Friday, October 30, 2009

Post #300. Dig That Snappy Title!!!

Well, re: the Tuesday post, if you have to explain it....hhmmmm, I was going to write if you have to explain it, then it won't be funny. But when I didn't explain it you STILL didn't get the humor.
OK, we'll mark that one up to a dud. What do you expect when I only had a week to decide....hhmmm....bad excuse.

SO....before I start off here, I need to say thank you for the phone call (which I sadly have not returned) to Edie. Emails, phone calls, pretty much any human contact....well, it's hard to deflect when you have contact.....MAYBE, just MAYBE deflection isn't the answer. Hhhmmm. I'll have to think about that.

Anyway, yes, I haven't been around the blog world lately. I wanted to. REALLY. You see, remember that time I was washing my hair by leaning over the bathtub and it got caught in the drain and I almost drown? Well, that didn't happen again.

Remember that time that I was attacked by a June Bug and it got lost in my hair and thoroughly traumatized me? Well, that didn't happen again either.

How about this, remember when I was house sitting and there was a mole caught in the homeowners trap and it was half dead and screaming and I had to get JM to kill it. (blech). OK, that didn't happen again either.

You see, there I was, sitting at the computer all ready to write this incredibly funny (or even half way light hearted, post and absolutely nothing came. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!

I even went and washed my hair over the bathtub and tried to get it tangled in the drain just so I could write about it. That darn new conditioner works too good, er too well, or is it good? I always get mixed up on those things. I just asked JM. He said it should be "working well". ANYWAY, even Roseanne Rosanna Danna couldn't have gotten her hair tangled if she had been using it.

I went outside with the sweet smelling conditioner in my hair to lure the June Bugs....well, this is October....nuff said about that!

SO, I came back and sat down and thought and thought. Then I went in the other room and sat in the rocking chair. I rocked and I rocked. As I rocked I began to sing....
I'll love you forever.
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be....

We are NOT going back THERE again.

Anyway, the reason I've been gone is really quite simple. It really was no miracle what happened was just this. The wind began to swich, the house to pitch. And suddenly the hinges started to unhitch. Just then, the witch, to satisfy an itch, went flying on her broom stick thumbing for a hitch.

Hhmmmm....maybe I'm not quite ready to be back here. WAIT, yes I am. This post was written in my true ADHD form after all.

Now where were we?

Oh yeah, now I need to come visit you all. SOON...VERY VERY SOON!!
Yes, it has been a while.

SO, I'm off...yeah I already knew that!

Have a great day!

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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Groundhog Day? Today is Tuesday. You Know What That Means.

Now how can today be Tuesday?
According to my blog, yesterday was Tuesday.

Accountability--Something you get when you have a weekly post with the day of the week written on it.

I think I'm doing a little better. I have a post in mind that I keep meaning to write but haven't gotten around to doing. It has the "real" reason I haven't been around lately.

"Real"--A Euphemism for the incredible story I will make up to explain why I've been gone.

Deflection--A reason for the Euphemism.

SO, Today (once again) is Tuesday.
Since we all know what that means.
We're gonna have a special guest!

Today's special guest has one and only one purpose.
That purpose is to make you laugh.
It is only about 10 seconds long.
You MUST watch it 3 or more times.

Must-- A word that means I hope you do because obviously I can't make you do it from here.

Anyway, the first time you watch it, you will probably just sit there with a befuddled look on your face. The second time, you may smirk at it, but the third time it will make you laugh out loud, (well, YOU meaning ME, because I couldn't help but laugh).

SO, in the words of NIKE, "Just Do It"

Have a great day!

P.S. To those of you (and you know who you are), for thoughts, words,prayers, and Dr Seuss quotes...Thank you. Really.

And now, per Alberquando's request, The Haitian Weather Man...

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Today Is Tuesday. You Know What That Means...

Today is Tuesday (ok, it is an almost halfway over Tuesday....but it is still Tuesday.
You know what that means.
We're gonna have a Special Guest!!



Monday, October 19, 2009

Welcome to Virginia

Yesterday Alberquando told me that this year his chorus class is going to do a Christmas concert at The Bass Pro Shop.

