Step Away From The Car....

My son, JM (he used to be Guacamole but that just didn't flow as well as Alberquando) has been driving for almost one year. As I have said before, there is nothing quite as scary as standing on the porch and waving as your "baby" gets behind the wheel and drives away...without me. As of that second I lost the "Total Control" that I had felt over him for 16 years (he's 17 now). There he goes. It takes every bit of strength for me not to run down the road beside him as he's driving, yelling out things like, "Don't forget to buckle up always", "Don't speed", "Please please please be careful"..etc etc etc. Of course I said all those things 2,357 times before he walked out the door but maybe if I say them just once more they will be sure to be firmly implanted in his head.
But no, I stand there and wave good-bye with a fake smile plastered on my face.

That was all last year.
Flash forward to present day.
I still want to run along beside him, I still give all the warnings every time he goes anywhere (thank goodness he is so patient with me as I know I drive him crazy). But it has gotten a little bit easier. Of course there have been mishaps, but no major injuries. (Dear God, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You. Please keep watching him. Please keep watching him. Please keep watching him......)

Anyway, as for the mishaps,

#1 "Mom, I'm at Sam's house. The car won't start. We looked under the hood and there is oil everywhere!"
OK, I take the blame entirely for this. I "taught" him how to check his oil in the car and how to add oil as needed. It's an old car so he needs to check it regularly. Note to Everyone...."NEVER, EVER, EVER, FORGET TO REPLACE THE OIL CAP AFTER ADDING OIL!!" (especially when you are "teaching" someone else how to do it). After a day of driving without the cap on, the engine was soaked with oil and the alternator needed to be replaced. As I said, I take full credit for this one.

#2. "MOM, They were SO right in driver's Ed class. They said if the roads are wet and you start to hydroplane, that you lose all control of the car. I thought I could surely handle it but I actually had NO control as the car glided off the road. Don't worry, there was a party going on across the street where I went off the road. it took about 6 or 7 guys but we were finally able to get the car out of the ditch. I'll wash all the mud off tomorrow"

When he got home, I asked him if it scared him. He looked me straight in the eye and said "YES" He said he was shaking for about an hour. good.

#3 "Mom, can you please come and pick me up. I forgot to turn off my headlights and the battery is dead". ok, that happens to everyone at least once.

#4. "Mom, um, can you come and pick me up? I'M OKAY. I was, well, you see, I went to spit out the window (gross) and some of it got on the window frame. I only looked away for 2 seconds to wipe it off with my arm. I started to drift off the road. You know how they said in Driver's Ed to be careful about over correcting? Well, they were right. After I drifted off the road my reflex was to turn hard to get back on the road. Well the edge of the road blew out both of my passenger side tires. I only have one spare. Oh, and thank goodness no one was coming down the road the other way or I would probably be dead".

Yes, he was shaken up...but no where near as badly as I was.

#5 I received a letter from the local county police dept..."Dear Mrs MyADHDMe (actually, I think they put my real name) This letter is to inform you that your son was pulled over on so-and-so date for exceeding the speed limit. Although we did not issue him a ticket, we would just like you to be aware of this. Please remind him of the importance of driving safely and obeying all traffic laws.etc etc etc."

I received this letter about 2 weeks after the fact. He must have completely "Forgotten" about being pulled over since he had never mentioned it to me. But, you would have loved the "deer in the headlights" look he got when I asked him about it. Speaking of deer....

#6. "Hi Mom. That stupid deer ran right out in front of me. It's a good thing I had my window down because he knocked the driver's side mirror right thru the window area and if it had been closed it would have shattered the window all over me. The mirror cut my hand a little bit. There's a lot of blood but the man that works at Waffle house said I don't need stitches." (since when does Waffle House employ paramedics?)

"Oh, and Mom, when the deer hit the car, his body flung around and hit the back window and busted it out. Lucky for Justin (his friend), he was sitting on the other side. Otherwise he would probably have been hurt bad!" (as opposed to hurt good?) "Oh gross, mom, there's deer poop on the car" (sigh)

#7 (last night) "Mom, usually when my gas tank is on empty I still have a few miles to go. I don't know why it didn't happen this time. Could you please bring me some gas?"

I think they should change the driving age to 18...or 21....25?

