Thursday, June 12, 2008


Good Morning. You may have noticed that I have never mentioned my husband in my blogs or in my profile. Well, I am married. We've been married for 18 years.

I'm going to need to be very careful as I write this, as my husband (we'll call him "Not ADHD He") reads my blogs. This is a good thing because as I write this, it will help me be sure not to become biased or 1 sided because if I do I WILL be held accountable. (I can already tell there is going to be a lot of re-reading and deleting here).

We do NOT have a wonderful marriage. We do NOT have an awful marriage. We are married. We are struggling with it. At times it is VERY hard. But, we are still married.

When the phrase "Opposites Attract" came along, we must have thought that was a prerequisite to marriage.

A few examples:
As I stated earlier, I am My ADHD Me and He is Not ADHD He.
I can talk and talk to Anyone and he tends to be quiet.
I say "off the wall"or funny things that sometimes make no sense to anyone except myself and
he is VERY literal. (Not LIBERAL......we do agree on some things!)
I like people, I'm not too sure that he does.
I am too easy on Alberquando and Guacamole and he is too hard on them. Of course as a result of this I become even easier on them and he becomes even harder. (of course who suffers most because of this?....I know.
He is an extremely hard worker (probably the hardest worker I know) and stays on task and I
tend to float from job to job. I'll be working all day but it just doesn't look like I did anything.
I am a "People" person and I think most (not all) but most people like me at least a little and I
like them. He is a loner.
I believe in letting the "little things" go and don't think they are worth arguing about. He will talk
about the "little things" FOREVER until we are both exasperated and angry.
To be fair, sometimes I end up letting the "Big" things go. He'll talk about them (as we should) yet still we'll become exasperated and angry. (Looks like one of us may be the ostrich with his (or her) head in the sand.
He is a perfectionist and expects the same of others and gets quite annoyed when they aren't.....I am NOT perfect but last time I checked neither was anyone else.
I see the humor in life (maybe too often) and he takes life very seriously (maybe too often).
I see the good in people and I believe he sees the bad.
I can see both sides of important issues and can listen and hear other people's points of view and
he can be closeminded. (Actually he IS closeminded but since he is reading this I won't say
He is health conscious (believes in eating right, exercising, taking care of his body to keep it
healthy). And as where I believe in those things also, I tend to lack that follow thru.
He also takes the responsibility of supporting his family very seriously and for that I am very
With both have good points and bad points, just sometimes it seems we never have the SAME point.
I could go on forever, but I think you get the point.

ANYWAY, Tuesday night at around 11:00 PM, (he was in bed.."Early to bed, Early to rise...) I went into the kitchen to get a drink of H2O and there was water on the floor around the refridgerator. I looked for the source and couldn't find it. Not only was water on the floor but the puddle was getting bigger and bigger as I stood there. I couldn't find the problem so I had to go and wake him up. Now even those of you with the proverbial "perfect" marriage have to know that this is going to be a stressful evening.

We tried to find the problem. It was getting out of control. The towels were no match for this torrent. The wet-vac wasn't even a match for it. (not to mention I just knew one of us was going to get electricuted standing in the middle of the sea with an electric wet-vac). We moved the fridge and although that's where most of the water was , that wasn't the source. Washer? no. Sink? no. Hot water heater? it didn't appear to be. Broken pipe? maybe. Finally, he turned off the main water valve, we cleaned up the sea as well as possible for approx 1 AM and went to bed. Thank Goodness because he was grouchy as a bear---but that is understandable.

Next morning we start again. he calls his work and says he may be in later but not sure.

(Hopeing this doesn't sound selfish but this was my LAST free day from everyone before school was out and I had really been looking foward to spending it alone......ok, that sounded selfish so just ignor that last statement).

He and I spent ALL day working on this (mostly him as I could only assist). The hot water heater looked fine so he worked and worked on the pipes to no avail. Finally we emptied the hot water heater, took it outside, put it on 2X4's, refilled it and waited to see if it was leaking. Nothing. Then we added more water pressure to it. Nothing. WHERE WAS THE WATER COMING FROM??!! And then, slowly in only one place, a few drips of water started to drip out of the bottom of the heater. Then it started in another place. Then there was a stream flowing from another place. HURRAY!! We found the problem!

Of course there was tons of work still to do but we were on track. He went to Home Depot or Lowes to get a new heater. I worked on the drenched floor and soaking wet items in the kitchen and laundry room. WHAT A MESS!

He got home, we got it installed and had ALMOST everything back in the laundry room by approx 6PM. By 7:30 or 8:00 PM we had hot water again.

We Did It! I admit I was expecting it to be just awful all day, but things went ok. Even though he was a bear the night before. (again, I don't blame him there....who wouldn't be if they were woken up to that....on the other hand, it wasn't my fault so PLEASE don't take it out on me!!)

Well, I'm about done here. Not much humor today but I just wanted to say "Thanks" to "Not ADHD He" for keeping your cool yesterday. And I am grateful and proud that you have the knowledge and skill to take care of these problems. I didn't even mind working with you.

Now I must add the "I told you so"...."Not ADHD He" ," I have told you time and time again that I wouldn't mind helping you do things if you were only nice about it. No one wants to help someone or work with someone and then get yelled at while trying to help. I know life is stressful and sometimes it feels like one thing after the other goes wrong, breaks, etc. But that's life and if you relax and handle it with a smile (or at least WITHOUT a frown), EVERYONE is happier in the long run. Thank you again."

That's All. Good Bye.


Chatty Kelly said...

Ebony & Ivory live together in perfect harmony, side by side on the piano keyboard, oh Lord, why can't we????

Glad a very stressful situation turned out alright! Good work NOT ADHD HE! (and not bad you either ADHD me!)

Chatty Kelly said...

You know what Paula Abdul would say, don't you? First she'd tell you how you did on your 2nd song which you hadn't sung yet - but after that she'd say...

I take--2 steps forward
I take--2 steps back
We come together
Cuz opposites attract
And you know--it ain't fiction
Just a natural fact
We come together
Cuz opposites attract

Baby ain't it somethin'
How we lasted this long
You and me
Provin' everyone wrong
Don't think we'll ever
Get our differences patched

Don't really matter
Cuz we're perfectly matched.


My ADHD Me said...

Looks like I'm going to have to share my Adderall with CK

Sue J said...

You, you don't, but I'll tell you now.... We had a blow up over here on Monday. The kids were the water heater. Sent hubby into a tailspin; me, I left the house for a meeting :-0

Now, you can't get new kids at Lowe's or Home Depot, so we had to just take a few deep breaths and sleep on things. (And I prayed, because I understand....and have lived through enough reactionary behavior to know the proper way to respond.)

Anyhow, it's amazing how different things look in 24 hours (after you pray), because hubby was back to "task," even though kids still remain imperfect ('cause who is perfect, as you so rightly point out).

Thanks for sharing.... Here's hoping for more floods of blog than floods on your floor!

Anonymous said...

that was a very nice blog. CK is showing her son knows Paula Abdul from American Idol and has no idea what any of her songs are. He asked if I knew who she was--and well I showed my age by starting to sing her songs (I also showed my known singing ability!!)