Saturday, August 15, 2009

15 Minutes of Fame

Have any of you noticed that you can have can get on tv now for almost anything?

I'm one of those people that leaves my tv on most of the time when I'm home. I don't really watch it. I just like the background noise. Sometimes when it is too quiet, my thoughts go crazy (imagine that).

Well, because I've been laid up recently, I've actually "watched" more tv than usual. Things that people used to be embarrassed about are now things that people will go on tv and show the world.

The other night I couldn't sleep. I was trying to find something interesting on tv. With cable tv and 60 plus channels, you would think there would be SOMETHING interesting to watch.....NOT.

In the middle of the night, there are about 3 choices:

1. Have your credit card handy.
2. Court TV
3. Somebody's 15 Minutes of Fame Show.

Here's a Recap of those shows:

1. Have your credit card handy- Billy Mayes (RIP) was cool. So fun to watch AND he made ANYTHING look like it was something you just couldn't live without......especially if you ordered immediately because you then would get TWO, not one but TWO for the same low price of $19.99 +S&H.

BUT, if I put my bath robe on backwards, I can already feel like I have a Snuggie.

A Slap Chop would end up on the shelf in my laundry room next to my Quik Chop.

I don't believe I can lose inches in just 2 weeks by pulling on a giant rubber band.

AND I am quite sure that rubbing an oval shaped emery board over my legs will not make my legs hair free for weeks.


2. Court TV- If you ever want to sue your neighbor, friend, enemy, ex boyfriend/girlfriend, ex husband/wife, mother, father, aunt, uncle, sister, brother, daughter, son, daughter-in-law, son-in-law, mother-in-law, father-in-law, pastor, mechanic, lover, ex-lover, ex-lover's girlfriend, ex-lover's boyfriend, ex-lover's girlfriend AND boyfriend, or the random person walking down the sure to do it on tv.

You can go see Judge Judy, Judge Alex, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Hatchett, Judge Mathis, Judge Karen, Judge Jeanne Pirro, Divorce Court, Peoples Court, Open Court, and that guy that wears the cowboy hat (can't remember his name).

So what if you were dumb enough to bail them out of jail twice, buy them a new Playstation, put their rent-a-car or cell phone in your name, or send them money even though you only met them over the internet, then go ahead and sue them. Please be sure to do it on television so we can ALL hear about your bedroom and drug habits too. And PLEASE don't forget to ask for the extra money for pain, suffering and emotional distress.


3. Somebody's 15 minutes of Fame Show- This is the worst yet. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down (in one sitting) all the "15 minutes of Fame" shows that I saw on the tv guide channel.

My Super Sixteen
Sixteen and Pregnant
Maternity Ward
Bringing Home Baby
Clean House
Nanny 911
Wife Swap
World's Strictest Parents
Little People Big World
My First Place
How DO I Look?
Fat Pets
It's Me or The Dog
Extreme Makeover
My Parents House
Date My Mom
I Love New York
Cash Cab
Real Housewives of Orange County

Maybe I'll make my own show. I'll call it, "I Hurt my Back, Watched too much TV and my House is a Wreck". Then after that show runs its course, I'll go on court tv and sue Kings Dominion because I hurt my back----even though there WAS a sign posted at every ride. Just think! With all the money I win, I can then go and buy a Slap Chop. I wonder if it doesn't work, if I can sue....





Kelly Combs said...

Even the so-called "celebrities" are often more famous for going panty-less in public than for whatever thing they were originally famous for. It is SICKENING!

2Thinks said...

Thanks for reminding me why I don't watch t.v. It is weird though, because I do want a big screen with surround sound for when we rent dvd's, but I honestly miss all the current culture by not watching t.v. I just don't like anything on it. Sometimes I like American Idol and if I had cable, I would love the Food Network, but I'm too cheap to pay for cable.

I've missed you in the comment clubhouse- glad to see you back! Hope your back is 100% soon! (I knew because of Kelly's comment on your niece's page that she was related to you guys, so figured she was *safe* :) ) Love it when the youngsters get blogging! Good for them to sit and actually write, right? Right!

2Thinks said...

Oh, one more thing, I do believe I just disabled by "comment will be visible after blog owner approval" just for you. Come try it out and see if it works. They should pop right up there now. I figure I've been blogging since April and only had one *suspicious* activity so far, so I'll take the risk. Hope it's safe!

Edie said...

LOL! Now you know (in part) why I don't watch tv.

As for the Slap Chop...
Pampered Chef and Walmart both have something similar and I bought it and I love it. It really works great for chopping veggies which I hate to do cause it takes so long.

That reminds me, I need to make a salad. Time to get out my chopper. Hmmm, maybe there's a post in that. Too bad I don't have a video camera. :D

If I give you a list of all the people that need to remove the DWV would you please go have a *talk* with them? You crack me up that you can, and do convince people all over the blogosphere to change their comments section just for you.

Gotta love ya! :)

Bonita said...

Okay, I have to admit that some of those 15 minutes of fame shows are favorites with me. I guess I'm just nosey. In my defense, I did see a guy I went to high school with on one of them. His wife was delivering their third child on national TV. Now I think it's sort of my civic duty to watch those types of shows to see if I know anybody else.

My family has threatened to get me a Snuggi more than once and to be honest it looks cozy for winter, sort of like a blanket. Then again, a blanket is cozy for winter too. Hey, I wish you could see my bil's imitation of getting tangled in a Snuggi. You are the type that would really appreciate it. It's totally hilarious!

I hate that little egg thingie that is supposed to remove all the old calloused skin from heels. Gross!

No court TV for me. I do have a few TV watching standards to uphold.

I know this sounds like I'm a TV junkie, but I really only watch a few hours a week at best.

Meredith Leigh Knight said...

Great blog and so true! How about the show, "I was pregnant and didn't know it!"

Rebecca Ingram Powell said...

I love reading your stuff! You are so funny!
It's sad but true--can you imagine if there had been cable TV during Old Testament times? Noah would have had his own 24-7 channel during the building process: ARK-TV.

My ADHD Me said...


2Thinks said...

Just came back here to see if you had anyhting new and I saw Edie's post. Haa! She's right! You have power over the blogosphere and I better not be in any danger over my new freedom in commenting w/o security system or I'll get you my pretty... Haaaa haaa haa ha!

Sue J. said...

I think ARK-TV might have been one of the safer channels to watch, actually.

David and Goliath on ABC's Wide World of Sports ("Agony of defeat," Goliath....)

Jezebel's capers would have put those other housewives to shame!

Joshua's horns on PBS's "Great Performances" would be TIVO-worthy, however.

Once upon a time, around 1968 or so, someone called television "a vast wasteland." Perhaps he really was right after all.

Glad you're better...stick to white noise at night!

Greg C said...

But wait. It also works well on that unwanted chest hair. "I'll never have to shave, I'll never have to shave again, every"

Don't forget the gratie. But we can't make an offer like this all day so call now.

Do you think I watch too much TV? You got some fame on my blog today, :)

HisPrincess said...

Thank you! I really needed to smile this morning and you have delivered!

Don't forget to include Dr Phil where you can go on tv and tell the whole world what a terrible parent/husband/wife/girlfriend/mother in law/granparent you are.

One thing these shows do is make you realise that maybe you aren't doing such a bad job of raising your teenagers afterall.

Beverlydru said...

Well, at least your sense of humor is not impaired, my friend. Thanks for reminding me why we aren't missing anything for the fact that cable is not even offered where we live! ; )

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

One of my favorite posts of yours.

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