Well, he's still driving and understandably I still worry. However, every accident was minor and he did learn something in each one. A lot of those things, you need to experience yourself before you take them seriously. We were blessed that there were no serious injuries. As for the car, she's still running. She's a 1991 Nissan Sentra with 160,000 miles. It was mine for 16 years and he's had it for one. I'm pretty sure we got our money's worth.

TAG---You're It

Chatty Kelly got tagged! In return she can tag 6 other people. Instead of tagging 6 people, she left an open invitation to everyone that reads her blog to respond if they want to. She left me a comment to consider myself tagged. (Thanks CK) She must have forgotten that being tagged requires copying, pasting, and linking. She knows my computer inadequacies and she ends up being the one that does ALL the "foot work" for my blog...aka anything that requires ANYTHING besides typing.

I wrote this post previously but now I am editing it now because I just got officially tagged by truth 4 the journey. Thank you S. What a nice way to make someone feel good. That's 2 tags. Am I cool or what?---What do you mean "What"?.

The tagging rules are on both of their blogs. I'm not going to copy them because I don't know how to cut and paste except with scissors and glue (and even then, not very well). I could type them out but my typing skills (aka lack of) are minimal at best. I could ask CK to do it but she's helped me alot and I think she is ready to give me the "You can give a man a fish and feed him for a day or you can teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime" speech. I want to learn, really I do...just not today...tomorrow? Also, anyone who reads my blog, got it from her so you probably already know the rules

OK, Here are 6 random things about me. (whew, bet you thought we'd never get here).

I. Here's a surprise to all of you. I tend to ramble.

2 This tag asks for 6 random things about me. Well, if you look up random in the dictionary, you will probably see a picture of me. (Go ahead and look, if your dictionary doesn't have my picture then it must be an older outdated book). I AM the definition of random. Webster says this about random..."impetuous and haphazard movement or course of action, not uniform, a chance of occurring or NOT occurring with a particular frequency, not uniform, an occurrence without prearrangement or planning".

3. Sometimes being random gets me into trouble.

4. I'm not 100% sure why God put me on this earth but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with helping people during their times of crisis or disaster. Or maybe I do those things so I can ignore my own problems. hhmmmm

5. I am looking for something but I haven't found it yet. Once I realize what it is I'm looking for, I think it will be easier to find.

6. I have a guilt complex. I feel guilty about things that I have no control over and even about things that I had nothing to do with at all. Even when I have done nothing wrong I might think someone thinks I did. Of course that makes me defensive, that gives me the "deer in the headlights" look, and then I really do LOOK guilty...but I'm not, really...why don't you believe me?

7. I don't always follow all the rules (aka...note this is random thing #7!)

So there you have it. 6/7 random things about me. I am SURE you all already had figured out the first 3.

oh yeah....

#8. I love to make people laugh but am unable to be funny "on demand". I need to wait until the little voices tell me something funny to say. Usually, they only blurt out things at "random" times.

Ok, I'm done...really I am.

Follow That Bear! or not

Ok, Here I am again.
What to write...hhmmm

The bear went over the mountain
The bear went over the mountain
The bear went over the mountTAIN
To see what he could see.

You may be wondering what that was all about. Wait a minute. If you have ever read any of my posts, you're not wondering at all. Just taking it in stride.

To see what he could see
To see what he could see
The bear went over the mounTAIN
To see what he could see.

I'm going over the mountain now to try to think of what to say today. Oh great I finally got over the mountain and guess what was there?

He saw another mountain.
He saw another mountain.
He saw another mounTAIN
That's all that he could see.

Now what? I thought the answer was right there, over the mountain, almost in my grasp.
But alas, another obstacle.
The answer must be on the other side of THAT mountain.

SO

The bear went over that mountain
The bear went over that mountain
the bear went over that mounTAIN
To see what he could see.

Well you, guessed it.

He saw another mountain
He saw another mountain
He saw another mounTAIN
That's all that he could see.

Fool me once, your fault.
Fool me twice, my fault.
It's hot. I'm sweaty. I forgot my water bottle. I've been hiking for hours AND I still don't have any idea what to write about. If you think I am going to travel over mountains all day just to come up with something to write about, then you're crazier than I am, and somehow I doubt that. Then again, what if the answer if right over the next mountain....NO WAY. I'm not doing it...

