Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I am not a paranoid person...hhmmmm. We've been hearing that phrase a lot lately. Irritable Mother said it in her post I'm Not Paranoid. I just said it in my Conspiracy Theory, I'm starting to be paranoid that you are thinking I am paranoid. I'm not, you know.
I really am not paranoid (who said I was?). HOWEVER, I don't think I'm the only one who would start to wonder...hhmmm, let me start at the beginning.
I'm sure this comes as a shock to everyone out there but I do take Adderall, (a medication for ADHD). Not only do I take Adderall, but I take the highest dose allowed by the FDA. By the way, I could probably be the poster child for advocates AGAINST ADHD medication , as many people would say it obviously isn't working, but it is doing the best it can. Believe it or not...I am the calm and focused person that I am today because of this medication. Ok, reword that, it was worse before the medication. (picture the cartoon with the cat on the ceiling hanging on by his claws).
So I had a doctor. A regular Primary Care Physician can't dole out the kind of dosage on a regular basis, so I see a, um, you know, one of the doctors that specialize in, um, er, uh, "mental" problems. OK, I SEE A SHRINK!! There! Are you happy? I said it...bet you never would have guessed.
So about 10-12 years ago I start to see a well established doctor. After trial and error we finally got to the appropriate amount of medication for me. Each appointment is supposed to be 15 minutes. I was always in there at least 45 minutes. We would laugh and talk and tell each other outlandish stories, me about the fire service, him about the war, and both of us about crazy people. He wasn't my friend (you don't pay a friend to talk) but he was a cool doctor. (He had actually heard of my mother!..I think she is probably a case study for doctors). And then, All of the sudden, he has transferred away after 40 plus years at the same practice.
I find another doctor, at a different practice that is closer to home. He is SHOCKED at the amount of medication I take. He immediately tries to "heal" me. He had a completely different style. Stiff, uptight, precise and to the point,however, sometimes I WAS able to make him chuckle). He was a good doctor and there were no problems. He had been with the practice for quite a while, I'm not sure exactly how long. After 13 months he had lowered my dosage, changed my diagnosis, changed it back, put me on a different medication, raised the dosage and then he put me on a different medication that he said was as effective as the Adderall but safer. In other words, after 13 months I was exactly back where I had started, taking the same thing, just a different name.
So the time comes for my next appointment and they say he has taken a "leave of absence"! OK, here we go again. I schedule an appointment for a different doctor in that practice and they tell me they will mail me my prescriptions (it's one of those meds that cannot be called in) to keep it current until my first appointment with the new doctor.
3 days later I get prescriptions for half my dosage in the mail.
I call them and they say that are not "comfortable" writing that script in that amount before seeing me. Ok, it IS the same practice. They are the ones who cannot see me immediately. They say they will call me back. After numerous calls back and forth I end up speaking with the "executive director" (the head suit...haha...get it...head doctor...head suit...haha....I crack myself up). Anyway, he says perhaps I should go to ANOTHER practice as there is no way they are going to write a script for that much. When I question the competency of the doc I had been seeing, they "assure" me he was a great doc and they didn't doubt his methods.....they just aren't sure if he'll be back or not.
OK, BACK TO SQUARE ONE. I find ANOTHER doctor. this one looks at my history and calmly puts me BACK on the medication that I had been on from the FIRST doctor! He had been a doctor in that practice at least 15 years. I asked him if he planned on retiring or going on a leave of absence any time soon. he smiled and said he was there for the duration. Meanwhile, I'm starting to wonder if there is a little clinic out there somewhere, set aside for past doctors of MyADHDMe. Maybe a support group?
So, believe me when I tell you I'm not paranoid.....let's just see where this doctor is a year from now.
NOW, back to the contest. I am still trying to figure out what the prize will be. I have been asked to omit the options of children and pets so at least it is narrowing down. Also, CK, I will make sure it isn't anything vanilla due to the vast array of chocololics out there....see, I'm not the only one with issues. And remember, even though "I'm not paranoid" I just want to remind you that this is a small prize. It could be anything. Isn't the suspense driving you crazy? (crazy, who said I was crazy?).
Drawing will be after 2 more posts.
P.S. That picture at the top is from an old Scooby Doo cartoon. "Those darn kids!"