Thursday, October 8, 2009

Two Truths and a Lie

Good Morning. Pam at A&OX4 (Alert & Oriented X 4) played this at her blog. Looks like fun, so here goes.

There are 3 subjects. Under each subject I will write 2 truths and 1 lie.

Can you figure out which is the lie?


1. There is a DOG in my house.
2. There is a MONKEY in my house.
3. There is a SCORPION in my house.

EMERGENCY ROOM...and other injuries

1. I was at the grocery store. I always put my purse in the front compartment. Even though I keep my hand on it, I also hook it in with the child safety belt to be extra sure no one can just grab it quickly and run. This kid, who didn't notice it was hooked in, grabbed it and ran. Of course the purse wasn't the only thing to go with him. As he dragged the cart behind him while he was running with my purse, he tripped and fell, (pulling the cart on top of himself). Guess who the EMT was that helped set his broken ankle while we waited for the rescue squad AND the police. Ha, What comes around, goes around! He cried like a baby. (My trained sympathy mode must have been on vacation that day!)

2.We went to a friends house and they have a pit bull (yuck). They keep it in a cage whenever company comes over, but they weren't expecting us so they had it loose in the house. As soon as we walked in, it lunged at Alberquando (barking and snarling) aiming right for his stomach. I was behind Alberquando, I wrapped my leg around him to protect his stomach and threw the two of us backwards (which happened to end up throwing us down 4 steps onto a concrete garage floor). The animal's teeth landed in my calf. It took 2 grown men to get it to get it to release its teeth. It took 12 stitches to get my leg to stop bleeding. Alberquando was fine.

3. I was up in a deserted barn with some friends many many many years ago, (high school). There was an old bee hive up there. It was about 5 or 6 of us. One of them started hitting a bee hive with a stick. I told him to stop. He laughed and said it was old and there were no bees. A few seconds later there were 5 or 6 stupid teenagers jumping out of the second story hayloft. All together there were 2 sprained ankles, a broken arm, and 4 bee stings. Mine was the sprained ankle. Teenagers can be so dumb!

TAKE THIS JOB AND....well, you know...

1. I used to work in a little shop called Mr Dunderbox. It was a small restaurant (deli style). They also sold sausages, cheese and wine. My job was to dress up like a bar maiden and stand out front handing out free samples of homemade Champagne Cheddar Cheese. The outfit was a red and white bar maid out fit with puffy sleeves, black criss cross strings across a pretty tight bodice and a flouncy short skirt. Add the white knee socks and black flats and well, the cheese did always sell out. haha

2. I used to be the Customer Service Mgr for a furniture chain. My office was in a very large building that was half corporate headquarters and half furniture warehouse. Once a customer got very angry with me. He had come to pick up his furniture and a piece was damaged. He started to cuss me out as I tried to reason with him. I really thought he was going to hit me. I still was trying to explain to him that I could get the replacement out the next day and we would deliver it. Finally, I lost my cool and yelled back at him that if he didn't cool down, I was going to call the police AND just give him his money back because I wasn't there to take that kind of abuse. So there I stood in all my 20 -22 years of age, hands on hips, looking like I wanted to kick his butt. he suddenly changed his entire attitude, apologized, and accepted my offer. Let me tell you, I was pretty darn impressed with myself for being so tough. Yep, I was cool. Then I turned around to go back into my office, and there, leaning against the vending machine were 4 VERY large warehouse workers. They never had to say a word. They had heard the commotion, walked out and just stood there looking at the man. THAT is why he backed down. OK, Maybe I wasn't so tough after all, but I had friends in all the right places!

3. Before I joined the fire dept, I had decided to try to join our county SWAT team. (I know, sounds weird, but if you know me, then you probably aren't surprised). I went through the physical (VERY physical) training. Filled out NUMEROUS applications. Went back for NUMEROUS interviews. It was actually more intense and more physical than the fire dept. But, you know me, I LOVED every second of it. I even loved the uniform. It was actually fun running those obstacle courses, dressed sometimes in fatigues, sometimes all in black and sometimes wearing (what felt like) all body armor. Not to mention staying in contact with my team with a walkie talkie. Oh, and of course the gun NEVER leaves your hands, (we trained with something similar to a paint ball gun). The adrenalin was more intense than anything I have ever experienced. After all, not only was it an obstacle course, but you never knew if the "dirt bag" was behind the next corner, just waiting to shoot you. (and yes, I got shot quite often). HOWEVER, I ALSO made it through, got my bad guy ands finished WITHOUT getting shot on quite a few occasions. I passed the background checks, I passed the physical tests, I passed the written tests, and believe it or not, I even passed the mental tests. EXCEPT for one small thing (well, probably not so small). I was told that although I had the passion for the job, they were concerned I actually had too much passion. It was determined that I might not have the self discipline that was necessary once a criminal (dirt bag) was apprehended. For instance, if there was a hostage situation, child abuse, spouse abuse etc situation, the captain was concerned that I would shoot (or cause bodily harm) to the perp when there was the chance to apprehend him/her without deadly force. (He was probably right).*sigh* I yam what I yam.