OK, just once more. The answer must be there.

The bear went over the mountain
The bear went over the mountain
The bear went over the mounTAIN
To see what he could see.

Man does that tick me off. I can't believe it but there it is in plain sight.

He saw another mountain
He saw another mountain
He saw another mounTAIN
That's all that he could see.

THAT'S IT! I'm done. No post today.

Hungry Again?

I went to the grocery store the other day and spent approx $275.00. This has become the norm approx every other week and doesn't include the one or two random visits every week where I run in for 4 or 5 things---with a list, and still end up spending another $50.00 to $100.00. Out of that $275.00, the only meat I bought was 2 packs of hot dogs (if you can call that meat), 2 packs of Hillshire Farms summer sausage (as opposed to winter sausage) and a 3 lb package of bacon. I already had hamburger, chicken etc in the freezer so this was supposed to be an inexpensive trip. WRONG!

Where did all the food go???

This brings me to the subject of the day....Teenage Boys. Teenage boys can clean out the kitchen fast than....faster than...well, you know....really really fast. They eat anything and everything. I don't think they even chew, but just inhale.

We live in a average size rancher and when my 6 ft, 185 lb, size 11 shoe son comes in with 3 or 4 of his friends my house seems to be the size of a shoebox. These big boys head straight for the kitchen and for the next 20-30 minutes all you hear is the sounds of cabinet doors opening and closing, the refridgerator opening and closing and the continual humm of the microwave. Oh yeah, and the occasional sound of a burp followed by snickers (not Milky Ways) and laughter. Sometimes it's even worse than a burp---why are body sounds so incredibly funny to teenage boys---all boys for that matter. After they have demolished (as a snack, not a meal) a jumbo bag of chips, over half a loaf of bread, any leftovers, hot pockets, pizza rolls, fruit (only if I make sure it is always on the counter washed and ready to be eaten), a lb of lunchmeat and cheese, half a box of cereal, almost a gallon of milk and anything sweet that may have been here they stumble back to his room, laughing and hitting each other, close the door and then proceed to either turn on the stereo or pick up the guitars and see how long and loud they can play before:
A. The walls start to shake
B. The amp starts to smoke, or
C. I bang and bang on the door (even though they can't hear me) and finally open the door and sweetly say "would you please turn down the music just a bit?"

They smile, apologize, and turn down the music, at least temporarily. I thank them but at this point my main objective is to get out of the room without having to breath. Think about it...3 or 4 teenage boys, playing music, hot and sweaty, last showered???, all together in one small overcrowded bedroom. Let's just say that Lysol and air fresheners are ALWAYS on the grocery list.

Anyway, back to the groceries, I actually walked in the kitchen once and there was a six and a half foot boy/man sitting on the floor in front of the open refridgerater. When I asked him what in the world was he doing, he replied that he was trying to decide what to eat and was tired of standing and leaning over to look in the refridgerater. They had already pretty much emptied the house of food. I saw him later eating bread spread with 1000 Island dressing and other various condiments.

I really don't mind any of this. I want my kids friends to feel relaxed here. It gets expensive but at least when they are here I know where they are and what they are doing. They only part that really bugs me is that I can't eat like that. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad they are healthy, active and in good shape but I must admit that I am just a wee bit jealous. If I ate one tenth of what they do, I would be as big as a house...or at least a condo.

You know, I have no special final words to wrap this up. Nothing to say to bring it all together. I can't even think of a way to finish this post. Also, I'm starting to drift or zone out. If I can't stay focused, then I'm surprised that you guys are still reading. So, since monkey's are funny..........

Busyness Vrs Productivity. Has the Jury Reached A Verdict?

Whew. Thank goodness all that legal mumbo-jumbo is over...for now.

Where was I....oh yeah. I was talking about Productivity vrs Busyness. (or was it Busyness vrs Productivity?) Oh well, that probably doesn't matter. I guess it would matter if this were a real court case because the district attorney and the defense attorney would need to know which client they were supporting. But, we're not in court so I guess it really doesn't matter.

