The Spider's Web of CSI

I just got off the phone with CK.

I called her because I had a quick question about something....can't remember what it was.....but something that a 2 minute conversation would cover. That was approx 50 minutes ago.

We'd probably still be on the phone but her doorbell rang and she had to go....actually, I didn't actually hear the doorbell but she SAID it did, so it must have. HHmmm, her door bell is very loud. I think I would have heard it...maybe I wouldn't have...we WERE talking an awful lot...ok, I'm sure the doorbell really MUST have rang and she really needed to get off the phone. But then again.....

A phone call between CK and I is a truly exhausting thing. Most of my readers know her and know me well enough to know that we aren't lacking in the talking department. As a matter of fact, CK said that carrying on a conversation with me actually causes her to feel like she has ADHD.

We both talk and we talk and we talk.....writing that kind of makes me think about that book....."the mother crept into the room and picked up that big sleeping man and They Rocked and They Rocked and They Rocked" (cold shiver)

opps, losing focus, monkey's are funny....

Anyway we both have SO much to say and OF COURSE it it all such VERY important stuff. For instance, "Did you see the last episode of CSI?".....we then give a quick commentary on past episodes which makes us think of parts that are referred to other episodes. We then decided that CSI had become like an addiction for us and we're glad that is no longer the case (Case, did you say Case , as in the Case where Greg got promoted to a CSI, as in the CASE where Gil and Sarah hooked up, as in CASE where Nick was locked underground in that box.......opps, wrong kind of case). ANYWAY, We would wait eagerly every week for the new episode. We couldn't wait until Friday mornings so we could discuss the episode from the previous night. We would discuss what happened, why it happened, what SHOULD have happened and what WILL happen. We talked about the characters like they were real people. We even made certain that if we weren't going to be home on a Thursday night that there would always be 2 forms of back up to tape it, ie VCR/TiVo/ or a friend taping it. Sounds a bit obsessive, eh?

Then the writers strike happened and we didn't watch it for a while. When the strike ended we no longer had that NEED to watch it. After weeks of withdrawal and detoxing we had kicked the CSI habit. We were no longer ADDICTED to CSI. We still enjoyed it but we didn't need it. It is SO nice to not have that NEED to be home on Thursday nights holding me back. It is SO nice to be free.

Well, CK and I were talking and I asked her if she had seen the season finale episode. She had missed it and so had I. I DID however, find it on On Demand. I didn't watch it right away, there was no need (anymore).

One night when there was nothing else on I went ahead and watched it. I felt that old feeling come back. My eyes started to get that glazed over look, I was sitting up straighter on the edge of the sofa, I casually turned up the volume so as to not miss a word. Euphoric! Since it was On Demand I quickly paused it and ran back to my room and climbed on my bed so I could watch it without interuption and give it my full attention. I don't think I blinked or breathed thru the entire episode. The ending was in slow motion, unexpected, shocking and all the other things that are expected in a good episode of CSI. When it was over, I rewound part of it to make sure I hadn't missed something I had not been sure of. Now there won't be any more new episodes until the fall. What to do? HHmmmmm.....

You know, most alcoholics don't like to drink alone. Most drug addicts will gladly "give" you that first high. Addiction is so-called "much more fun" if you can share it with someone. I KNOW for a fact that I did not call CK because of that episode of CSI. BUT, somewhere during the conversation it drifted towards this...

"Hey CK, did you see the last episode of CSI?"
"No, I missed it."
"Yeah, me too. Did you know, you can get it on On Demand?" (spoken very casually in an off- hand sort of way.)
"Really, I didn't know that."
"Sure, want me to tell you how?"
"I'm pretty sure I can figure it out."
"Are you sure?, I'll tell you how anyway...(explains what buttons to push). It was a really great episode. The ending had a huge build up and was a shocker"
"HHmm, sound good, I think I will watch it later....no rush......oh, someones at my door I gotta go....bye"

Yeah, right. HaHa. Jiggle the line and PULL. I got her, Hook, Line, and Sinker!!

We'll just watch a few episodes. We won't obsess over it. We can stop any time we want to. Really. I can stop now if I really wanted to. there's nothing wrong with once in a while though. It's not like I NEED to watch it.

Well, I'm gonna go now. I need (I mean want...really want....not need) to check out CBS.com to see when they will start airing the new seasons shows this fall. I think I'll go get my VCR serviced....just for kicks....for the kids....not me....really....

Oh, and CK----JK!! I know your door bell really rang. You don't NEED to watch CSI right now. Wait until tonight when the kids are asleep. If you need help finding it on ON Demand, just call me, I'll be here......glad to help............

Another quote from an old favorite movie, Mammy is talking to Scarlett...she could have been talking to me..."You'll be sitting there, waiting. Just like a spider!"


P.S. I have absolutely NO idea what I had actually called her for in the first place.

Sugar & Spice and Everything Nice

I have 2 boys. I have been thru Power Rangers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Pokemon, and an entire arsenal of weapons. Before the first one was born, I had decided there would be no toy guns or knives in the house. That lasted about a minute. I discovered that if a little boy doesn't have a plastic gun to play with, he will make one out of ANYTHING. Guacamole once made one out of a piece of toast.

For 4 days this past week I had the pleasure of having my niece stay with me, (ET's daughter, not CK's). Taking care of and playing with a 10 year old little girl can't be that different from having boys...right? WRONG.

Did you know that there are probably 100's of Littlest Pet Shop animals?
Did you know that each one has a name?
Did you know that 10 year old little girls can name them all?
Did you know that Polly Pocket probably has 2,783 different outfit ensembles?
Did you know that each one is SO cute?
Did you know there is a new Disney movie out about a Panda?
Did you know that there is a child that can tell you the entire story and it only takes about as long as the actual movie?

I have saved odds and ends for craft projects in a large tub for years. I always wanted to sit down with my children and make fun crafts. My crafting skills are very limited but I had visions of my boys and I making all kinds of neat things to play with and to decorate our house with. They have always loved making crafts about as much as they love trips to the dentist, homework and housecleaning. Alas, the tub of craft supplies sat unused except for the occasional last minute scramble for a school project....that is due tomorrow.....that I just found out about 5 minutes ago...that was assigned 6 weeks ago......that is more intricate and complex as anything I could ever imagine. You just wait until you need to make a nucleus out of packing popcorn, string, paperclips, rubberbands and fruit loops. (It was complex, there were 3 pages of instructions, it took him all of 15 minutes to literally throw it together and he got an A......I got a migraine.)

SO, the craft supplies sat and they sat and they sat. Although I tried on numerous occasions to get them to do crafts....it just didn't happen.

Did you know little girls love to do crafts?
Did you know that glitter and feathers make great outfits for little people made out of clothespins?
Did you know that some vacuum cleaners don't pick up glitter?
Did you know that you can name every craft you make?
Did you know that if you have enough small boxes, you can make an entire village for clothespin and cork people?
Did you know you have to drink alot of wine to get the corks to make all those people?
Did you know that you can reach a point where you are completely "crafted out?"
BUT, ha ha
Did you know that you can "surprise" your sister when your niece goes home with 3 boxes and 2 large department store bags of decorations for her house?......all adorned abundantly with glitter that will be floating thru her house for months and months to come?

Did you know that little girls never ever ever stop talking? I think I finally met my match.
Did you know that Drake and Josh's little sister is now iCarley?
Did you know that Disney has it's own channel?
Also, who are these Lizzie McGuire and Hannah Montanna people?
Did you know that everything small is SO CUTE?
Did you know that all animals are SO CUTE?
(did you know how refreshing it is to hear something is SO CUTE instead of calling it fat or gay.... not that there's anything wrong with that).

Well, my sweet niece's dad picked her up Thursday afternoon. I laid down on the sofa and listened to the quiet. Alberquando was quietly playing a game on the computer. Guacamole was either still asleep or at a friend's house (I can't remember).

It was so quiet.
It was so peaceful.

