet plunger?"
I hang up with Kelly and warily walk down the stairs.
"False alarm mom, the second flush did the job."

We take a few moments to talk about the importance of sometimes needing to flush in the middle of your business. (Sorry about being kind of gross. But, those of you with kids have probably been there, done that.)

OK, I call ET's husband and leave a message on his cell so we can figure out how to watch tv and get on the computer. Alberquando has most of it figured out....he's my 12 year old computer prodigy. But we still have questions.

He calls---computers and tv all working fine now----after he walks us through it. (us, meaning Alberquando).

At this point we have been here all of about 2 hours.

"Mom, I'm bored."
I say go for a walk.

While they are out walking I scavenge throughout the house and hide any open bottles of alcohol that I may, I'm not ready for a drinking binge.....yet. But, there are 2 17 year old boys here all week and even though I like to think that my angel and his friend would NEVER EVER indulge.....I need to be realistic. Why leave temptation right there in the open....just calling their, maybe I'll need a drink before the week (day) is over. Oh, and don't think ET has hundreds of liquor and beer bottles all over the place. Just a few. What I don't hide, I count.

They are back from their walk. Big boys are watching tv and Alberquando is on computer. I'm STILL unpacking. Alberquando calls me to come downstairs. He hears something. I hear it too. There is this very high pitching screaming sound! It wasn't a human sound but it wasn't an electronic sound either. It also wasn't the tv or the computer. It sounded like something that was alive!!

To be continued.................

Monday, August 18, 2008

Tvs, Computers, and Cells....oh my

Heidi Heidi Heidi Ho
( heidi heidi heidi ho)

Heidi Heidi Heidi Hey
( heidi heidi heidi hey)

Ok that's out of my system.

We (Alberquando, JM, JM's friend HJ, and I) are spending the week house/dog sitting for my sister, ET. It is only about 45 minutes away from our house but it is still like a mini vacation.

We arrived Saturday afternoon and will stay until this coming Saturday.

Here is a recap of the first 24 hrs we were here. (as you are reading this, remember that ET will be reading this too. wonder if she'll ever ask us if we want to house sit again?)

First of all, of course I overpacked. But you just never know when you might need......

We arrived at destination. I tell the boys to unpack the car while I take the cooler in and put things in refridge. I check on their progress. They each had brought in their own bag (only) and even those hadn't made it upstairs. They were sacked out on the sofa like they had been working for hours.

Finally car is unpacked. I'm trying to put things in order.

"Mom, call ET. I can't get the tv to work."
"Mom, call ET, I can't get the computer to work"
"Mom, where's......."
etc etc etc

ET's husband is a computer genius. TV's and computers here are so high-tech that there are always multiple "How do we..." phone calls to him whenever we stay here.

Can't remember his cell number.
It should be in my cell.
Oops, my cell died, got a new one, haven't programmed people's numbers in it yet.
Look around can't find number.
Call my house to get cell number from He's Not AHDH He.
No answer.
Call Chatty Kelly.
Get cell number from her.
Get sidetracked talking to her.
30 minutes later still talking to Chatty Kelly on phone when I hear "Mom, Do you know where they keep the toilet plunger?"

To Be Continued..............

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I am a Chauffeur, Again

You know, as a parent we get used to being a chauffeur. (now why do you automatically assume that I used my dictionary to spell chauffeur? I mean geez, I JUST started this post and already you think I can't spell? I guess you think I wrote 10 versions of the word trying to get it right. ....ok, you're right. You'd be amazed how many ways a person could try to spell chauffeur and STILL not get it right!) Say the word...Show-fer. Now obviously that's not correct but whoever decided to choose chauffeur as the spelling was just plain cruel (and yes, Sue J, I 'm sure there is a logical reason). The way it is spelled looks like you would pronounce it Chaw-fee-your.

Losing Focus....Monkey's are funny.

You know, as a parent we get used to being a chauffeur. It comes with the territory. Then, when your child reaches that magical age and gets their driver's permit, all of the sudden there is a huge decrease of time you spend in the car. As I have said, it is scary watching them drive away but over time, without even realizing it, you begin to enjoy it. It's also convenient if you need milk or something while you're in the middle of fixing dinner and they can run out and get it for you. If they want to go to a friends house or have a friend problem, off they go. Also you notice that your gas tank isn't running on empty so often.

THEN EVERYTHING CHANGES. I believe I called them the driving "mishaps". Such as my posts STEP AWAY FROM THE CAR and STEP AWAY FROM THE CAR...AGAIN.