It was recommended that I make lists. I already do that. I write down everything. If it doesn't get written down, then there is a good chance that it won't get done. (I'm not saying it will definitely get done if it is written down...but the odds are better.) I am the list queen. I have to-do lists, master lists, long term lists, short term lists (doesn't need to be done now...but soon), I have "You better do it today or else" lists, grocery lists, calls to make lists, errand lists, books to read lists, movies to watch lists, school supply lists, cleaning lists, gift lists, birthday lists, emergency contact lists, teacher lists, things to do with the kids lists, Lists of things that must be done each day, week, month....etc Sometimes I even go back to the lists and actually read them or do something from them.....if I can find the list.

You say I should consolidate? Been there, done that.
1. Today's List
2. Short Term List
3. Long term list

You say shorten the lists to make them more approachable? Been there, done that.
1.Get out of bed
2. Shower
3.Cook dinner
4. Monkey's Are Funny.......

I actually enjoy making lists. I like the feeling of accomplishment when I get to cross something off the list. I have actually written things on my list that I have already done, just so I can cross them off.

More than once I have put together great notebooks of lists, ideas, goals etc.
I'm not talking about spiral notebooks. I'm talking about huge 3-ring binders with tabs and a table of contents. They include EVERYTHING and ALL information a person could EVER need.....and very possibly/probably will NEVER need.

Again, to make the lists work....YOU MUST GO BACK AND READ THEM AND DO THE THINGS ON THEM!

Making all these notebooks and lists is very time consuming.
It keeps me busy? YES
Productive?.................

I believe the jury has reached a verdict..........

My AHDH Me Vrs #1 Fan....Case # 4956298

Dear Mr Number One Fan,

My ADHD Me has retained my services to handle any and all of your correspondences with her. I believe she made it quite clear in her last letter to you that you are not to contact her anymore. (.aka see blog named To My #1 Fan Dated June 11...(thank you CK for the link)

I can understand that you enjoy her blog...who wouldn't? She's funny and has a quirky attitude towards life. (That is the first time I have been able to use the word Quirky in any of my legal correspondences.) Speaking of Quirky, due to the professionalism of this letter to you, I must advise you that I am using the word quirky with the meaning of having or full of quirks. That then takes me to Webster which defines quirk as a peculiarity of action, behavior or personality. A quirk is also noted to be a riding whip with a braided leather lash and a short handle. I ASSURE you that I am referring to the former definition.

Anyway, My ADHD Me has become rather alarmed that you continue not only to send letters...(section A48F255 of the restraining order prohibited any and all correspondence), but now you seem to be aware of her whereabouts at any given time. I must say that this is a concern for me also. You see, I too was at the lake on the same day that she was....I too have seen her at the grocery store.....I even saw her very alarming encounter with the Junebug (see Ode To A June Bug--- (INSERT...Be it known that a portion of all proceeds received from the readers of this and any past/future blogs go to CK for her gracious help with our computer inadequacies (she added the link).) Also, please disregard any thoughts you may have that the writer is plugging past posts.

My ADHD Me has a life other than blogging. She told you before that she cannot sit and write everyday. She told you that she is not consistent. She told you she gets busy...although not always productive. She has important things to do and cannot sit at the computer all day just to satisfy you. FOR GOODNESS SAKE MAN, SHE HAS LAUNDRY TO DO!! Not to mention that her typing skills (probably 25 wpm) (should I say Lack Of Skills) require her to spend way too long on her posts when she does write. That is one of the reasons I am writing for her today.

As her attorney (Pro-Bono at my insistence), I must insist that you IMMEDIATELY stop any and all correspondence with her. Also, if it is known that you are within 500 feet from her at any time....you will have to deal with me! You see....SHE IS MINE!!HA HA HA HA (evil laugh). She is ALL mine. I am the one that sits up nights waiting on her new posts. I am the one that laughs hysterically at her QUIRKY sense of humor and it is I that knows where she is and what she is doing AT ALL TIMES!! I.....not you, I AM HER NUMBER ONE FAN!! STAY AWAY FROM HER!

ahem, as I was saying, Ms My ADHD Me if off limits to you. Hopefully I will be able to assure her that this case is closed. I will be forwarding a copy of this correspondence to Ms My ADHD Me for her records. However, as she is very busy, I will do extensive editing before I send it. And don't worry.....she'll be just fine...I'll make sure of it....after all.. I AM her NUMBER ONE FAN.

