I went to the grocery store the other day and spent approx $275.00. This has become the norm approx every other week and doesn't include the one or two random visits every week where I run in for 4 or 5 things---with a list, and still end up spending another $50.00 to $100.00. Out of that $275.00, the only meat I bought was 2 packs of hot dogs (if you can call that meat), 2 packs of Hillshire Farms summer sausage (as opposed to winter sausage) and a 3 lb package of bacon. I already had hamburger, chicken etc in the freezer so this was supposed to be an inexpensive trip. WRONG!
Where did all the food go???
This brings me to the subject of the day....Teenage Boys. Teenage boys can clean out the kitchen fast than....faster than...well, you know....really really fast. They eat anything and everything. I don't think they even chew, but just inhale.
We live in a average size rancher and when my 6 ft, 185 lb, size 11 shoe son comes in with 3 or 4 of his friends my house seems to be the size of a shoebox. These big boys head straight for the kitchen and for the next 20-30 minutes all you hear is the sounds of cabinet doors opening and closing, the refridgerator opening and closing and the continual humm of the microwave. Oh yeah, and the occasional sound of a burp followed by snickers (not Milky Ways) and laughter. Sometimes it's even worse than a burp---why are body sounds so incredibly funny to teenage boys---all boys for that matter. After they have demolished (as a snack, not a meal) a jumbo bag of chips, over half a loaf of bread, any leftovers, hot pockets, pizza rolls, fruit (only if I make sure it is always on the counter washed and ready to be eaten), a lb of lunchmeat and cheese, half a box of cereal, almost a gallon of milk and anything sweet that may have been here they stumble back to his room, laughing and hitting each other, close the door and then proceed to either turn on the stereo or pick up the guitars and see how long and loud they can play before:
A. The walls start to shake
B. The amp starts to smoke, or
C. I bang and bang on the door (even though they can't hear me) and finally open the door and sweetly say "would you please turn down the music just a bit?"
They smile, apologize, and turn down the music, at least temporarily. I thank them but at this point my main objective is to get out of the room without having to breath. Think about it...3 or 4 teenage boys, playing music, hot and sweaty, last showered???, all together in one small overcrowded bedroom. Let's just say that Lysol and air fresheners are ALWAYS on the grocery list.
Anyway, back to the groceries, I actually walked in the kitchen once and there was a six and a half foot boy/man sitting on the floor in front of the open refridgerater. When I asked him what in the world was he doing, he replied that he was trying to decide what to eat and was tired of standing and leaning over to look in the refridgerater. They had already pretty much emptied the house of food. I saw him later eating bread spread with 1000 Island dressing and other various condiments.
I really don't mind any of this. I want my kids friends to feel relaxed here. It gets expensive but at least when they are here I know where they are and what they are doing. They only part that really bugs me is that I can't eat like that. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad they are healthy, active and in good shape but I must admit that I am just a wee bit jealous. If I ate one tenth of what they do, I would be as big as a house...or at least a condo.
You know, I have no special final words to wrap this up. Nothing to say to bring it all together. I can't even think of a way to finish this post. Also, I'm starting to drift or zone out. If I can't stay focused, then I'm surprised that you guys are still reading. So, since monkey's are funny..........