I opened my eyes and looked around at the sleeping bags, the large tub of left over crafts (considerably smaller), the box of dozens of polly pockets, the 2,783 outfit ensembles, the littlest pet shop animals (all borrowed from a neighbor with girls), the borrowed videos ( Hannah and Lizzie).

It was so quiet. (except, of course, for the thoughts that continually are rushing thru my head.)

Did you know that little girls smell so good?
Did you know that little girls have pretty pj's?
Did you know that little girls are fun?
Did you know that little girls are SO CUTE?
Did you know I miss her already?

Follow the Yellow Brick Road but But Don't Forget To.......

"Come out, come out, where ever you are.
And see the young lady who fell from a star.
She fell from a star.
She fell very far.
And Kansas she says is the name of the star.
Kansas she says is the name of the star.

She fell from a star.
And haven't you heard.
When she fell out of Kansas a miracle accured.

It really was no miracle, what happened was just this.
The wind began to swish.
The house, to pitch.
And suddenly the hinges started to unhitch.
Just then, the witch, to satisfy an itch,
went flying on her broomstick, thumbing for a hitch.
And oh, what happened then was rich.......

The wind began to switch.
The kitchen took a pitch.
And landed on the wicked witch in the middle of a ditch.
WHICH was not a happy SITuation
for the wicked witch
Who is just a smitch
Of What Was Once The Wicked Witch."


You know, I've read that people with ADHD have difficulty remembering important day to day events, things to do, dates, etc. But it is said that they can easily remember trivial unimportant things. I think that's ridiculous. After all.......um...because I was thinking......um....you know.....what was I saying?

Humor, Nobility, And Following the Rules

My sister and many of her friends and/or acquaintances went to the P31 She Speaks Conference this past weekend. It looks like they came back with a wealth of information, writing tips, knowledge ect. Obviously I don't know anything about professional writing and or publishing but I do know that if they want to one day be published , that there are guidelines and rules they must follow. I just hope that they don't get too caught up in the "correct" way of writing and lose the personal style we have all come to love. I read a few different blogs from some of the women that attended. When I read the blog I can hear them personally speaking to me. So, even though sometimes they will need to change things they have written for publishing sake, I hope that I don't lose part of the story because they have to delete 3 of the adjectives or cut out half of a paragraph to keep it under 300 words.

For many writing is a hobby (myself included) but for others there is that hope of one day publishing your work. I KNOW you will need to make changes, edit, write and rewrite but I DO hope you don't get too caught up in the logistics of it all and lose that special flare that makes your writing so special.

Different publishers, hopefully, have different rules and expect different things. If a publisher wants you to change more of your story than you feel comfortable with.....wait a bit before you make all those changes. Someone else might love it exactly as it is.

I like to write humor. I didn't even plan on writing humor. I just sat down and starting writing the first thing off the top of my head.....maybe that's why I refer to my hair so often. Of course, it's easy for me. No Pressure. I have no rules, regulations, or deadlines. If I don't feel like writing...I don't (and I haven't heard from my "#1 Fan" stalker since I put out the restraining order). I can ramble and ramble and carry on about anything or nothing. No pressure. I don't need to impress anyone. No Pressure (of course I'm sure you all ARE impressed...)Also my huge following of hundreds is really probably about 8.....(but you 8 are loyal and I love each and every one of you....except the #1 fan....but that's another story) My blogs don't even need to make any sense.......as you have all learned. No Pressure.

I know there is a huge difference from writing for fun and writing to be published but what I am trying to say (after all this rambling) is I hope your writing doesn't change too too much. You're very talented and I love reading your work. It HAS to be hard to say what you want to say and still follow all the rules. Can you even imagine me trying to even introduce myself in 300 words or less. It could never happen.

And just to show you that you don't always have to follow ALL the rules, read this:

"Humor is not a postscript or an incidental afterthought. It is a serious and weighty part of the world's economy. One feels increasingly the height of the faculty in which it arises, the nobility of things associated with it, and the greatness of the services it renders."
Oscar W Firkins
1864-1932
Memoirs & Letters

I had no idea that my hair getting caught in the bathtub drain or my trip to the dentist would effect the world's economy or even the nobility of things associated with it. Talk about pressure. Lucky for me, all I'm trying to do is get rid of all the rambleing thoughts swirling around in my head and maybe put a smile on your face at the same time.

All of this could have been said in one sentence "Try to follow the rules but PLEASE PLEASE keep it personal too."

See, that was easy. Why didn't you just say that in the first place?

th th th th that's all folks.

Love You Forever.....just don't get obsessive about it

"Love You Forever" Written by Robert Munsch & Illustrated by Sheila McGraw. Many of you with children may still read or at least remember this book. It is a "sweet" children's book. On the back cover it says "A young woman holds her newborn son and looks at him lovingly. Softly she sings to him:

"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be."

Sounds sweet enough. At both of my children's preschool Mother's Day celebrations (many many years ago) this book was read to the parents. The lady that read it had an oversized book for all to see. It really was about 3 feet X 5 feet. As she read it she would get teary eyed and by the time she was done the entire group of mother's were doing everything from wiping tears from their eyes to outright sobbing. That is, the entire group except one. Yes, you guessed it, Me. I tried to get a melancholy serene wistful look on my face but instead it probably just looked puzzled.

Don't get me wrong. I ADORE my kids. Although I'm not a "touchy-feely" person with most people, I am with my kids. I'm not stand-offish with them at all. They get all the hugs and kisses they need, but this book just creeps me out. Lots of other moms kept insisting to me (years ago) that it was a WONDERFUL book so I actually went out and bought the book because I was sure I had missed something special and had to re-read it. Sorry, it's just too creepy for me.

It starts with that sweet woman singing that lovely little song (written above) to her newborn. Okay so far.

The kid gets a little older and gets into typical kid mischief. The woman gets exasperated during the day (as we all do) and at night she still creeps into his room, picks him up and and sings that song. Still okay so far.

Then the kids gets older and older and the ritual continues.

Then he's a teenager. There is a picture of her crawling into his room and then it says she picks him up, rocks back and forth and sings him her song. Here's where I'm starting to get that creepy feeling.

Her son grows up and moves across town, (none too soon, I'm thinking). Then the book says, "But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town.If all the lights were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang (insert song from above)"

I'm sorry but that is creepy! There's this picture of a little old lady holding a huge man and rocking him while he's asleep! This guy has GOT to have issues by now. I've seen enough episodes of CSI and Law & Order to know that she is just asking for trouble. And why weren't his windows locked? And what about the neighbors? What if they saw her? She could have been shot!! And I guess the son would have slept thru all that too!

The book ends with with the mom calling the son and telling him to rush over because she's old and sick. When he gets there she tries to sing the song but is too old and sick to finish. So he picks her up and sings it too her. (yeah, that just makes me feel all sweet and mushy inside...)

When the son (man) gets home, he creeps into his newborn daughter's room, picks her up and sings her the song........

......and the cycle continues.

This is a CLASSIC book. Moms love it. Most of you may love it. I just don't get it!

Ok, this is what made me think of this book. (Come on, you had to know this was going somewhere). A while ago Guacamole asked me if he could get a tattoo. (he was 16 at the time and he would need a parent's signature). OK, I'm easy but not THAT easy. I told him No. He accepted the answer gracefully, as he already knew I would say NO. We started kidding around about it. He said "Maybe I'll get a friend to do it". I responded "You'll never drive again". (note: at this time we were just kidding around with each other....he's actually very respectful towards me, I'm lucky). ANYWAY, he responds "You won't know if I get it somewhere that you can't see". I respond, "OK, every night from now on, while you're asleep, I'm going to sneak in your room and check your body to make sure you don't have any tattoos". His response "Well, um, er, that's ok if you really want to mom, but ....um....well.....I think that's a little creepy".

SEE! Can't you see? It's just like the book! (ok, there really is absolutely no connection to the tattoo story and the book, but there is in my head and I'm writing this so....there you go.)

