Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Lie

It was just a small lie!
It's ridiculous to make such a big deal about it.
What's the big deal?
Why are you crying????

OK, I'll back up. I grew up with lies. We were taught to lie at an early age. The biggest one was "Mom is on a vacation or out of town helping a family member". Translation, "Mom in in the psychiatric ward of the local mental hospital.....again". That was probably about once a year. Of course everyone knew..so why did we have to lie? We went to a very small Lutheran school and the church that was affiliated with it. The people that went there had known us since we were born and many knew our parents when they were young. They knew. Still....Don't tell anyone....sshhhhh.

I wish I could remember all the lies we were told or instructed to tell (or do I?). Maybe not. Actually I have close no no recollection of any of my youth or teenage years. That's probably a good thing. But lying was definitely a way of life.

Anyway, I could lie. MAN, could I lie. I was probably one of the best liars you would ever know. There wasn't anything wrong with it.....right? They weren't malicious lies. They never hurt anyone...right? Usually they were just lies of convenience. Something like, "Gee, I wish I could keep our lunch date but I need to go and do s0-and-so". or "Sorry I'm late but (insert lie) happened" or "I would LOVE to do (insert anything) but I can't because (insert lie)."

Lying isn't a big deal...right? When my youngest sister, ET got married, she lived in Florida. It was a small wedding. Just her, her husband and a few friends. Not even any family. I saw the pictures a friend of hers took. She looked beautiful. They got married at a friends house. My mom called our local church, in Virginia, and wanted to put it in the church bulletin. I don't remember exactly how it was worded but it said something like, "Mr and Mrs (blah blah blah), (etc etc etc )...at a beautiful moonlight wedding on the beach". ON THE BEACH???? MOONLIGHT???? Er, mom? Why does it say that? Her response, "Oh don't you think that sounds better?". Oh. . . . . . . . . . . . . . okay? Lies.

ANYWAY. I really really never felt bad about lying. After all, what was the big deal?

About, hhmm, I'm not sure but I'll guess it was 7 or 8 years ago, Chatty Kelly and I were in a Bible Study class together. One morning I just didn't feel like going so I called her and told her that I had to go to the dentist. I had had a lot of work done by the dentist earlier in the week. So it wouldn't sound odd that I had to go back. That way I could stay home and I wouldn't feel bad about not going. (funny thing is, I was worried about feeling bad or embarrassed in front of Kelly, when we all know who I SHOULD have been thinking about (I mean it WAS Bible study).....and of course HE knew the truth).

SO, I called her, told her I had to go back to the dentist, and as they say...That was That.
No one was hurt.
No one was disappointed.
No one was let down.
I didn't feel bad about not going.
And I really didn't feel bad about lying. After all, it was just a small lie. There's nothing wrong with a small lie....is there?

(the conclusion to this will be posted tomorrow)

9 comments:

Barb said...

I'm sittin' on the edge of my chair waiting for the 'rest of the story'. I can't do that - all my thoughts are short enough to get on one post - lol! I'll have to work on that technique...

Hey - there's a new adhd in the neighborhood...I sent her your way recently(and I see she is following you, now). Her/your writing reminds me of yours/hers.

http://amberdodd.blogspot.com/

Marla said...

Well I will be waiting for the rest of the story. We all told those kind of lies. I don't think anyone can ever say that they haven't lied.

Chatty Kelly said...

and THEN....no, wait, it's your story. I'm riveted. Can't wait to hear the rest.

Have a great day!

On Purpose said...

Waiting in anticipation for you to share your story...

Pam from alertandorientedx4 said...

Saw the title and was just sure it had to do with last night's season opener of LOST. Now I'm on pins and needles waiting for the conclusion.....

And yes, lies ALWAYS seem to come back to haunt you...or bite you, you know where...

Greg C said...

I can't wait for part two. Send me an email and tell me the rest. No one has to know. :)

My mother was and still is a liar. She is best at pretending that she doesn't know what is going on when she actually does.

Beverlydru said...

Here you are, posting on a serious subject and I have something funny to tell you. I was in my "Google Reader" and clicked on what I thought was your blog post. It was a Works for Me Weds. tip all about cleaning. I thought, "wow- this is really different than most of ADHD Me's posts! She was really in the mood to SYSTEMATICALLY clean... this is wierd." I clicked through to the site when I was ready to comment and it wasn't YOU! LOL.

This is indeed a story that I will return to finish. You do have a gift at keeping our attention. Always interesting. I'm sad about your Mom...it's a good thing you are intimately acquainted with the Redeemer and Restorer!

Irritable Mother said...

OK, I'm on the edge of my chair - right next go Barb.
Clever, Ms. ADHD. But a little mean. If "not knowing" keeps me awake tonight, I'm coming after you. *grin*

God's girl said...

Nothing like leaving everyone hanging...see me? I'm hanging from a limb in your front yard, or is it your back yard, or is it your neighbor's yard. Not really sure where I'm at, but I'm left hanging, that's for sure...

My mom was also a regular at the hospital, and unfortunately, it is a venture that I began when I was 16. Gladly at 33, I can say that I have not been a "visitor" (or "resident" for that matter) for 6 years. woohoo.

The "lying thing"??? Oh yeah, been there. God is still chiseling away at that ugly thing. My friends say I drive them nuts because I'm constantly telling them, "Hey, I have to tell you something. I was wrong...blah, blah."

The good thing is being able to "hear" God say, "Um...you sure that's how that went???" or "You aren't doing what because you're what???"

I think we have to re-evaluate things when we say, "ah...no big deal..."

Funny story: About 9 years ago, I called into work, and I had used sooooooooooo many excuses for not going to work that I had no clue what to use. So, funny me, I thought I finally got a good excuse to get me out for a few days...

..."Um, hi Carol, this is Heaven. I woke up this morning and Zach has the chicken pox...Yes, he's covered from head to toe...oh, I will be out at least a couple day...Thank you so much for understanding...Yes, I will take good care of him..."

NO JOKE, a week later, Zach got the chicken pox...

He was only 3 and guess what...Yep, he was covered from head to toe with big, red, blistery, chickenpox.

Ha! Let's just say that my conversation with my boss ended up with a unexpected unemployment...

So now, I don't use my kids...or my vehicles...or my own sickness...or a family emergency...or anything I'm not willing to deal with, because lo and behold.....

...yep, stuff actually happens. The power of our tongues...That could really be a blog post...I think I'm wandering now...must be the cold medicine...or drowsiness... or else losing blood to my brain by hanging up-side-down from your tree...or your neighbor's tree...or...where am I again????