Yours Sincerely,

N. O. Stalkouski (atty of law)

cc: EDITED VERSION ONLY... My ADHD Me

Your #1 Fan

Dear My ADHD Me,

Where are you? We've been through this before. Last time I wrote to you, you promised to stay on top of things and try to be consistent in your posting.

But I've been sitting here for days...waiting and waiting.....nothing.

I'm sorry that my adoration made you a bit nervous. The restraining order you filed against me, however, was completely unnecessary. As I told you last time I had to write to you ( re post: Where Are You??), I'm your #1 Fan.

I know you have a life outside the computer. I know this because I "accidentally" saw you. Of course I'm not following you but do you really think trips to the grocery store are more important than blogging? And you spent that day at the lake with your sister E and the kids when you could have been posting.....No again, I wasn't following you...I just happened to be there too.

I'm starting to feel left out. I'm starting to think that maybe you aren't posting Just For Me. Because of that, I got a little bit annoyed and erased the last 92 comments on your last post. I don't want you to think you are so popular that you forget that I AM YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!

Don't you know that I'll "Love You Forever......" (haha I know that creeps you out).

Seriously, I miss you. just like last time, I sit here and find myself continually logging on to read your newest post only to be let down again and again and again. Again and again as dusk becomes dawn I am still sitting here....waiting and waiting. There is no food in the house, the bills are late, I haven't been outside in days and it's ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!! (deep breath, relax)

My dear sweet My ADHD Me.....all I am asking is that you post something new. Is that too much to ask?

Again, I must ask you....Aren't Monkey's Funny Anymore?

All My Love,
Your Number One Fan

Busyness VRS Productivity

I read an interesting quote today.

"Don't Mistake activity for achievement. Busyness does not equal productiveness."
John Wooden.

Hours later when I had completely forgotten about that quote I sat down to write my blog. I scanned my last few posts and 2 of them jumped out at me.
After I grabbed them and put them back into the computer, I figured that there must be a reason they were trying to get my attention.

It was these posts:

"I Won't Be Late"
and
"I Would Never Do That."

HHHmmm, "Don't mistake activity for achievement. Busyness does not equal productiveness"

Well, That is Certainly Something to Think About................

I'm always busy.....but productive?.......I think in one of my next posts I'll write a short (HA HA HA---Sorry.... me...write something short...IMPOSSIBLE!! The words are all there just DYING to come out! (also it may not be my next blog because I may have the NEED to write about something else...which could happen....but probably won't....but if it does it doesn't mean I won't write about this subject on another day....maybe...I'm just not sure....we'll see.)

A blog about my day would probably be similar to the 2 posts I mentioned above.

I KNOW!! I'll improve my Productivity and THEN blog about it.
Well, if that's the case I'll be back in a few months.

Maybe I'm done with this subject after all.

But it is something to think about.

"Don't mistake activity for achievement. Busyness does not equal productiveness" hhhmmm, definitely something to think about............

I Don't Need To Post Today

I don't need to post today.

I just read a new post on my friends blog. She hasn't written in a while. I was so glad to see she was able to start writing again.

I left her a comment---ok I left 2.

Comments: short, sweet responses to another persons blog.

Short? I cannot say hello in 50 words or less.

I left a comment. It is probably as long as her post.

Her post was great, so go and read it and my comment is my post for today.

Too bad I don't know how to write it in so you can just click a button and end up there, so this is going to require you to go thru a few steps. JUST A FEW!! Come on, I know you can do it. The name of her blog is Create: Making Something Of Today.

To get there, go to the comment section on my last blog and click on her comment. It's the one that says Sue J. Then you can read her blog and my comment is my post for today. Two birds with one stone.......not to mention a great way to let everyone know that Sue J is back!

Oh Come On! It's easy! If I can figure out how to get there, then I know you can!!

Well, I did it again. Said I wasn't going to post today, and here I've gone and written half a page.
Well, what are you waiting for...go read Sue J's blog.

P.S. Thanks Chatty Kelly, she just commented on this blog....to get to Sue's blog go to www.writesomethingtoday.blogspot.com.

I Won't Be Late.....

I am always busy.
I am always rushing.

I am always late....(just ask any one of the ladies that I babysit for during their Bible Study....I think they must only keep me because I'm CK's sister).

I know being late is rude. I know being late is inconsiderate. AND I know I hate waiting on someone else if they are late.