Why am I the Only one that thinks that book is weird? (why am I the only one that lets tattoos remind me of the book?) Why am I even writing about the book? Why is grass green? Why is the sun so big...opps...off track....I'm back. We would all agree that it would be weird to go and check your 16/17 year old son for tattoos while he's asleep. Is it normal to drive across town once he's an adult, climb thru his window, pick him up and rock him and sing?

It is weird, isn't it? (or is it just me?)

If You Hear What I Say Then You Heard What I Said........

I wrote this last Friday but I wasn't sure whether or not to post it. After all, I would hate for someone to steal the words. copyright them and then make millions off of my song. Actually, I hesitated because I wasn't sure how far I wanted to let you into my head....ok, here we go.

If Alberquando--12 years old, had his way, he would stay up all night and sleep all day. Today at noon I insisted he get up. He begged for 5 more minutes. I complied. 5 minutes later he still begged and pleaded for more time. I told him if he didn't get up I was going to sing. That drives him CRAZY. My wake up songs are random, made up on the spot and most annoying. He STILL didn't get up. Ok, he asked for it. I start to snap my fingers in a nice even tempo and .....

"It's after 12:00 and you're still in bed.
It's time to get up so do what I said.
Lucy's best friend was married to Fred.
Greens a nice color but so is red.
Pencils are made with a thing called lead."

(you have to sing it!)

"Mom, STOP" he says, but he's still in bed...

"You want me to stop, yes you begged and plead.
Gonna tell you a story bout a man named Jed.
He was a poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed.
A really nice horse could be a thoroughbred.
If it starts to snow, I'll need to find the sled"

"Ok, Ok, mom I'm up!" He gets up. But OH NO I'm stuck.

"I can't get this stupid song out of my head.
Another name for butter is oleo spread.
If you're gonna sew a button then you'll need some thread.
If you're not quite a doctor then your probably pre-med.
People from Deliverance are mostly inbred."

This is crazy. I need to get this song to go away. I'll go fix Alberquando some breakfast (lunch?) and try not to think about it.

"To make toast and jelly you will need some bread.
If it's not underneath then it may be overhead.
If I want a rake I'll look in the tool shed.
If you hear what I say then you heard what I said.
If you drove real fast then you probably sped"

Ok, this is out of control. I'm going to stop this right NOW!

"I want this to stop but it continues instead.
Mr Beatty's friend's probably call him Ned.
This song won't stop and I'm feeling dread.
If you ran away yesterday you probably fled.
If you're not alive then you must be dead.
If you're in the lead then you're the one that led.
If you're in love then you'll probably wed."

This is really ridiculous. I'm sorry. I can't seem to make it stop. Maybe I'll go read a book.

"I picked out a book but it was one that I'd read.
If you cut your finger yesterday it probably bled.
If you go where you went then you went where you tread.
If your name's Theodore you might answer to Ted."

I think tomorrow I'll just let him sleep in.................

For the Record

Ok, Ok, I know you're all tired of hearing about Roseanne Roseanna Danna. But because I have based my appearance on her I am going to set the record straight.

At first I called her Rosanna Roseanna Danna---that was inaccurate
Then I called her RoseannE Roseanna Danna---that too was inaccurate

For the Record.....her name was:
Roseanne Roseannadanna (no middle name here)

She also had a Nana Roseannadanna, An Aunt Pollyanna Roseannadanna, and a musically happening cousin, Carlos Santana Roseannadanna.

Now you have your completely unimportant, useless, trivial, trivia lesson of the day. It must be factual because I got it from Wikipedia. Wikipedia is on the internet and if it's on the internet it MUST be true....

"Well Jane, it just goes to show you, it's always something...."

I Love My Dentist

I LOVE my dentist! (no not "lovey love" with hearts and swirly smiles etc, just love as in Wow! he's good at what he does!) Don't get me wrong...I detest GOING to the dentist but as far as dentists are concerned, I think I hit the jackpot.

A little background. When I was probably about 10 years old, things were done differently at the dentist's office. The biggest difference is that the dentists didn't use Novocaine to fill cavities (at least mine didn't). That Hurts!! I remember once I must have groaned or made an "ouch" sound and he stopped working and looked at me and told me that if I didn't shut up he was going to shove my head down the sink! OK, I got quiet. I told my mom afterwards...but she disregarded it. Even his name was scary. I usually don't post names here but his name says it all...Dr. Stern.

Fast forward, I'm about 18 yrs old and on my own. I was careful to take care of my teeth so I could avoid the dentist. I probably didn't go to a dentist for 10 years.

Fast forward about until I'm about 28 or 30 years old. WISDOM TEETH. I put it off as long as possible but eventually I had to call and make an appointment. Luckily my teeth were all in pretty good condition, especially considering the lack of proper dental check ups but the wisdom teeth had to go. I was truly terrified.

If you have read my profile, you know that I am someone that will crawl into a burning building, climb into that overturned car and pretty much do whatever needs to be done to help someone during an emergency. Not only WILL I do it, but I WANT to do it.....yes, of course I would prefer there never be a need for firefighters and emergency workers and that it was a perfect world, but it isn't perfect so I am glad that if an accident or tragedy occurs I can be there to help.

BUT, put me in that dentist chair and I am a wreck!!

Anyway I love my dentist. He really is great. He's calm and relaxed and just takes me as I am (which of course is exactly different from calm and relaxed...even on a good day). We'll call him Dr E. When I go in for appointments the entire staff turns out to say hello to me. They laugh, wave, and smile and know that it is not going to be a "routine"day. First of all I need the Nitrous (sp?) Gas (I'll just call it the gas, but when I say my dentist gives me gas....don't snicker...we're all adults here...right?) ANYWAY, I even need the gas for cleanings. Without it Dr E and his assistants would need to scrape me off the ceiling every time they touched me. Every time I go in there, IF there is a different hygienist, I tell her to be sure to turn the gas up as high as it goes. It's written in Big Red Letters on my chart. They still look at me like I'm crazy, and turn it on low. Then Dr E comes in and says, "Turn it up all the way" and they finally comply. But the new hygienists always will look at me with that "we're going to have to preform CPR" look. They'll learn. The hygienists that have worked on me before just smile and say "Look who's here. We'll need to replace the bottle". It started out with 20% nitrous and 80% oxygen. Now they give me 60% nitrous and 40% oxygen. As a matter of fact, Dr E told me that he didn't realize the machine even went that high until I convinced him to try. He told me that a 300 lb man would usually be knocked out by that amount. But there I sit, gas on full blast, carrying on a conversation with him like normal. PLUS, that is all with the help of a Xanax that allowed me to get in the chair in the first place.

I KNOW I am a challenge for Dr E but I think he knows that if he can get thru me, he can do ANYTHING. Here's the funny part. I am always SO nervous going but he is SO good at what he does that IT NEVER HURTS. Even the shots, the fillings and the crowns. (regarding the crowns: yes, I grind my teeth in my sleep, then I wake up and spit out the pieces of my teeth and go on with my day.....and yes, I have tried mouth guards but I grind thru them....and yes, I know I have issues but if you haven't figured that out by now then you haven't been paying attention).

I have come to realize that the combination of my ADHD meds and the 60% nitrous makes me feel like what I THINK a "normal" person feels like. I'm not sure, but it's too bad I can't strap that machine to my back and try it for a day. Maybe I would be able to say 2 sentences in a row that actually relate to each other. On the other hand do I really want that? (everyone around me might). I'm ok with who I am. I'm really not flighty (even though it may appear so), I'm not even really crazy (at least not legally crazy) I'm just me. What you see is what you get.

WHOA!! Talk about getting off track! Did I mention that I love my dentist.

