Saturday, June 21, 2008

If You Hear What I Say Then You Heard What I Said........

I wrote this last Friday but I wasn't sure whether or not to post it. After all, I would hate for someone to steal the words. copyright them and then make millions off of my song. Actually, I hesitated because I wasn't sure how far I wanted to let you into my head....ok, here we go.

If Alberquando--12 years old, had his way, he would stay up all night and sleep all day. Today at noon I insisted he get up. He begged for 5 more minutes. I complied. 5 minutes later he still begged and pleaded for more time. I told him if he didn't get up I was going to sing. That drives him CRAZY. My wake up songs are random, made up on the spot and most annoying. He STILL didn't get up. Ok, he asked for it. I start to snap my fingers in a nice even tempo and .....

"It's after 12:00 and you're still in bed.
It's time to get up so do what I said.
Lucy's best friend was married to Fred.
Greens a nice color but so is red.
Pencils are made with a thing called lead."

(you have to sing it!)

"Mom, STOP" he says, but he's still in bed...

"You want me to stop, yes you begged and plead.
Gonna tell you a story bout a man named Jed.
He was a poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed.
A really nice horse could be a thoroughbred.
If it starts to snow, I'll need to find the sled"

"Ok, Ok, mom I'm up!" He gets up. But OH NO I'm stuck.

"I can't get this stupid song out of my head.
Another name for butter is oleo spread.
If you're gonna sew a button then you'll need some thread.
If you're not quite a doctor then your probably pre-med.
People from Deliverance are mostly inbred."

This is crazy. I need to get this song to go away. I'll go fix Alberquando some breakfast (lunch?) and try not to think about it.

"To make toast and jelly you will need some bread.
If it's not underneath then it may be overhead.
If I want a rake I'll look in the tool shed.
If you hear what I say then you heard what I said.
If you drove real fast then you probably sped"

Ok, this is out of control. I'm going to stop this right NOW!

"I want this to stop but it continues instead.
Mr Beatty's friend's probably call him Ned.
This song won't stop and I'm feeling dread.
If you ran away yesterday you probably fled.
If you're not alive then you must be dead.
If you're in the lead then you're the one that led.
If you're in love then you'll probably wed."

This is really ridiculous. I'm sorry. I can't seem to make it stop. Maybe I'll go read a book.

"I picked out a book but it was one that I'd read.
If you cut your finger yesterday it probably bled.
If you go where you went then you went where you tread.
If your name's Theodore you might answer to Ted."

I think tomorrow I'll just let him sleep in.................


The Patterson 5 said...

A am literally laughing out loud! What a great way to wake up your kids! Maybe he will get up earlier tomorrow so he will not get to hear the song! He will probably remember it fondly and blog about it later when he is an adult!

Chatty Kelly said...

I think someone needs to shoot you with a tranquiler dart - the kind they use for large animals since you need 100% laughing gas. It would probably just help you calm down.

I am too tired, or I would write you a really funny rhyme back, but my brain is just saying buzzzzzzz.

Sue J said...

Shouldn't you be working for Lorne Michaels or somebody crazy like that??? SNL could use a shot in the arm from someone with your creative vibe.

'Cause you make us laugh; you're really sunny

We all read your blog--Monkeys are funny

You make Alberquando's eggs and they're all runny

You make up lines faster than the Energizer Bunny

And now my weak attempt to be you is all done-y!