I wonder if Jeff Foxworthy pays rolalties.....
"You know you're a redneck when your child's chorus class sings their Christmas concert at The Bass Pro Shop".

(slowly getting back into the steps.......Yes, 2Thinks, I remember Bob.)


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Something to Ponder

Yes, I know I'm a little behind on my posts.
On the other hand, better that, than to be a big behind on my posts.


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Today Is Wednesday. You Know What That means...

Today is Wednesday.
You know what that means.

It means tomorrow is Thursday.


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Today is Tuesday. You Know What that means...

Today is Tuesday.
You know what that means.

It means that it is 12:25 AM on Tueday morning. I really don't have any one or any thing in mind. But I better hurry up.
Do you ever have those day when you think something along the fact of, Today is Tueday....SO What.

OK, I'm not in a great mood today. I think I need to find a "feel Good " special guest.
I'll see what I can do.

In the is a picture of the type of dress that I wore at Mr Dunderbaks. Remember it was about 2-3 inches longer and also remember I was about 17 or 18 years old at the time..


OK, here is today's Special Guest. You need to go to the link. It will take you to Google.. Type in "Find Chuck Norris" and DO NOT SELECT Google Search, instead select I'M FEELING LUCKY.


OK, That's today's special guest .


Saturday, October 10, 2009

And the Truth Is........

Finally, the moment you've all been waiting for.......
I'm sure you all had trouble sleeping last night due to the extreme anticipation of finding out what the results would be. I must add that this was a fun post for me to write. I got it from Pam at A&OX4. She says she's going to be doing another one soon so we'll get to do this again...YEA!!
(aren't you thrilled?).


ANIMAL PLANET.......#2 is the Lie. I DO NOT have a monkey in my house. However, to be honest (and you know I must be), after I wrote this and read a few comments that were left, I thought of the stuffed monkey that LEA at The Shabby Potting Shed sent me one day, so there really is a monkey in the house, just not real. I've never been a huge animal person but with 2 boys I had to have a dog and over the summer I came home after spending a week at ET's house and my 18 year old had acquired a pet scorpion while I was away...yuck.

EMERGENCY ROOM........#1 is the lie. The only truth in the grocery store story was that I do latch my purse in the seat belt as an extra precaution.

TAKE THIS JOB........#3 is the lie. However, had I applied for the SWAT team, it probably would have happened that way.
Edie-I think you're right. Alberquando filled me in that SWAT uses a different kind of
artillery. (how does he know that??)
Beverly Yoo Hoo- Yep, that was me in that barmaid outfit. I was about 17 or 18 years old.
A&OX4- I saw that episode of The 70's Show. That is the one and only thing that I have in
common with Jackie!!

And that's the way it is...... Saturday, October 10th, 2009.

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Thursday, October 8, 2009

Two Truths and a Lie

Good Morning. Pam at A&OX4 (Alert & Oriented X 4) played this at her blog. Looks like fun, so here goes.

There are 3 subjects. Under each subject I will write 2 truths and 1 lie.

Can you figure out which is the lie?


1. There is a DOG in my house.
2. There is a MONKEY in my house.
3. There is a SCORPION in my house.

EMERGENCY ROOM...and other injuries

1. I was at the grocery store. I always put my purse in the front compartment. Even though I keep my hand on it, I also hook it in with the child safety belt to be extra sure no one can just grab it quickly and run. This kid, who didn't notice it was hooked in, grabbed it and ran. Of course the purse wasn't the only thing to go with him. As he dragged the cart behind him while he was running with my purse, he tripped and fell, (pulling the cart on top of himself). Guess who the EMT was that helped set his broken ankle while we waited for the rescue squad AND the police. Ha, What comes around, goes around! He cried like a baby. (My trained sympathy mode must have been on vacation that day!)

2.We went to a friends house and they have a pit bull (yuck). They keep it in a cage whenever company comes over, but they weren't expecting us so they had it loose in the house. As soon as we walked in, it lunged at Alberquando (barking and snarling) aiming right for his stomach. I was behind Alberquando, I wrapped my leg around him to protect his stomach and threw the two of us backwards (which happened to end up throwing us down 4 steps onto a concrete garage floor). The animal's teeth landed in my calf. It took 2 grown men to get it to get it to release its teeth. It took 12 stitches to get my leg to stop bleeding. Alberquando was fine.