ANYWAY, yesterday I had to get a tooth filled. We went thru the whole ordeal. PLUS it's harder in the summer because I have to take Alberquando with me and pretend that it isn't such a big deal. Guess what, it didn't hurt! I didn't even feel the shot. Dr E is REALLY amazing. Not just the fact that he does his job so well, but also that he smiles when he sees me (he smiles bigger when I'm leaving) and ALSO, he actually "Lets" me come back.

As I was laying in the chair with the nitrous on full blast I had a thought that made me smile. Dr E is quite a bit younger than I am so maybe I'll die before he retires....hopefully in the VERY distant future. That way I won't have to start all over with a new dentist. As I lay there I also couldn't help but think "I hope my nose is clean and there are no stray hairs anywhere....after all that light is very bright and his machine probably magnifies everything. Is that what "normal" people think?

Well, all is done at the dentist office for now. My cavity has been filled and my teeth were cleaned there last week. Dr E and his staff have about 6 months to regain their composure which is just about enough time for me to forget that it isn't as bad as I always expect it to be. And the cycle begins again.......

Did I mention that I love my dentist?

Sydney Update

I think things are going to work out just fine.

The comments I read on the last blog were all correct and even though I had been hoping that alot of her actions were due to a new house, new family, being out of the cage at the kennel, etc, it was good to read that someone else was thinking the same thing.

48 hours has made a huge difference, (alright, it's only been about 43 hours...geez, you guys, give me a break!)

She's still active, wild and crazy but in a good way. AND, she stopped banging her head on the wall.....and so have I.

Alberquando took her for 3 walks around the block....actually it was 2 1/2. On the first walk, Sydney saw a squirrel and Alberquando learned that you need to hold the leash with both hands. Unfortunately he learned that after being dragged about 10 feet on his hands and knees. (The bleeding has stopped). I was really glad when after about 20 minutes of laying in the recliner like he had been run over by a truck that Alberquando picked up the leash and went and tried again. He asked me to go with him but I told him that I wanted him to try it alone again first (get right back up on the horse). After I gave him a few quick instructions on trying to let her know who was in charge, they left again....and made it home intact.

The first night she never stopped panting. Hard and loud panting. We would try to console her or love on her but she wouldn't hold still long enough. When we took her outside she would run back and forth across the yard as fast as and as many times as she could, then she would come in and lay there prone and panting, and then do it again inside. She also wasn't a "touchy-feely-lovey" dog...sounds like someone else we all know...except for the dog part....I'm not a dog (Really, I'm not.....I'm not a Junebug either).

Already now she will lay down beside us and the panting has subsided considerably.

Oh yeah...AND SHE IS HOUSE TRAINED!! That was my #1 concern when we went and picked her out, but at the pound they can't be sure if they are or aren't. Whew.

Well, I better go check on her. She's been awfully quiet for a while. She's probably in the other room quietly and calmly eating the sofa.

CHOW
(as in Purina)

Sydney

Let me start off by saying I am NOT an animal person. I don't dislike animals but never had any desire to own one myself. Well, I have 2 sons and a husband so I am outnumbered. We got Liz, our dog, about 8 years ago and sadly she passed away this past April. We knew she was sick for 2-3 weeks before she died and that it was coming so we were able to soften the blow to the boys. It was difficult, but she didn't appear to feel any pain and I was with her when she died. I must admit that for being someone who isn't an animal person, it was very difficult. But, she's resting peaceful now and maybe even catching that rabbit somewhere up in "dog heaven". (if she catches the rabbit in dog heaven then rabbit heaven must be somewhere else).

Anyway, yesterday we went to the pound to get a new dog. We found Sydney. She is a black Lab, German Shepperd, Chow....mix. Before we went to the pound I had the mandatory talk with my 2 boys about taking care of her, walking her, doing "poop patrol", brushing her, bathing her, feeding her etc. "Oh yes Mom, we promise''. Somewhere in my head I can remember those same words right before we got Liz. Right before I ending up taking care of her, feeding her, walking her, brushing her etc. Oh well.

I had thought Liz was a bit wild. She would bark her head off (not literally...that would not be good) sometimes for no reason and when she got loose she would play cat and mouse with you until you were ready to explode (again, not literal as that too would not be good). Then she would calmly walk back in the backyard.

Anyway, I thought Liz was wild, maybe a bit crazy.....I was WRONG! Sydney is CRAZY. She runs back and forth thru the house at high speed 4 or 5 times until she ends up running head first (as opposed to backwards?) into the sofa or wall or door. Then she lays there panting like crazy, jumps up and does it again. Then she spins in circles until I am almost sure she has gone mad, then she runs again. She's not old but she not a puppy either (about 13 months old). Can a dog have ADHD? I know animals pick up some of their owners traits but WE JUST GOT HER!

I'm hoping she is just excited and or nervous being in a new home. She had been picked up as a stray so who knows what she went thru the first year of her life. But she's driving me CRAZY---er.

So now I am going to go feed her, walk her, brush her......wait a minute......here we go again.

We Interupt This Blog...

BEEP........
BEEP........
BEEP........

We Interupt this blog for an important message from the National MSS Service. (that would be The National Mom's Surviving Summer Service)

This is a test. This is only a test. If this were an actual emergency the writer would be sitting in the corner, rocking back and fort, humming quietly to herself, glazed eyes and a simple smile on her face.

This is only a test. In order to protect yourself from the above mentioned fetal-like position, please be advised that at the time of this writing......

.......There Are Only 77 Days Until School Starts.

In the case of an emergency of a mental break down, please be advised to stay calm, park your children in front of the TV, try to relax, breath deep, scream into a pillow, take a moment to read a book, The Book, a magazine or a blog, and PRAY. This too shall pass.

This concludes this test of the National MSS Service.

It's Just One Letter (or is it?)

My deepest apologies go out to the late Gilda Radner. You went out and made a character that I based my own image on and then I inadvertently say and spell it incorrectly.

For The Record:

It is NOT RoseannA Rosanna Danna
It IS RoseannE Rosanna Danna.

(And I'm still not sure of the spelling)

To the hundreds of you that read my blog and cringed each time I said her name incorrectly, I also apologize to YOU! Yes, YOU. The huddled masses that spend each day patiently waiting for my blogs. You have put your own lives on hold just to read my blogs. And what do I do to thank you? How could I have been so insensitive?

What if I referred to CK as TK? A Chatty Kelly sounds SO much better than a Talkative Kelly. It changes the entire meaning, the good feeling you get inside, the, the point of view, the palpability, passion, pathos, sentiment, understanding, reaction, perception.... OK, I'm closing my Thesaurus now.

Back on Track

What if I called The Patterson 5, The Patterson 8....do you think they would still be so cheerful? What about CREATE: Making Something of Today? What if I changed that to CREATA: Making Something Of Taday? How could she possibly Creata something of Taday? And think about how tired Blessed With 6 would be if I changed her to Blessed with 10!

I am SO VERY Sorry!! It will not happen again, (unless it does....in which case it will be unintentional).

As I finish up here I do have a final thought. To the people I have mentioned today, I am not a free advertising agency. I will be checking my mailbox for my "cut" aka payment for mentioning your blogs. Monthly installments are perfectly ok. If you have any concerns or questions, please do not hesitate to refer them, in writing, to my attorney within 60 days. After the said 60 days, according to Article 6498327D, I will no longer be liable for any negative feedback you may receive, as a result of being linked to this blog. You will, however, still be expected to send your payments. There is a 5% late fee. Paypal and Money Order accepted. No Checks Please and Have A Great Day.

Ode To A Junebug

I am a Junebug. (no silly, I'm not really a Junebug,this is just written from a Junebug's point of view). Please stop interrupting me! Now I've lost my train of thought and need to begin again.

I am a Junebug. Less than an hour ago I was happily playing in the light from the back porch light. I was trying to see how many times I could fly into the wall at full speed without putting myself into a coma. Anyway, there I am minding my own business when one of those humans walked outside. I've never seen one up close so I decided to fly over and get a better look. It was a female and she looked a lot like Rosanna Rosanna Dana from those old Saturday Night Live shows. (Just last week I was watching those old reruns thru the window at my best friends house....we were seeing how many times we could fly into the side of the house at full speed without putting ourselves in a coma.)