I am going to make it a point not to be late again.....well, at least a lot less often.

I really really try to be on time. I really do!
What do you mean you don't believe me?
I do!
No, I'm not lazy and I do care about your time. Please forgive me. It's not intentional. I actually make it a point to be on time or even 1 minute early.....(if I'm too early I may have to sit...quietly....with nothing to do.....(cold shiver). I always have a book or crossword puzzle with me in case I have to wait.....and sit.....quietly....with nothing to do.(another cold shiver)

To be on time I:

Leave myself notes,

Set a timer for at least 15 minutes before I have to leave.

Set the timer again for 10 minutes before I have to leave.

Set the timer again for 5 minutes before I have to leave.

But then I have those 3 minutes just sitting there. t i c k---t o c k..... t i c k----t o c k ....

I get everything I may need to take with me and either put it in the car or at least by the door.
(keys, purse, book, crossword puzzles, bag of whatever, jacket or sweater in case where ever I'm going has the AC up too high, t-shirt in case it is too hot, diet coke for on the way there, frozen water bottle for on the way home......I never said I'm not always prepared.....Ok, yes...I CAN say Obsessive Compulsive....don't rub it in!)

I've already checked the dog's water bowl and put her on the outside cable.

I've already checked that lights are out.

I've already made sure any candles I may have had burning have been blown out.

I've already RE-checked that any candles I may have left burning are blown out.

The stove is off. The dryer is off (I'm a fire fighter.....I know about dryer fires).

I've done the last email check and even logged off the computer to avoid re-checking one more time.

My shoes are on (almost always sneakers even if I'm dressed up. I will have already put my pumps in the car to put on at the last minute....but I think I addressed that once before).

THE TIMER GOES OFF

I have it go off the last time about 1-2 minutes before I MUST leave.

I go towards the door.

Oh yeah, let me leave a note to "Guacamole" to let him know where I am. (I think I need to change his name,,,Guacamole just doesn't work for me....for now on he is JM).(he's the 17 yr old)

The phone rings....I won't answer it...but I will check caller ID just in case it is an emergency.

Going back to the door...did I turn off the lights in the back of the house? I know I did. I better check real quick.

I'm out the door....door is locked.....No, I didn't lock my keys in the house.....give me a break!

While I'm outside I'll grab the mail.

Oh, I better unlock the door and put the mail inside after I quickly scan it.

Oh good, there's my water bottle on the counter. I almost forgot it. The ice is starting to melt. I'll just add a few ice cubes.

Dropped the ice or spilled the water.....clean it up.
Really rushing now.

Walking out the door again. Lock the door. Oh look, I forgot to turn off the back porch light this morning.

Unlock the door, turn off the light, reclose and relock the door.

Oh #$&//*# (shoot)
I locked my keys in the house this time.

I need to go out and get the spare that we have hidden in the....AH HA! Bet you thought I was going to tell you where the key is hidden.

OK, I'm really rushing now.

I run and get the key, unlock the door, get my keys, drop the spare on the counter, realize that if I don't put the spare back where it goes it will never get back there, check that I have both keys, run to put the spare one away, stop to pat the dog that is now barking furiously because I keep running back and forth and jump in the car...hot, sweaty, out of breath and ready to go.

Opps, forgot my cell, I'll need to run in and get it.

Unlock--- pick up cell---relock.

There's my neighbor...Quick "Hi, How ya doin'?"

Back in the car....start the car....start slowly driving out of my subdivision....check the gas tank level...................

Oh My Goodness

OH MY GOODNESS!

Oh My Goodness!
Oh My Goodness!
Oh My Goodness!

I cannot Believe it
I cannot Believe it.
I cannot Believe it.

I am in shock.

My 17 year old SON'S hair is longer than mine.
It reaches past the middle of his back.
I would have loved it-- for me--long, wavy and No Frizz----BEAUTIFUL (for a woman)
For him, however, I would have preferred short hair.
I don't like long hair on men or boys. Never have.
But I believe in choosing your battles and there are much bigger battles than hair. So as long as it stays cleans and neat, he could grow it.

Oh My Goodness!
Oh My Goodness!
Oh My Goodness!

He had a friend spend the night last night.
I kissed him goodnight (my son, not his friend) & (yes, he still lets me) and I went to bed.

