Thursday, July 24, 2008

Hungry Again?

I went to the grocery store the other day and spent approx $275.00. This has become the norm approx every other week and doesn't include the one or two random visits every week where I run in for 4 or 5 things---with a list, and still end up spending another $50.00 to $100.00. Out of that $275.00, the only meat I bought was 2 packs of hot dogs (if you can call that meat), 2 packs of Hillshire Farms summer sausage (as opposed to winter sausage) and a 3 lb package of bacon. I already had hamburger, chicken etc in the freezer so this was supposed to be an inexpensive trip. WRONG!

Where did all the food go???

This brings me to the subject of the day....Teenage Boys. Teenage boys can clean out the kitchen fast than....faster than...well, you know....really really fast. They eat anything and everything. I don't think they even chew, but just inhale.

We live in a average size rancher and when my 6 ft, 185 lb, size 11 shoe son comes in with 3 or 4 of his friends my house seems to be the size of a shoebox. These big boys head straight for the kitchen and for the next 20-30 minutes all you hear is the sounds of cabinet doors opening and closing, the refridgerator opening and closing and the continual humm of the microwave. Oh yeah, and the occasional sound of a burp followed by snickers (not Milky Ways) and laughter. Sometimes it's even worse than a burp---why are body sounds so incredibly funny to teenage boys---all boys for that matter. After they have demolished (as a snack, not a meal) a jumbo bag of chips, over half a loaf of bread, any leftovers, hot pockets, pizza rolls, fruit (only if I make sure it is always on the counter washed and ready to be eaten), a lb of lunchmeat and cheese, half a box of cereal, almost a gallon of milk and anything sweet that may have been here they stumble back to his room, laughing and hitting each other, close the door and then proceed to either turn on the stereo or pick up the guitars and see how long and loud they can play before:
A. The walls start to shake
B. The amp starts to smoke, or
C. I bang and bang on the door (even though they can't hear me) and finally open the door and sweetly say "would you please turn down the music just a bit?"

They smile, apologize, and turn down the music, at least temporarily. I thank them but at this point my main objective is to get out of the room without having to breath. Think about it...3 or 4 teenage boys, playing music, hot and sweaty, last showered???, all together in one small overcrowded bedroom. Let's just say that Lysol and air fresheners are ALWAYS on the grocery list.

Anyway, back to the groceries, I actually walked in the kitchen once and there was a six and a half foot boy/man sitting on the floor in front of the open refridgerater. When I asked him what in the world was he doing, he replied that he was trying to decide what to eat and was tired of standing and leaning over to look in the refridgerater. They had already pretty much emptied the house of food. I saw him later eating bread spread with 1000 Island dressing and other various condiments.

I really don't mind any of this. I want my kids friends to feel relaxed here. It gets expensive but at least when they are here I know where they are and what they are doing. They only part that really bugs me is that I can't eat like that. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad they are healthy, active and in good shape but I must admit that I am just a wee bit jealous. If I ate one tenth of what they do, I would be as big as a house...or at least a condo.

You know, I have no special final words to wrap this up. Nothing to say to bring it all together. I can't even think of a way to finish this post. Also, I'm starting to drift or zone out. If I can't stay focused, then I'm surprised that you guys are still reading. So, since monkey's are funny..........


Chatty Kelly said...

All you needed was to add some tortillas on your grocery list - Add a little lunch meat, lettuce, ranch dressing, cheese - the perfect wrap for your hungry post.

Marina said...

I know how much it coast to feed a family its hard food has gotten so expensive and I know some day my son will be a teenagrer soon but for now I like him being small.marina

HisPrincess said...

We holiday every year with an old school friend of mine who has two teenage boys. Last time we went on a house boat for a week and did a big grocery shop before hand. I thought Sharon (yes, her name is Sharon too) was exaggerating and going a bit over the top with the amount of food she said her boys consumed.

But she wasn't exaggerating.

Not even a little bit.

Trent (her eldest and Stephs best friend/big brother figure) consumed (I have to say consumed, because he wasn't really eating!) 10 pancakes for breakfast! 10! And he always had a second helping at dinner, which was just as big as his first!

As for teenage boy smell. EEEEWWW. Scott has just reached 13, he isn't eating me out of house and home yet, but he sure is smelling us out!

Sue J said...

I have only sisters and girls...this issue only becomes a challenge when my brothers-in-law and nephews come to visit (and, really, the brothers-in-law are somewhat weight-conscious and the nephews are too small for this phenomenon to have happened yet).

But, my helper at VBS this year is a hormones-raging young man who had no qualms talking about his Edge shaving cream and making funny body sounds with the boys in our crew. (Sigh!)

Yet for all the talk of this, you know there's a story or two to be told about girls and their gum and their phones and their nonstop chatter and their hair and their hair products and cosmetics and toiletries, etc., etc. (At least we smell better most of the time!)

Truth4thejourney said...

Wow! That's a lot of eating. You don't want to know what my grocery bill is, and my kids are still young.

I admire you for letting your kids friends hang out at your house. I get stressed about the "messes" they make and I seem to like it better when my kids go to others houses. Maybe I should re-evaluate that thought, though. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm with you--I would rather have all the kids here. --SueJ--those little girls grow up and still talk about those same things (I know I do! :) )
My son is just starting to eat more and it is so expensive. I feel like they are little hobbits (for those of you who have seen Lord of the Rings)they have breakfast, 2nd breakfast, noonsies, etc. they spend their days eating and eating.


HisPrincess said...


I think I'm a Hobbit....

Must be about time for noonsies!

Pinkshoelady said...

Hi New Friend,
I just visited for the 1st time from Chatty Kelly's blog.

Too funny! I don't have boys but I do have a very beautiful daughter fastly approaching those teen years. I think if how the boys hang around now, we will have a houseful too.

I'll start stock piling money now. I'll start a feed-teenagers-fund.

I'll visit again.

Pamela R.

Bonita said...

I can relate so well with a 16 year old boy/man in my house. But I must say that I also have a 13 year old daughter and those girls can throw down some food too, as long as the boys aren't around to see, of course. We have so many "kids" and they must all feel at home with us. It isn't uncommon for me to walk in the kitchen and see a kid looking in the fridge or cooking on the stove and I have to stop and think who it is. Life with teenagers! You gotta admit though that for all the food they consume they certainly keep life lively too. Wouldn't have it any other way.