Anyway, I must have flown too close because her hair reached out and grabbed me! Then she either started dancing or had a seizure. She was jumping up and down, grabbing at her hair, shaking her head. She looked like she wanted to scream but she held it in.

This went on for hours and hours....Ok, ok, actually it was probably 15 seconds but it felt longer and actually since my lifespan is so short, that 15 seconds in my time could be hours in human time. Now I have asked you to please stop interrupting me and there you went and did it again. Geez, can't anybody stay focused anymore??

So, She continued to pull at and grab at her hair. It was either to trap me or let me go, I'm not sure. Anyway the more she pulled at her hair, the more her hair seemed to envelop me. It was like being trapped in a spiders web! I was terrified. She was trying to run her fingers thru her hair to get to me but her hands would get stuck. Finally she stopped. All was silent. I suppose she thought I was gone so I made a little buzzing noise to remind her I was still there. The seizure/dancing started again.

Finally, only by the grace of God, I was able to escape. I think my arm/wing is broken. I have an appointment to go to the ortho-insect in the morning. I am more than just a bit shaken and I have a hair stuck in my throat. I may need to call my shrink in the morning also. It was the single most traumatic experience of my life. I could really use a Zanax right now. At least it looks like it wasn't a party for her either. She went back into the house but as I peek thru the window, I can see her occasionally shaking her head and grabbing at imaginary creepy crawly things. I wish I could sneak up beside her and buzz in her ear. That would REALLY freak her out. hee hee

As for me. I think my arm/wing will heal. The injury hasn't affected my ability to fly into the walls of homes at full speed as many times as I can without going into a coma.

As for the human, I bet she'll imagine hearing me in her hair at least for the rest of the night. HAHA. She looked a little shaken up and out of sorts when she went in.

I am exhausted. I am going over to the light beam and see how many times I can fly into the wall at full speed without putting myself into a coma. then maybe I'll take a nap.

And when my time in this strange universe is over, I am going to leave my outer shell on her back porch as a reminder of our adventure. I'm sure she'll appreciate that.

OK, I really am I'm to go now. There is a wall across the street that I haven't flown into a high speed as many times as I can without going into a coma.

Have a great day.....and watch out for those humans.
P.S. Please disregard the fact that I am a Junebug yet am typing this blog. Just because you've never seen it happen, doesn't mean it isn't possible.
P.S.S. OK, I'm REALLY REALLY going now. Just as soon as I fly into the wall how speed as many times as I can without going.... hello, Who am I? Why am I in this hospital? What do you mean I was in a coma??????????/

He's NOT ADHD He

Good Morning. You may have noticed that I have never mentioned my husband in my blogs or in my profile. Well, I am married. We've been married for 18 years.

I'm going to need to be very careful as I write this, as my husband (we'll call him "Not ADHD He") reads my blogs. This is a good thing because as I write this, it will help me be sure not to become biased or 1 sided because if I do I WILL be held accountable. (I can already tell there is going to be a lot of re-reading and deleting here).

We do NOT have a wonderful marriage. We do NOT have an awful marriage. We are married. We are struggling with it. At times it is VERY hard. But, we are still married.

When the phrase "Opposites Attract" came along, we must have thought that was a prerequisite to marriage.

A few examples:
As I stated earlier, I am My ADHD Me and He is Not ADHD He.
I can talk and talk to Anyone and he tends to be quiet.
I say "off the wall"or funny things that sometimes make no sense to anyone except myself and
he is VERY literal. (Not LIBERAL......we do agree on some things!)
I like people, I'm not too sure that he does.
I am too easy on Alberquando and Guacamole and he is too hard on them. Of course as a result of this I become even easier on them and he becomes even harder. (of course who suffers most because of this?....I know.
He is an extremely hard worker (probably the hardest worker I know) and stays on task and I
tend to float from job to job. I'll be working all day but it just doesn't look like I did anything.
I am a "People" person and I think most (not all) but most people like me at least a little and I
like them. He is a loner.
I believe in letting the "little things" go and don't think they are worth arguing about. He will talk
about the "little things" FOREVER until we are both exasperated and angry.
To be fair, sometimes I end up letting the "Big" things go. He'll talk about them (as we should) yet still we'll become exasperated and angry. (Looks like one of us may be the ostrich with his (or her) head in the sand.
He is a perfectionist and expects the same of others and gets quite annoyed when they aren't.....I am NOT perfect but last time I checked neither was anyone else.
I see the humor in life (maybe too often) and he takes life very seriously (maybe too often).
I see the good in people and I believe he sees the bad.
I can see both sides of important issues and can listen and hear other people's points of view and
he can be closeminded. (Actually he IS closeminded but since he is reading this I won't say
that)
He is health conscious (believes in eating right, exercising, taking care of his body to keep it
healthy). And as where I believe in those things also, I tend to lack that follow thru.
He also takes the responsibility of supporting his family very seriously and for that I am very
grateful.
.......
.......
......
With both have good points and bad points, just sometimes it seems we never have the SAME point.
I could go on forever, but I think you get the point.

ANYWAY, Tuesday night at around 11:00 PM, (he was in bed.."Early to bed, Early to rise...) I went into the kitchen to get a drink of H2O and there was water on the floor around the refridgerator. I looked for the source and couldn't find it. Not only was water on the floor but the puddle was getting bigger and bigger as I stood there. I couldn't find the problem so I had to go and wake him up. Now even those of you with the proverbial "perfect" marriage have to know that this is going to be a stressful evening.

We tried to find the problem. It was getting out of control. The towels were no match for this torrent. The wet-vac wasn't even a match for it. (not to mention I just knew one of us was going to get electricuted standing in the middle of the sea with an electric wet-vac). We moved the fridge and although that's where most of the water was , that wasn't the source. Washer? no. Sink? no. Hot water heater? it didn't appear to be. Broken pipe? maybe. Finally, he turned off the main water valve, we cleaned up the sea as well as possible for approx 1 AM and went to bed. Thank Goodness because he was grouchy as a bear---but that is understandable.

Next morning we start again. he calls his work and says he may be in later but not sure.

(Hopeing this doesn't sound selfish but this was my LAST free day from everyone before school was out and I had really been looking foward to spending it alone......ok, that sounded selfish so just ignor that last statement).

He and I spent ALL day working on this (mostly him as I could only assist). The hot water heater looked fine so he worked and worked on the pipes to no avail. Finally we emptied the hot water heater, took it outside, put it on 2X4's, refilled it and waited to see if it was leaking. Nothing. Then we added more water pressure to it. Nothing. WHERE WAS THE WATER COMING FROM??!! And then, slowly in only one place, a few drips of water started to drip out of the bottom of the heater. Then it started in another place. Then there was a stream flowing from another place. HURRAY!! We found the problem!

Of course there was tons of work still to do but we were on track. He went to Home Depot or Lowes to get a new heater. I worked on the drenched floor and soaking wet items in the kitchen and laundry room. WHAT A MESS!

He got home, we got it installed and had ALMOST everything back in the laundry room by approx 6PM. By 7:30 or 8:00 PM we had hot water again.

We Did It! I admit I was expecting it to be just awful all day, but things went ok. Even though he was a bear the night before. (again, I don't blame him there....who wouldn't be if they were woken up to that....on the other hand, it wasn't my fault so PLEASE don't take it out on me!!)

Well, I'm about done here. Not much humor today but I just wanted to say "Thanks" to "Not ADHD He" for keeping your cool yesterday. And I am grateful and proud that you have the knowledge and skill to take care of these problems. I didn't even mind working with you.