I cannot believe it.
I cannot believe it.
I cannot believe it.

This morning he comes out of his room with his hair pulled back in a ponytail. ( so I thought)
We speak, "Good Morning, etc".
He turns and walks away.

THERE IS NO PONYTAIL!!

He and his friend cut off his hair!

All Of It!!

It's VERY short!

I can see his neck!
I can see his face!
He is SO handsome!

He always looked older than his age. I thought a hair cut would make him look younger and closer to his real age. WRONG! When he was 16 he looked 19. With short hair he looks like a MAN!

Oh My Goodness!
Oh My Goodness!
Oh My Goodness!

I am in shock!

HE IS SO HANDSOME!!

We have a bag full of over 14 INCH, thick, long, brown hair to donate to cancer victims!

I cannot believe it!!
I just cannot believe it!

He doesn't look scary anymore. (he never looked scary to me, but if I hadn't known him and saw him walking down the street I admit it would have made me nervous).

He says he just did it on a whim.
He said he likes it.
I LOVE IT!
I AM SO PROUD OF HIM!

Did I mention how HANDSOME HE LOOKS!!

Oh My Goodness!
Oh My Goodness!
Oh My Goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(of course now I can't blame him for the strands of long hair on the bathroom floor and in the shower. I'll have to take all the blame. Small price to pay.)

OH MY GOODNESS!!

I Would Never Do That.......

This is Very Important!

If you decide to have a bubble bath and you have ADHD, do not, I repeat...DO NOT leave the room while the bathtub is filling with water!

Now I'm not saying this happened to me! I know enough about ADHD to NEVER do something like that.

I would NEVER start filling the bathtub and then go to the linen closet to get a towel. I would never scoop up some dirty laundry on the way to the linen closet. I would never decide to quickly start a load of laundry. After starting the washer I would never put those few cups that are in the sink, into the dishwasher.

Even though the computer is just in the next room, I would never decide there is enough time to quickly check my email. I would never ever quickly reply to just a few. I would never look around the computer desk and decide to straighten it up. I would never do those things because the bathtub is filling up with water..... But it does take a while to fill.

I would never start back to the bathroom only to make a beeline to the bedroom to quickly pick out what I was going to wear. Oh look, there's just a few clean towels on the bed that need folding. I could do that in just 2 seconds. Good thing I would never do that.

OK, maybe I would do those things but it takes FOREVER to fill the bathtub. I'm sure I've done all these things in just a matter of a couple of minutes. I have time.

The floor needs vacuuming too, of course I KNOW there isn't time to vacuum but I'm sure there is time to pull out the vacuum cleaner so that I will remember to vacuum later. OK, I might do that.

How can I vacuum the floor with all that clutter on it. It will only take 2 seconds to clear the floor. Yes, I did that too.

Oh look, the dog's water bowl needs to be filled.....water bowl.............water..............wasn't I doing something else?.....................

My Bathroom floor has NEVER been cleaner.

"Sweet, Sweet Songs and Poems of Childhood"

"There was an old lady who swallowed a fly,
I don't know why, she swallowed that fly,
Perhaps she'll die."

Ah, the sweet songs of childhood.............

"Do your ears hang low.
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow"

So now we're making fun of the physically disabled?

"Yankee Doodle went to town,
Riding on a Pony.
Stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni.
Yankee Doodle keep it up.
Yankee Doodle Dandy.
Mind the music and the step(?),
And WITH THE GIRLS BE HANDY."

With the girls be handy?

"Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails.
That's what boys are made of."

What a sweet thing to sing to your newborn baby boy.

"Ring around the rosies.
Pocket full of posies.
Ashes, Ashes,
We all fall DOWN"

You know that "down" in this song is referring to dead. Sweet song.

"There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
She had so many children she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth without any bread,
She whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed."

Can you say CPS?
I think the lyrics of this were changed to "she kissed them all soundly.." by the Politically Correct Police, But they started out as written above.
Hey, yes they did! I have proof. I'm reading it right now from my old copy of Mother Goose & Nursery Rhymes 1966. Why would I lie?

"Eaper Weaper, chimney sweeper,
Had a wife and couldn't keep her,
Had anover, didn't love her,
Up the chimney he did shove her!"

This is a clear cut case of domestic abuse.
He must be Peter Piper's cousin.
What's an Eaper?
Oh, and the book really does say "Anover" instead of another.