(There it was, my perfect chance to try to make it so you could easily link from this post to the one I'm referring to. Chatty Kelly came over, she showed me how to do it, we practiced, I took notes, I FOUND my notes.....IT'S NOT WORKING!!! I can't figure it out. Well, you all just read those other posts anyway.....and Chatty Kelly "I guess I broke my fishing need to teach me how to fish AGAIN!"---please)

monkey's are funny, monkey's are funny

Well, I got spoiled. I am a chauffeur again. I especially loved this one, "Mom, can you pick me up from Travis's house?" ("Sure" I say and drive to Travis's). "Hi mom, can you take me home, take me to work and then take HJ to his house?" (HJ, by the way, is climbing in the car as he is speaking). AND THEN THE KICKER "oh, and mom, after I get off of work (10:00PM & I have to pick him up) since you'll be out anyway, can we go back to HJ's house and pick him up so he can spend the night at our house?" "And oh yeah, I love you mom." (lucky save on his part).

I compromised. HJ came with us, we took JM to work at 4:00. HJ went to the grocery store and post office with me (he was probably miserable...hee hee), then HJ came home with us (Alberquando and I) and spent the evening at our house. I told him to make himself at home (he's here pretty often anyway). He could watch tv, get on the computer, play video games, play the guitar or hang out it JM's room. He was fine. He relaxed. But he was SO glad when it was time for JM to be home.

One of the definitions of the word "Chauffeur" is "A person employed to drive a car or limousine that transports PAYING passengers". It's time to get tough.

"Who going to pay for the gas?"

Monday, August 11, 2008

Step Away From the Car....Again

Hello. I'm back. As you can tell from my last post, I learned how to insert pictures, use different colors for text, and I also learned to link (haven't done that on my blog yet). Chatty Kelly came over last week and taught me a few things. I took notes while she was here....I can almost read them. Hope I remember how to do it.

The color changing is easy! I can do that!!

Unfortunately, as you can tell, I can't figure out how to arrange the pictures where I want them to be. Chatty Kelly isn't home now but I'll have to call her later.

Anyway, even more unfortunately, as you may have guessed from the pictures, I need to continue from a previous blog that I was hoping I had completed for a while.

Step Away From The Car....and find a new means of transportation. Now where were we? Ok we were at #8.

#8. JM is at home asleep (that is's only 1:00pm) I go outside. hhmmm. Didn't his car used to have 2 rear lights? When He wakes up I ask about it. JM? "Oh yeah, I was backing out from Sam's house and there is a shelf that sticks out from his shed. I backed into it." Well, he can't drive it like that. He'll get pulled over and get a ticket. He says the man at the auto parts store said he can temporarily put red tape over it and drive it legally. It won't pass inspection but he won't get a ticket. I suppose that if
Waffle House can hire paramedics, then Advanced Auto can hire law enforcement officials. He assures me he'll get it taken care of.

#9. Phone rings....same day. (this was all last Friday). "Mom, do we have insurance?" I sigh and say "JM, auto insurance won't cover a tail light." P-A-U-S-E . "JM, were you in an accident?" JM "Mom, everybody is ok. The police needs to know what insurance we have." (sigh) .

Well, before I go any further, please say a thank you prayer for me because this car does not look like everyone walked away without injury. But they did, and for that I am VERY grateful. JM has a guardian angel on his shoulder and he doesn't even realize it.

So, back to the story. He tells me the story. He stopped at the stop sign. Looked. Saw no one. And proceeded thru the intersection. He was t-boned by another car (he hadn't seen her). It appears that she may have been trying to stop (She probably saw them ) but her speed limit was either 45 or 55 mph (which means she was probably going between 60-75 mph) and I don't think she had time to slow down very much. She slammed into the side of his car. There were 5 teenagers in his car. She hit the passenger side and I still get woozy when I think about what could have happened. As a firefighter, I see this kind of thing quite often and usually when the vehicle looks like this, someone is going to the emergency room. They WERE wearing their seatbelts! If they had not have been wearing them, then at LEAST one of them would probably have been ejected from the car. Everyone was for the 2 vehicles....that's another story.

Of course I immediately went to the scene after he called me. He had told me I didn't need to, that he could find a ride.......oh yeah.....right....I'll just stay home and continue cooking dinner. I was there in 15 minutes.