Now I must add the "I told you so"...."Not ADHD He" ," I have told you time and time again that I wouldn't mind helping you do things if you were only nice about it. No one wants to help someone or work with someone and then get yelled at while trying to help. I know life is stressful and sometimes it feels like one thing after the other goes wrong, breaks, etc. But that's life and if you relax and handle it with a smile (or at least WITHOUT a frown), EVERYONE is happier in the long run. Thank you again."

That's All. Good Bye.

To My #1 Fan

Dear #1 Fan,

Well, Hello. How kind you are. I am so sorry to have put so much strain on you. I had no idea of the impact I have on your life, (and obviously 100's of other people's too!)

You need to understand that this is a very busy time of year. I've been busy with "End of the year tests" and exams for the kids, half days of school, replacing our water heater.....which broke and flooded the kitchen and trying to take advantage of those last few moments of my own. (which are gone as they are now done at school). Not to mention cleaning all that hair out of the drain.

Believe me when I say you have my empathy and I will try to keep you entertained more regularly but you must understand something about me. HELLO!!! The name of my blog is "My ADHD Me"! Remember my profile? I specifically told you on the first day that I am NOT the most consistent person you will ever know. (Look over to your right. It is written right there under my profile.) HOWEVER, I will do my best to blog at least every other day, or every 2 days, sometimes twice a day, sometimes every third day but always by Thursday (except on the 3rd week of the month...) Then it will be Wednesdays or Tuesdays or possibly Monday's after 6PM.

Please also be advised that I have filed a restraining order against you.

Sincerely,
My ADHD Me

Where Are You??

Dear My ADHD Me,

Where are you? You last posted Sunday morning. I read your post and laughed my head off. After I reattached my head, I continued to check your blog for new posts throughout the day. After all, you have been known to post one, two, sometimes even three posts per day! I waited all day. I sat up all night and was still trying Monday at dawn. I was eagerly anticipating reading your blog.....nothing.

That's ok. I can handle it if there is only one blog per day. I waited all day Monday. I must have checked 500 times. Time after time I got the same response. No New Blogs.

I stayed up all night Monday night just trying and trying again. I double checked my computer connections, thinking that maybe I had a loose wire (no pun intended). Everything was connected. I called Comcast and told them there must be a problem with my internet service. They kept insisting that there was nothing wrong with my computer or my internet and that they had been receiving hundreds of calls all day regarding this.

Surely by Tuesday morning you would have a new post but to my dismay....nothing.

It is now Tuesday evening, about 9:00 PM and still nothing. I have been sitting here for over 60 hours. I'm pale and shaking. I can barely type as my fingers are cramped and my vision is getting blurry. WHERE ARE YOU??

Aren't Monkeys Funny Anymore?????

Love,
Your #1 Fan

Rosanna Rosanna Danna And ME

I've read blogs this week about body image, how much primping is "too much", being happy with what God gave you etc so I thought that today I would write about my hair.

I have long, brown (thanks to Revlon), curly hair. Those of you that are old enough may remember the musical "Hair" --"long, curly, frizzy, nappy, streaming, blowing, showing and SPAGHETTI!" (those of you that don't remember that can disregard the preceding sentence.

When I was growing up I HATED my hair. It was during the time when the style was stick straight, long and parted down the middle. (Picture Cher during the Sonny and Cher show--showing my age again). Well, my hair was anything BUT that. Picture, if you remember Rosanna Rosanna Danna (played by the late, hilarious Gilda Radner) from Saturday Night Live. Picture Janice Joplin. Thick, coarse hair parted down the middle that gets bigger and bigger as it gets longer (like a Christmas tree). I tried everything, curlers (to actually calm it down and even ironing it). There weren't many products out at that time (that I knew of anyway) so I just had to live with it. The boy that sat behind me in elementary school used to pretend there were little people living in there and would poke at it during class. (I may not have too many memories of my childhood but I remember you Devlin Harris!).

The Dorothy Hammil phase and the Farrah Faucet days were torture! The eighties were a little easier, after all, the style then was the bigger the better. Still I was never really satisfied with it.

Well, thanks to growing up, a little bit of maturity, the nineties (where anything goes) and the mass market of styling products available I learned to accept it. Not love it but accept it.

Well, now we are in the 2000's. And guess what my favorite feature is....my hair. It is still wild and crazy and everywhere but well, to me, it kind of is like my personality. I think my hair has ADHD. I never know what it is going to look like, Each day is a surprise, Some days I have these wonderful little ringlets all over, some days it has a kind of wild (dare I say, sexy-eat your heart out Devlin Harris) look and yes, of course some days it is still Rosanna Rosanna Danna. Some of my friends advise me to cut it. I wore it short once and yes it had a nice tailored, sophisticated look but it wasn't me. I think I'll keep it long. I'll be one of those eccentric little old ladies walking around talking too myself wearing a long hippie skirt, hiking boots and a braid going down my back.

Well, here is my laugh for the day. I was washing my hair this morning by kneeling beside the bathtub with my head under the faucet. I had on shorts but no shirt (it always gets wet). I'm washing, rinsing etc. The water is still running and I try to lift my head up. WELL, my hair has worked it's way down the drain and entangled itself around the little metal parts that keep things from going down the pipes. I was in a....you guessed it....A QUANDARY! I pulled and twisted but couldn't get it loose! The water was still running...I Could Have Drowned! (yes, I know I could have turned the water off but for dramatic effects lets just pretend I couldn't). So there I am, literally stuck, shirtless, on the verge of drowning and not to mention feeling just a little bit foolish. So I finally did what I had to do. I held the hair by the top and just pulled as hard as I could! OUCH!! But it worked. I must have lost about 1000 (major exaggeration) strands of hair!

So I dried it, cleaned out the now majorly clogged up tub, added a little bit of product, looked in the mirror and do you know what, thanks to curly, frizzy, every which way, never has a real style hair....it looks just like it always does! HA!! Let's see Cher or Farrah Faucet get away with that!!

Have a great day!

Quandarys And Quadrigas

Today is the last full day of school.

I'm sitting here staring at this empty screen. I have written and deleted and written and deleted and written and deleted. I need to start taking my Adderall (Riddalin (sp?) AFTER I blog. AKA---yesterdays blog. The Adderall does help some but not completely. My doctor says I am one of the few people that could probably use a higher dose. The FDA disagrees as I am at the highest legal dose allowed. SO....

What to do today? Another Quandary. I talked about being in a state of Quandary another day this week. I just looked up that word in the dictionary (sometimes I use the book instead of dictionary.com) . I knew I had the spelling correct (thanks to the lack of the little red line) but I just wanted to read the definition again to make sure I was using the same word I was thinking of. Well, according to Webster, I don't think it is possible to be in "a state of quandary". The definition of Quandary is "a state of perplexity , a puzzling situation". THEREFORE to say I am in a State of Quandary is like saying "I am in a State of a State of Perplexity". So I am not in a STATE of quandary....just a quandary. (but it's bigger than Texas) Whew, aren't you glad I straighten that out.

BTW, did you know that a "quadriga" is a Four Horsed Chariot? OK, I'm closing the dictionary now. HHmmm another quandary....The word Quadriga gets the little red line. I re-checked Webster and I checked dictionary.com and it is spelled correctly. I BEAT THE LITTLE RED LINE!!

I think my doctor was right. What does the FDA know anyway..............

Sister Number Three

The other sister----Once upon a time there were three nuns...no really, I'm not talking about that kind of sister. I'm talking about my OTHER sister. You always hear me talking about my sister, CK, but there is another sister too. We'll call her ET ( as in ET phone home). I thought about her yesterday as I read her comment to my blog....she's the anonymous one that said she was sitting home doing laundry while CK and I were out at the pool. She's just as important to us as we are to each other. We just don't see her as often as she lives on the other side of the world....ok, it's actually about 45 minutes away but CK lives about 7 minutes away. So you see, we aren't cruel and hateful and don't leave her out of everything. As a matter of fact, we "Let" her fix Thanksgiving dinner every year!