Jack Be Nimble---playing with fire?
Red Riding Hood---eaten by a wolf and then surgically removed by a hunter?
Ride A Cock Horse---???
Three Blind Mice---handicapped, carving knives, decapitation
Little Jack Horner---someone give that kid a fork!
Alice And Wonderland---Clearly a psychedelic acid trip.
Snow White---7 Lazy men take advantage of a lost girl & make her stay home and clean up their house all day. And again, exploitation of the physically challenged (dwarfs).
The Lion King (I Loved this movie) but Murder by a Family Member? And that murder
was horrific.

It's a never ending list.

Murderers, Thieves, Evil Stepmoms, Hunters, Poison Apples, Guns, Knives, Killing dogs to make coats....And NO moms.
Where are all the mom's?

CK pointed out to me that her daughter read the book Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
In the book they have a mom. So what was Dick Van Dyke doing out there with Little Miss Toot Sweet?

In the Old Bugs Bunny Cartoons, he had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth in many episodes. Elmer Fudd was always trying to blow his head off and quite often DID blow Daffy Ducks head off---thankfully it always grew right back.

There was a drunk in just about every Pink Panther episode.

"Eddie Cuchy Catcha Kamma Toasta Novo Toasta Nova Samma Gamma Wacky Brown."
"Sticky Sticky Stambo Losso Rambo Hairy Carrie Bushtail Ekki Pawpaw Anishnamore Dumacore"

Both of these kids fell into the well...it took so long to say their names that they both drown.

"Ah, the Sweet, Sweet Songs & Poems of Childhood."

P.S. Some people give me a hard time about letting my kids watch James Bond movies....but geez...I had to get them away from all that violence!

P.S.S. I am now done making fun of children's books, movies, songs, etc (aka-Love you Forever etc). I won't do it again. Really, I won't...unless I do. But at this point, I won't. Probably. Well, I don't plan to anyway.

P.S.S.S.Have an Outstandingly Glorious Day!!

Here I Sit

Here I sit.

I sit and I sit.

It's not like I have nothing to say.
I ALWAYS has tons to say.-----Not always important, not always interesting, not always consistant and not always making any sense.....But I always have SOMETHING to say.

But here I sit.

"She sat and she rocked and she rocked and she rocked that great big boy....." ooooppps....someone get that creepy book out of my head!!

Here I sit. I'm staring at that white screen that is saying WRITE SOMETHING!

But here I sit.

The kids are still asleep (no surprise there). The house is peaceful. I have my diet coke. Writing conditions are perfect.

But here I sit.

I look around the room. Maybe something will pop into my head. Ouch. Bad idea. the only thing popping in my head is YUCK. I need to clean up this room.

So, I look back at the screen.

Here I sit. (yawn)

Monkey's aren't even that funny right now.

OH yeah, I just remembered.....I'm supposed to take my Adderall (ADHD med) AFTER I blog. I forgot. So here I sit.

I could sit here and write all day about not having anything to say.

I have plenty to say.

I know the problem! Between already taking my meds, the quiet house and the dog not even barking....it's too quiet.

Here I sit.

You know what? I don't think I'll post today.

Here I sit. She sat and she sat and she sat......

I could get up. There's always laundry, housework etc to be done. I'll get busy. Tons of things to blog about will come into my head but I'll either be too busy or someone else will be on the computer. What if the thoughts fly into my head and then fly out before I can write them down?!? What if you miss out on some incredibly interesting, enthralling, witty thing I have to say? It could be clever, capricious, jocular, hilarious, bizarre, remarkable and even intriguing. Ok, I'm putting the Thesaurus down now. That didn't help either.

Here I sit.

I guess I won't post a blog today.
After all, it wouldn't make any sense at all to sit here and write about not having anything to write about.

Here I sit.

You know, if you skip lines enough it makes your blogs appear longer than they are.

Here I sit.

Repeating yourself helps too.

Here I sit.

OK, really, I'm done now. I'm definitely NOT going to post anything today. You can go ahead and disregard anything you have read.

"Would the jury please disregard the last statement made by the defendant?" How can you disregard something you just heard? "OK, your Honor. It's forgotten."

Here I sit.

Maybe I'll write tomorrow instead.