OK, each of the 3 sections has 2 truths and 1 that is a lie. As I re-read it, it seems pretty simple to me....oh yeah, I was there.

I'll post my answers on Saturday.

Have a great day!

<span class=MyADHDMe" border="0">


Beverlydru said...

This is a FUN post!
1. I don't think you have a dog. You're the monkey and I found a scorpion in my sheets that had just been stripped off my bed last week and that freaked me out so that's plausible.
2. The grocery store story is well-written - but I narrowed it down to this and the pit bull story- I think you made up the grocery store incident.
3. No way can I see you handing out cheese in a little skimpy skirt. Nope.

Jenny wren's nest said...

You are going to make me wait till Saturday, I'm gullible I believe them all.

Kelly Combs said...

I'm not going to play because I already know all the answers...I grew up with you and live 5 minutes away.

I will say the story I wish you told under emergency room was the fire house story, where you had to get stitches. Everyone would have thought you made it up because it is so funny.

samurai said...

Umm... you are too good at this for me... i could never be a detective...

My ADHD Me said...

Kelly..I'll write about that story soon. I thought it was too obvious on that one because, if you think about it, it sounds just like me,

P.S. Good thing I'm not a liar anymore. Looks like the skill might still be there, eh?

Greg C said...

I do think you have a monkey in your house. It's on your back. :)

2Thinks said...

You are too clever for me. I need more time to think it out.

I have a monkey in my house, as of today. It's on the birthday card Fash gave me. Heeheee.

I know you are the monkey. I know that one.

Irritable Mother said...

OK, I don't think you have a monkey in your house. I have no idea about the other two, but I sure had fun reading them!

KrippledWarrior said...

Scorpions are not indigenous to Virginia. So if you have one it's a pet. I'm too gullible. I believe every thing a pretty girl tells me. I went through a similar interview when getting into the NUC-Weapons program. They asked "If you received the launch order, would you hesitate?"
I responded "Show me where the button is, and I'll push it right now." I got in and the world was a safer place for it.

My ADHD Me said...

Oh come on! You all can do better than this!

Pam from alertandorientedx4 said...

Animal Planet: #1 is the never said REAL monkey. And maybe scorpions are a mascot or something? I had a real one in acrylic in this weird paperweight thing when I was about 7. Had to have it as a souvenir from some Stuckey's someplace. So. You DON'T have a dog

ER: #3 is the lie. I don't know why. Just seem concocted. And I could totally see myself flinging an appendage around one of my kids to entice an enraged animal to bite me instead of them. And the shopping cart thing? I could see it.

Job: #1. I saw that episode of That 70's Show. You, my friend are no Jackie. I think I channel Donna sometimes. I totally had most of her wardrobe.

Thanks for playing! I'm doing it again next week, so stop on by!

Sue J. said...

Gotta agree with Pam, except that you don't have a monkey. They might be funny, but you don't have one (unless you're trying to look like one for a 2nd Cup of Coffee music video).

Edie said...

I like this! I will post my answers before I go read what everyone else said. It's really hard with Beverly staring at me like that. :)

Animal - 1 is the untruth. (Lie is such a harsh word to use about you.) :) No wait, maybe it's 3. I was going to go back and see if you mentioned a dog in one of your emails but there were too many! So my answer is 1 or 3 is the untruth.

ER - 2 is the untruth.

Job - 3 is the untruth. My cop friend tried out for the SWAT Team. He wasn't armed with a paint gun but maybe it's different in VA. :)

Edie said...

I just read KC's comment and now I want to hear that story so gear it up for your next post please. After you give us the answers of course. :)

Sue J. said...

I'm sure this was an extremely difficult post to write, given your penchant for not lying....any more....

Tomorrow's Saturday; you know what that means!

Kelly Combs said...

Your blog is wacked out. You need to contact Edie.

Edie said...

Your blog is not whacked out anymore. I have discovered that you have to login to photobucket periodically (about every 3 months) or they consider you inactive. Email me.

Happy Saturday!

Edie said...

Maybe the SWAT test did use paint guns after all. I could totally see you doing that. I just didn't think you did.

Lea said...

I soooo enjoyed this.
I knew you had a monkey. lol
But man am I stumped on thee other.
SURELY you WOULDNT wear an outfit like that WOULD YOU????????