I am truly a hermit. (do you like the way I easily moved into that last statement, This is flowing like a best selling novel ) My very good friend RB tells me I am agoraphobic but I find that completely utterly ridiculous as I have absolutely NO fear of rabbits...Agoraphobic can easily be mispronounced ANGORAPHOBIC (I got the red line...don't think there is such a word). Since Angora is the wool or hair of a rabbit...or goat-but I'm not talking about goats so get off that subject- then you would automatically assume that an ANGORAPHOBIC is one that is afraid of rabbits or rabbit hair. Well, I AM NOT AFRAID OF RABBITS---well, I might be if one ever attacked me but I don't think they do that. (the mention of angoraphobia was not completely rambleing and losing site of what I was talking about....it refers to the reason I don't get to ET's house as often as I would like to)

Back to the other sister, ET,I go to visit her as often as possible but you wouldn't believe the preparation that goes into those visits! You would think I was packing for a trip to Florida!

GREAT, Now I have completely forgotten what the point of this blog was.

When I started this, I was thinking about how amazing it is that 3 women born of the same 2 parents could be so incredibly different. I mean you see it all the time. It was going to be a very introspective and thought provoking blog.....LOST THAT BATTLE! As for CK , ET, and I, We all love each other regardless of the fact that we are so VERY VERY different. But, Look at CK's 2 princesses--night and day. Actually, Look at CK and ME...believe it or not, we are alot alike but to most people it is more like ....hhhmm( I need a metaphor even bigger than day and night)... you know what I mean. Well, ET is even opposite of that. She used to be shy, so INCREDIBLY shy. The kind of shy that looks at the floor alot. She just dreaded going places with me. She would ask me why I felt the need to talk to EVERYBODY....including the lady at the snack bar....the man that runs the elevator....the stranger in the waiting room.....everyone and anyone....it drove her CRAZY (welcome to my world). She hated it because If I spoke to someone, then they would look at me and then they would see her....trying desperately to hide behind me! She's alot better than she used to be about that. But I think I still drive her crazy...imagine that!

So anyway, this blog has been the epitome of utterly nothing. As I re-read it I am considering deleting and starting over but what would I talk about then....I warned you in my profile I tend to ramble but even I have lost focus on this....ok that's not such a great comparison as I loose focus alot.

Anyway, we missed you yesterday ET. I wish I had known you were home folding laundry because I had some that needed folding also. And to the rest of you that actually finished reading this blog....I'm sorry.....you have just lost 3-4 minutes of your life that you will never regain, well, at least you weren't folding laundry.

I'll do better next time..... really, I will......uh oh....pressure..........

A Quick Part 3 to Bathing Suits and Hiking Boots

Just a quick helpful hint....That new kind of sunscreen is great. Just push and spray in one continuous motion. You don't even need to rub it in. Just make sure you spray everywhere and don't miss any spots.

Otherwise you could possibly end up with a long 2 inch wide streak of sunburn going down one leg only and 2 sunburned tops of your feet. (which is especially bad if you hate going without shoes.) Now I'm not saying this happened to me today. This is just a friendly reminder so it never happens to you!.....now where did I put the Aloe Vera and the Solarcane.....

Part 2 of Bathing Suits and Hiking Boots

I DID IT!! YEA!! I wore my bathing suit (along with sneakers and socks---which I DID remove--the sneakers and socks, not the bathing suit). And I had SO much fun. CK and I went to the pool and had a blast. It was just over SO fast. Time really does fly when you're having fun. Of course there were some typical "Me" moments: I told you all on another blog that my sister, CK is VERY punctual and pulled together. Always on schedule, remembers the sunscreen etc. Well, I was going to prove to her that I could be that way too. I got ready, set my timer for 10 minutes before I needed to leave (I live by my timer), did some stuff around the house (ok, spent too much time reading and writing this mornings blog), and anyway, just puttered around.

The timer goes off so I take everything I need to the car AHEAD of time so when it was time to go I could grab my H2O bottle and go. AAHhh, if life was just that easy. Everything is in the car, I grab my H2O, lock the door, get in the car, I'm going to be EARLY....now where are my keys? I started to sweat. I emptied my purse on the ground, emptied my pool bag, shook out the towel, checked inside the car and under the seats (luckily that was unlocked) I checked everywhere! I was sure that when I had earlier put everything in the car that I had thrown my keys in. I went to the place we hide the spare key and it was gone! (I was sure I put it back last time....didn't I?)

OK, it's really getting hot now . I read somewhere that the definition of insanity is trying something that doesn't work and repeating it over and over again hoping it will (well, it went something like that) (kind of like putting more money in a vending machine that just ate your dollar) . So what did I do? I re-emptied my purse and pool bag, re-searched the car, re-searched the secret hiding spot and wonder of wonders....STILL no key. I had definately left it locked in the house. I was in a quandary. ( I was going to say I was in a state of quandary but actually I am in the state of Virginia and you can't be in 2 states at once...well, I think there is one place where that is possible but it definately isn't here) By now it was approx 11:05. I am supposed to meet her at the pool at 11:00.

Poor CK, there is my name on her cell phone's caller ID----again. Of course she was already there, had dropped off her princess in the child care and was getting us a great place to sit .....and I'm standing in my driveway. She's a trooper (not a SUV). She came and picked me up ( about 8-10 min away at most-thank goodness). She didn't complain and only laughed at me for a very short time. I'm starting to think I really owe her big time.

When we finally got there and were situated we really had a great time. I got to talk to some of the moms of kids I occasionally babysit for and realized they they have real names besides "so-and-so's mom". I even REMEMBERED their names (CK did have to remind me once....or twice) So, Hi to "V" and "S''. It was fun spending some time talking to you both today......I did stop talking enough for you to get a word in edgewise, didn't I? (the amazing thing is they still let me watch their children!)

AND, AND, AND....after posting this morning that CK and I never win anything, we BOTH won a door prize. Also, I now remember that she usually does win that kind of thing but seriously, I never do. So, never say Never. Yippie. OK, it wasn't a million dollars but it was 3 free trips to the tanning booth. That means for a short time my legs and arms will be the same color as my ankles, knees and elbows!!

Happy Day!!

Bathing Suits and Hiking Boots

Today is the day. The day we dread. It will be a wonderful day. A fabulous and pampered day but Never-the-Less it is also the dreaded day that comes every year. Today is the "First Day I Put on a Bathing Suit Day". (first day of the season, I mean, duh)
I'm going to an event that I went to last year with my sister, CK. We had a blast. It is at a local pool. It's to give moms that "last day" to be pampered and free before summer vacation. It is entirely set up so moms don't need to lift a finger. 2 big pools, lunch prepared and served (by local high school and college boys), (and by served I mean literally brought out and handed to you while you're laying out in a lounge chair). They come and refill your drinks continually, there's even child care provided (mine are in school but I can definately remember a day when that alone would have been a blessing). AND Door Prizes! They gave out tones of them last year. Of course we didn't win one but that was ok, we really didn't expect that----it's in our genes when it comes to winning (or should I say Not winning contests etc).

OK, ok, ok, ok, ok...I'm back on track....THE DAY WE DREAD!! The official putting on of the swimsuit day. Now I shouldn't worry too bad. I went last year and survived and I've lost over 40 lbs since then (thanks to a diet of starve yourself until you feel like you're going to pass out and then eating 2 cheese nips while you sit down and put your head between your legs so you don't hit the floor). Please now, no comments on the correct way to lose weight. I know, I know...it's that instant gratification thing I struggle with. I'm not doing it anymore (for now) and I know that the weight will come flooding back as soon as I eat a regular meal but hey, at least I made it til today.

