I am definitely not a paranoid person. And generally I am not a worrier. I feel it is a huge waste of time to worry about something when there is a good chance it won't even happen...and even if it does, what good did worrying do?
But I am starting to think that maybe something strange is going on. Not my typical , Whirling Dervish, strange, but I think I am on the brink of finding out about a huge conspiracy. I'm not sure if it is a local, national or worldwide conspiracy but something is definitely going on.
The conspirators are trying to make us, the conspiratees, feel like something may be wrong with ourselves. It is a very gradual thing. But after years of meticulous scientific research, I've noticed that the process usually starts when we are around the age of 37 or 38, tends to speed up sometime when we are around the age of 40 and once we pass 40 it takes off at full speed.
According to my calculations, here are a few examples.........
1."They" have changed the size of the print on everyday ordinary things. Things like directions on a can or box of food. The tv channel with the listings of upcoming television shows, even newspapers, books and magazines. Not only are "they" tampering with the size of the letters but "they" have also, somehow, been converting neatly and readable words and letters to blurry, tiny, and sometimes unreadable letters and words. Somehow "they" even got int0 my computer and have adjusted the words on it so that they sometimes are blurry also.
2. The Water! There is something in the water that makes your clothes shrink. I don't mean your typical wash it in hot water and it shrinks. Again, it is a slow and gradual thing that happens slowly as the years go by. The clothes are shrinking and shrinking. The water also must have some strange chemical in it that changes ones hair color. I was born with dark brown, almost black hair. But this chemical must have some sort of bleach in it as some of the hairs are turning a whitish or perhaps a grayish color? I just don't understand.
3." They" are using a different type of material to make mirrors. They have somehow made the mirrors so that it APPEARS as if our pores are larger than they use to be. The mirrors have secret cracks and those cracks reflect on our faces in some sort of a wrinkled look. I don't like this at all.
4. There is DEFINITELY something strange going on with the food. If we eat the same amount that we ate 10-15 years ago, somehow it doesn't metabolize the way it used to. "They" have changed our food so that it makes us gain weight much faster!
5. There is even a change in the atmosphere. Do you remember back in the days before "they" changed the atmosphere? You could stay up late, get just a few hours of sleep and then still get up at an early hour. There must be some kind of drug in the atmosphere that makes us get tired faster and require more sleep.
6. Whatever "they" have done to the atmosphere is also affecting the earths gravity....need I say more? The gravity is affecting our whole body! If you don't believe me, then I'll show you an example. Go and get a hand mirror.
Go on, get it.
For Pete's sake! (who is Pete?) Every time I ask you to go and get something or do something while you are reading my blog, you just sit there and keep reading. now PLEASE, go and get a hand mirror. I promise We'll all wait for you. Just remember that some of us have laundry to do and cannot sit here all day.
Ok, you're back? (as opposed to front?)
Now stand up and bend over at the waist so that your body is at a 90 degree angle (that would be an upside down L in this case). You should be looking at the floor. Now take the mirror and look at your face. Do you see it??? I am SURE there is something in the atmosphere affecting the gravity. There is just no other explanation!
Why are "they" doing this? Is it just my local area? Is it happening all over the United States? Has it become a Worldwide dilemma?
And Who Are "THEY"? Well, I'm glad you asked that because I believe I have stumbled on the answer to that question.
A Yahoo is (in addition to being an internet phenomenon) a race of brutish, degraded creatures subject to the Houyhnhnms and having all the vices of man. A Yahoo is also considered a vicious, coarse person.
So THAT must be who "They" are...The Hordes of Evil Yahoos.
We Must Stop Them!!