How Do You Recognize When God Speaks?
That is the Random Question of the week at Edie's blog.
I don't always answer her Random Questions. I'm not the "Put your Heart on a Platter For the World to See" type of person. Somehow I don't think I got that analogy right. I am too literal and when I picture my heart on a platter, well, let's just say it isn't a pretty picture. I think I better leave the analogys to Chatty Kelly.
ANYWAY, back to the question.
This is one I can answer. As a matter of fact I answered it in an email I sent to Chatty Kelly back in April, before I had ever even considered blogging. I was going through some "issues" and had sent her an email. She later asked me if she could post that email on her blog, anonymously. I had no problem with that so some of you may have already read it. I think a few of you may have recognized it as me and now that I have begun blogging, a lot of you would have recognized it as me. I believe my writing "style" (or lack of style) is a bit unique. Unique--different, individual, unexampled, lone, particular, strange, unprecedented, weird----ok, putting away the Thesaurus....again.
ANYWAY, back to the question (is there an echo in here?)
How Do You Recognize When God Speaks?
Here is the excerpt from the email I sent to Chatty Kelly;
"......I was feeling really awful the last few months. Not eating, hurting all over, no energy and just plain miserable. So very very unhappy. I went outside very early one morning (couldn't sleep). It was around 5:00AM. I was sitting on the porch and just almost reciting (to myself) over and over and over again for God to show me a sign that he was there for me and would help me. I would not shut up in my thoughts though. It was almost as if I was frantic, just saying it over and over again. I kept just asking and asking and not listening. All of the sudden it hit me that how could He answer if I didn't listen? So I just all at once said out loud "Shut Up and Listen!".
After a moment or two I gently said "God, I didn't mean for you to shut up, I meant for Me to shut up".
I SWEAR I heard him chuckle---He knows me so well.
Anyway, I closed my eyes and tried to think of nothing (a very difficult feat for me). I could hear the birds and there was a very slight very comfortable breeze blowing. The temp was perfect. I felt my feet start to relax and felt as almost they were floating. I felt my mind begin to start rushing again but quickly stopped it. Slowly that feeling in my feet worked its way up my legs. Eventually it went up my body, down my arms, up my neck and then to the top of my head. I felt like my whole body was floating. I was afraid to move. I didn't want this feeling to go away. It felt SO good! I felt RELAXED! Yes, that's right, ME! I FELT RELAXED. My brain wasn't buzzing with the millions of things, and monkeys, that are always running around in there. I felt at peace. There is absolutely NO DOUBT at all that the Holy Spirit entered me and reminded me that he's there. I just needed to shut up once in a while to hear/feel him.
I must have sat there like that for 10 minutes. Then I knew I had to get up and start breakfast and get the kids up. I stood up slowly, hating to move, but do you know what? When I went inside, although the feeling wasn't quite as peaceful as it had been, it WAS still there. I did the things I needed to do and felt relaxed while doing them. I NEVER feel relaxed. It was such a wonderful thing. It was a miracle that I needed. I was at the end of my ropes. I was hurting SO badly mentally and physically.
Yes, my back still hurt afterwards but I was able to stand up straight and not crouched over. I smiled at the kids and didn't yell "HURRY UP, HURRY UP". (I still said it, but I didn't yell it).
Well, of course over time the thoughts came rushing back and I still don't feel great, (but I do feel better). And every now and then when I remind myself to SHUT UP AND LISTEN I can feel it. It hasn't been as completely consuming as it was that one time but now that I have been reassured that he is there, I can relax just a bit and every now and then even remember to "Give it to God". (now if I could just get rid of those monkeys!!).............."
When Kelly printed this in her blog, she did leave out the part about the monkeys because it would have sounded SO very odd at the time. But, you know me now and you know about the monkeys and you also realize that if you accept me, then you accept the monkeys too. We're a package deal.
And that, my friends, is how I recognized when God spoke.