The police officer was terrific. He could have been otherwise. After all, an old car full of 5 teenagers VRS a nice (well, it used to be nice) 2008 Jeep Something SUV driven by a woman who was perhaps in her 60's. The officer said he felt sorry for JM. He believed JM stopped and looked. He just didn't see her coming. JM said she was flying over the speed limit. Maybe she was...maybe she wasn't. You really can't prove that unless Gil Grissom was there with his CSI crew. They would have come but were busy with a case in Las Vegas. Something to do with a serial killer, an adopted kid and a district attorney. ANYWAY... The kids were all shaken up. The woman continued to scream about her "beautiful car"..... I didn't think it looked that beautiful....the whole front end was crashed in and the airbags were deployed. Does that sound beautiful to you?

Of course the bottom line is.....JM got a ticket for Failure to Yield to The Right Away Of Approaching Traffic From A Stop Sign. And yes, I know that it was his fault. But I am still so sorry for him. He's had a tough first year of driving. Some of his mishaps could have been avoided and some of them couldn't have been. But even when they were his fault he felt SO MUCH remorse (you know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you have an accident, or a flat tire, or even just do something without using good judgement.) He's had his share of mishaps but I'm just SO grateful for that angel on his shoulder that kept protecting him and any others involved.

Never-the-Less, his car only had Liability insurance (speaking of insurance, it almost doubled when we added him to the policy, I can only guess how much it will be now). Therefore, our insurance will cover the other car and if there had been injuries it would have covered them.......but our beloved 1991 Nissan Sentra with 163,113.4 miles...may she rest in peace.......

The picture taken from the driver's side is what she looked like normally. The others are from the accident. And the one from the back is where he had put the red tape over the light earlier that day. (which, by the way, had nothing to do with the accident).

P.S. I drove it for almost 16 years.
He drove it for 13 months.

Saturday, August 9, 2008



Day to Day Doldrums Driving You CRAZY???

Staring at Your Computer With Glazed, Bored Eyes?????

Your Endurance Is About To Be Rewarded!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your patience will reap its well deserved benefits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Coming Soon To A Computer Near You!!!!!

Monday, August 4, 2008

I'll Be Back

About 5 or 6 times a year I spend a lot of time posting items on ebay. After I submit all my auctions, they run for a week, then I wait on payments, box up the sales and mail them off. All together each session probably takes about a month (at least). It is very time consuming (remember my typing skills---aka lack of). So it keeps me busy (and productive!!) . It also takes me a while to get everything posted, especially clothing since I have to measure each piece--arm inseams, leg inseams, lengths, widths, waists, etc. Then I have to type in each piece individually (including material content, size, condition, and brief description). It's very time consuming but the payoff is usually quite substantial.

ANYWAY, It's time to get started on that. For about a week, I'll be spending most of my available time working on it. SO, I have decided that I won't be blogging while I am posting my auctions, otherwise I'll get sidetracked and never get it done. NO WAIT! Don't go away. It has taken me all summer to get my 6-8 faithful followers, (plus of course the 90-100 followers that my #1 Fan keeps trying to send away).

I'll be back in about a week. We'll just pretend I'm on vacation. Remember vacations? They are those things that people go on to get away from home and "relax". We usually go to Cherry Grove South Carolina once a year but things didn't work out this year so we weren't able to go. Hopefully next year....

Also, We will be going away in August for a week to house/dog sit for my sister E while she goes away with her family. It's only about 45 minutes away and we do it once or twice a year. We kind of make it into a mini vacation and try to do fun stuff while we're there and actually we look forward to know...a break from the norm. But, it isn't Cherry Grove, South best thing. Also when we go there, they have a computer (actually I think they have 6 computers) so I'll still be able to do my computer stuff including blogging. (whew, I bet you were worried that was going to mean another week of no new posts from me...don't worry). Anyway, that won't be until the end of the August. And to all you stalkers that are just waiting to hear when people are going away on trips so you can break into their homes, please be advised that He's Not ADHD He will still be here....better luck next time.

SO, back to my original thought....(wow, I made it back). After today, I'll be gone from here for about a week. I'll take a few breaks to still check out all of your blogs but just won't be doing any of my own. You better come back and read my blog when I'm back! I MEAN IT!! I'll be crushed without you. Please, please stop crying. It will only be about a week.


So Long
I'll even say good-bye.
I hate
To leave
And miss this pretty site.
(All together now..)
Good Bye..................................................

(I'll be Back!) aka Arnold

Friday, August 1, 2008

Another Message From the MSS


We interrupt this blog for another important message from The MSS (The National Mom's Surviving Summer Service).

Please be informed that there are now 32 days til school starts.

Come on. Hang in there. I know you can make it. We're over half way there.


We can do it!

This ends this public service message from The MSS.
Thank you.