Friday, April 17, 2009

Adventures in DMVing

Before I get started here, I want to give you a little tip. When your driver's license renewal form says be sure to renew during the month of your birthday, it actually means "be sure to renew during the month BEFORE your birthday", if you are born on the 1st day of the month. (I know, April Fools on me!). Otherwise you'll be obliviously driving around with an expired driver's license.

Do you ever get that feeling, when you step into a DMV, that "You are now entering The Twilight Zone"?

(a quick picture puzzle for your enjoyment) (do you get it?)

Anyway, I knew before I left my house that it was going to be "one of those days". First of all, I was quite proud of myself for not waiting until the las
t minute to go renew my license. But as I was talking to Chatty Kelly on the phone, I re-read the renewal form and got that feeling in the pit of my stomach that rather than going 2 weeks early, I was 2 weeks late.

So off I go to DMV. I should have known things were
n't going to go as expected when I missed my exit and had to backtrack. Oh well. After I arrived, I reached into my "bag of expressions", grabbed my Scarlet O'Hara smile, plastered it on my face and approached the counter.

"Hello, I'd like to renew my driver's license please".

The lady at the desk took my form and then, while simultaneously picking at the piece of a breakfast burrito that was stuck in her teeth, proceeded to inform me that it was expired.

"Do you have your birth certi
ficate or passport?".
Hhhmmmm, I was SURE I had brought them. I always keep them in my back pocket...just in case.
That Scarlet O'Hara smile didn't even phase her.
"I'll need to go home for that."
She didn't even look back at me....."Next!"

I rushed home. I just knew they had a policeman stationed outside to building, waiting to pull me over for driving with an expired license, but I made it without incident. Oh, yeah, It had started to rain too. I Knew exactly where my birth certificate was (HA, one of those organizing tips worked after all), and returned to DMV. Went BACK to the lady at the desk, got my number and took a seat. I was #A 48. As I sat down, they called #A 46. This was going to be a breeze.

Then they called the next number. It was #E 169. HEY, what happened to A's? Then they called #C 243 and #B 123. HHmmm, this could be a while. #C 244. THAT'S NOT FAIR. C's are mover quicker than A's!

As I looked around at the other patrons, I had the strangest feeling that I had somehow slipped out of Virginia and was sitting somewhere in the middle of Deliverance, USA.

Finally they called my number. After I somehow pulled off the eye exam, they informed me that I needed a new picture. Hey! I like my old picture. It was 8 years ago. Too bad. "Have a seat and we'll call you back for your picture". *sigh*

They called my name to take the picture. "Sit down in that chair a
nd we'll take your...FLASH...all done."

"Go wait and we'll call you when it's ready."

I really, really had to go to the ladies room by now, but I just KNEW that if I went, they would call my name. I waited and waited and finally decided I really didn't have a choice. Of course as soon as I entered the stall, I heard over the loudspeaker..."MyADHDMe, Please come to the desk"

After I returned from the ladies room, I went to the
desk, "You called my name?"

Finally, someone said, "Oh yeah, you're done".

I looked at the picture. I didn't like it as much as the last one, but in 8 more years I'll probably love it and once again dread parting with it. (it's amazing how much younger one looks 8 years ago!)

Oh, and the reason I mentioned the rain guessed it. Roseanne Rosanna Danna.
On a final note, I must admit it could have been worse. $32.00 renewal fee for 8 years really isn't that bad AND they didn't even charge a fee because it had expired.

"Well Jane, it just goes to show you....."

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Blasé said...

Dueling Banjos...I used to could play that, somewhat.

I posted a response for you in your sisters' blog.

Sorry if it appeared I was coming across in an abrasive was all in pun/fun and I was confident that CK understood that. I actually have the biggest heart you'll ever know...sometimes my dry humor/tone is deceiving to those that do not know me well.

Forgive me??

My ADHD Me said...

of course

Chatty Kelly said...

My hair looked like that on that day too.

By the way, it's Serling, not sterling. LOL!! RIGHT??????

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

" ... it's always somethin." Especially with you, dear one. funny story.

My ADHD Me said...

CK - Opps..I should have made it a pic of a ring - (minus) a teabag.

HisPrincess said...


For five years we pay over two hundred! SO not FAIR!

I'm off to write to the appropriate government department to complain. Because they care!

Debbie said...

Going to the DMV really does require drinking - before and after. During,if you can figure out how to pull it off.

HisPrincess said...



Beverlydru said...

I adore Roseanne Rosanna Danna. And you are one terrific story-teller.

HisPrincess said...

In answer to your question on my blog, yes we do have a minimum wage and it's similar to yours.

Obviously we are just getting RIPPED OFF!!!! $32!!! Even with the exchange rate that's only about $55 Australian dollars.

We do have a free public health system which means you don't need health insurance to get healthcare so I guess I won't complain too much. Our free health system has to be paid for somehow I guess!

Meredith said...

My husband just came inthe room and asked me what It was that had me laughing so hard......Roseanne Rosanna Danna.
I could almost smell the burrito......great story!!!

Edie said...

His Princess hit the nail on the head. *Free* isn't free!

Oh, and our government doesn't care any more than hers does. Now look, you got me started.

I'm with you on that photo. I had a half decent photo on my DL for eight years then had to take another one too. It's just not fair is it? I hate this *new* photo and it's been several years. Hmmm, I wonder when it expires. Gee, I hope I'm not late. :o

2nd try - dompulf

Meredith Leigh Knight said...

Great post! I have plenty of nightmare stories about the DMV (which has been renamed here, but I can't remember it). We can now renew through the mail, so I'm good for another 10 years, and it was worth every dime, plus I get to keep my picture!