3. I was up in a deserted barn with some friends many many many years ago, (high school). There was an old bee hive up there. It was about 5 or 6 of us. One of them started hitting a bee hive with a stick. I told him to stop. He laughed and said it was old and there were no bees. A few seconds later there were 5 or 6 stupid teenagers jumping out of the second story hayloft. All together there were 2 sprained ankles, a broken arm, and 4 bee stings. Mine was the sprained ankle. Teenagers can be so dumb!

TAKE THIS JOB AND....well, you know...

1. I used to work in a little shop called Mr Dunderbox. It was a small restaurant (deli style). They also sold sausages, cheese and wine. My job was to dress up like a bar maiden and stand out front handing out free samples of homemade Champagne Cheddar Cheese. The outfit was a red and white bar maid out fit with puffy sleeves, black criss cross strings across a pretty tight bodice and a flouncy short skirt. Add the white knee socks and black flats and well, the cheese did always sell out. haha

2. I used to be the Customer Service Mgr for a furniture chain. My office was in a very large building that was half corporate headquarters and half furniture warehouse. Once a customer got very angry with me. He had come to pick up his furniture and a piece was damaged. He started to cuss me out as I tried to reason with him. I really thought he was going to hit me. I still was trying to explain to him that I could get the replacement out the next day and we would deliver it. Finally, I lost my cool and yelled back at him that if he didn't cool down, I was going to call the police AND just give him his money back because I wasn't there to take that kind of abuse. So there I stood in all my 20 -22 years of age, hands on hips, looking like I wanted to kick his butt. he suddenly changed his entire attitude, apologized, and accepted my offer. Let me tell you, I was pretty darn impressed with myself for being so tough. Yep, I was cool. Then I turned around to go back into my office, and there, leaning against the vending machine were 4 VERY large warehouse workers. They never had to say a word. They had heard the commotion, walked out and just stood there looking at the man. THAT is why he backed down. OK, Maybe I wasn't so tough after all, but I had friends in all the right places!

3. Before I joined the fire dept, I had decided to try to join our county SWAT team. (I know, sounds weird, but if you know me, then you probably aren't surprised). I went through the physical (VERY physical) training. Filled out NUMEROUS applications. Went back for NUMEROUS interviews. It was actually more intense and more physical than the fire dept. But, you know me, I LOVED every second of it. I even loved the uniform. It was actually fun running those obstacle courses, dressed sometimes in fatigues, sometimes all in black and sometimes wearing (what felt like) all body armor. Not to mention staying in contact with my team with a walkie talkie. Oh, and of course the gun NEVER leaves your hands, (we trained with something similar to a paint ball gun). The adrenalin was more intense than anything I have ever experienced. After all, not only was it an obstacle course, but you never knew if the "dirt bag" was behind the next corner, just waiting to shoot you. (and yes, I got shot quite often). HOWEVER, I ALSO made it through, got my bad guy ands finished WITHOUT getting shot on quite a few occasions. I passed the background checks, I passed the physical tests, I passed the written tests, and believe it or not, I even passed the mental tests. EXCEPT for one small thing (well, probably not so small). I was told that although I had the passion for the job, they were concerned I actually had too much passion. It was determined that I might not have the self discipline that was necessary once a criminal (dirt bag) was apprehended. For instance, if there was a hostage situation, child abuse, spouse abuse etc situation, the captain was concerned that I would shoot (or cause bodily harm) to the perp when there was the chance to apprehend him/her without deadly force. (He was probably right).*sigh* I yam what I yam.


OK, each of the 3 sections has 2 truths and 1 that is a lie. As I re-read it, it seems pretty simple to me....oh yeah, I was there.

I'll post my answers on Saturday.

Have a great day!

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Today is Tuesday. You Know What That Means..

Today is Tuesday.
You know what that means.
We're Gonna Have a Special Guest!

Don't you all wish you had one of these in your house!



Monday, October 5, 2009

A First Time For Everything

I have absolutely nothing to say.