OK, back to the point....even with the lost weight, the bathing suit Is SO Intimidating!! I'm still bigger than I would like to be (but hey! I just had a baby, I'll use that excuse.....of course "Just" had a baby is a relative statement. My "Just" is 12 years ago...but who's counting anyway) My legs are so white they glow in the dark....except for the few uneven dark streaks around my knees and ankles where I tried to apply self tanner. And yes, I exfoliated and yes I moisturized, but I always get the dark patches yet I still insist on retrying.
ALSO, among other things, I have a foot thing. NOT A THING ON MY FOOT, but a "foot thing". Meaning I ALWAYS wear shoes or hiking boots and socks or tights/hose and closed toe pumps. ALWAYS. My feet are normal, (I think) I just always keep them covered. Well, that's a hard thing to do at the pool. But today I will be bareing it all. Even my feet! (and you thought YOU had issues! ) I'll be brave, I'll do it and guess what! I'll have fun!! (I wonder if people would notice if I wear hiking boots with my bathing suit??)

Askin' Ain't Gettin'

2 items to discuss today.

1st of all, due to the voice of the people, (I should run for politics) I decided to change Jack's name (hopefully, you all did realize that when I chose the name Jack because it went so well with Alberqundo, I wasn't serious--ha) I just couldn't think of a name to top Alberquando. Well, the votes are in and I took Jack down to the government center yesterday and had his name officially changed to Guacamole. So say a prayer for Jack as he is no longer with us. And Ladies and Gentlemen (if there are any gentlemen reading this) if not, then Ladies...I present to you my 17 year old son's new name...Guacamole! Now you must realize how long it took me to remember how to spell Alberquando. Here we go again. (btw, I looked up Alberquando on google and there were NO hits!...what a surprise!) I must admit that Guacamole has a nice ring to it and at least I don't get the little red line that Alberquando always gives me when I type it in. Also, if the 2 of them ever read my blogs, Jack AKA Guacamole, may have felt slighted since his brother had such a cool name. Now they both do, and as CK informed me Guacamole goes very well with Alberquando....as well as with chips and dip! Now don't any of you go changing your kids names to mine. You had your chances and you passed.

2nd item to discuss. I re-read my blog from Yesterday. What a sweet idea that was.....then they came home from school, My angels. First thing that happens is Guacamole (I need to get used to writing that) locked little Alberquando out. Alberquando bangs on the back window and yells to be let in. "ALBERQUANDO! Don't you know you never bang on glass!" "Your hand could go thru the glass, it could cut thru a main artery! You could bleed out in a matter a moments!" (that's the EMT in me talking). and "GUACAMOLE! Must you always torture your brother!" This is within the first 5 seconds they are home together. Responses from my angels "Well, he's fat" "Well, he's gay" (I hate those words, any of you with teenagers would know that gay is the insult of the season, and saying you're fat is the close runner up.) Neither is fat and neither is gay (not that there's anything wrong with that..) Then they race thru the house, eat everything in sight, one needs a check for his school lunch account, one needs money for an overdue book at the school library (he reads?), "Don't change the TV, I was watching that!", "Please sign this form", "I don't understand my homework", "Why doesn't he have homework!?!", and then the 3 most dreaded words to my ears....."What's for dinner?" One day I am going to blog about what those 3 words do to me. The sheer panic it sends thru my bones. Cooking is DEFINITELY not one of my gifts. I'm not good at it, I still haven't ever come up with a dinner that everyone likes, I was raised on Hardees, McDonalds, soup and mac and cheese. My dad used to say if your hungry you'll eat what we have....as he would be eating a COLD hotdog and saltines. UGH! "What's for dinner...."sigh, I've tried planning ahead, I 've tried making up a weekly menu, but there is only so much you can do with 3-4 main dinners. I've tried new things and new recipes but my cookbooks MUST be written incorrectly...they were awful! And I really can't blame them for not liking what I cook....you would understand if you ever tasted it...ouch!. (thank goodness Papa Johns delivers).

OK, I am getting WAY off track (how very unlike me). The place I was going with this was, yes, I am going to try to enjoy and make the best of this summer but Guacamole has put me in a tailspin. At his school, if you pass your SOLs and are doing well, you are exempted from final exams. THAT, my friends, means that those 4 early release days that I still had left of school next week just changed drastically. He passed all of his SOLS. Now I am grateful that he did, please believe that, BUT that leaves only 2 classes with exams (these classes don't have SOL's). One of those classes is letting them take their exam this week so they don't have to come in for it next week (that class, btw, is Psychology.,...I wonder if they have studied me yet....that is scary!). THEREFORE, he only has one exam next week (Music Theory....he's the one going to Europe to play music next year). Within a matter of 2 minutes, my 4 free half days for next week just turned into 1 quarter day. (They usually take 2 exams per day). He'll be at school on Tuesday from 10:15-12:30. And that is all, That's it, no more, kaput, school's out. Bottom line (see, there really is ALWAYS a bottom line (almost). This Friday is my last day. SO, I am going to go back and read yesterday's blog again. I just need to refresh that nice sweet attitude I had yesterday, " I am looking forward to summer, I am looking forward to summer, I am looking forward to summer, I am.,......"My final words for the day (hhmm, shouldn't that have been the bottom line....not with me..) My final words are from the movie Gone With the Wind. That used to be my favorite movie. I know most of the words verbatim (yes, I got the little red line on verbatim but I fixed it). In the movie, Scarlet is talking to Pork (an ex-slave). She says she is going to ask Mr. Ashley for money to pay the taxes. Pork reminds her that Mr. Ashley doesn't have that kind of money. "Well, I can ask can't I?" It's what Pork says after she walks away that worries me...."Askin' Ain't Gettin" .....I am looking forward to summer, I am looking forward to summer, I am looking forward to summer, I am.................

MONDAY

Picture a conga (condo?--no, that's a home) line at a wedding reception. Everyone in a long line and the drum beat is playing. The people are going step step step KICK step step step KICK. That is me walking thru the house singing Monday Monday MonDAY, Monday Monday MonDAY! Picture Snoopy from Charlie Brown singing "Dinnertime". He's twirling around and his nose is pointed at the sky. He is SO excited "Dinnertime!!" Again that is me except I'm singing "Monday!!" If I was computer literate I could add a picture of Snoopy here...alas, I am not.

Well, yesterday I wrote a quick blog about Monday and then I read the one comment I received. THE VOICE OF DOOM! Thank you CK for reminding me ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS OF SCHOOL!! And as I look at the calendar, it is really not even that long. This is the last full week. Next week is 4 days and they are all early release. (sigh).

Picture me. I'm not singing. I'm not dancing. (sigh)
THEN I have a revelation! (I'm so glad I just re-read this as I originally wrote that I had a revolution!) Jack, (AKA Alberquando's older brother) is 17 years old. This could very well be the last summer he'll be here ,as he plans to go to Europe next year after he graduates. I doubt he'll even be around here very much this summer. Alberquando is 12 so it is just a matter of time before he starts spending more and more time away from home. I NEED TO CHANGE MY ATTITUDE! Instead of moping around feeling sorry for myself because of my lack of personal time in the coming weeks, I'm going to try to turn it around and make it the best summer that I possibly can. I'll do what I can for us to do as much together as possible. I'm sure I'll be able to find a few quiet moments here and there. After all, there will come a day (and it will be here in the blink of an eye) when alone time and personal time will be the majority of my time. They are growing up. They'll move out and I'll be waiting for those phone calls and visits. Then when they call and or visit, once again I will be Snoopy at dinnertime or dancing in the conga line.

5 Free Minutes

Unbelievable!! I actually was able to get both kids off of the computer, on a weekend, for more than 5 minutes. Alberquando is outside helping with yardwork (and not very happy about it) and the other one has gone to the Auto Parts Store.

I need a name for the other one. It needs to be something that goes with Alberquando. Something similar since they are brothers. Hmm, I know! I'll call him Jack!

Weekends are nice but I LOVE Mondays!! Everyone goes to work or school and I get to do what I want to do and what needs to be done in peace. I Love them but remember.....Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The school bus comes in 17 hours, 45 minutes and 13 seconds, 12, 11, 10, 9.....

Times up, they're coming back in.
Well, it was nice while it lasted.